Each day we have a choice. We can choose a path of healthy behaviors or choose dysfunctional ones.

How do we learn what's good for us and how do we make healthy choices each day?

• Understand your physiology: Your "Lizard Brain."
  • Read the "Don't Listen to Your Lizard Brain" article in Psyhcology Today.
  • From the article: The reptilian part of your brain controls "primitive drives related to thirst, hunger, sexuality, and territoriality, as well as habits and procedural memory."
  • Be sure to take care of your body (eat, sleep, drink water, rest).
• Remember your biology. When afraid or angry, hormones are released into your bloodstream. These hormones can stick around for around 45 minutes if you're angry and that's why it's important to understand your physiology. How to be aware of your anger before it gets out of control:
  • Meditation
  • Take a break
  • Deep breathing
• Center yourself. You need a touchstone that you can trust to help you decide what is healthy and what isn't.
  • Is this true?
  • Is this healthy for me?
  • Strengthen your "adult" voice: "Parent, Child, Adult" voice.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

How do you get by if you are living in a family with active substance abuse or there's unhealthy/dysfunctional behaviors?

Many people don't have the ability to move, but need to find ways to survive.

If in danger, please contact the National Domestic Violence Support Hotline or call them at: 800.799.SAFE (7233).

To find healthier ways of living and building your self-confidence so that you can be happy, in this episode we'll discuss:

• The power of reading.
• Using role-play to build trust among friends. Games can be a great source of creating a healthy community.
• Journal writing and the power of the written word.
• Learning the importance of the word "yet" and how such a small word can build hope for you and your future.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3, and volume 4) or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)

Apologies for the poor sound quality as I had issues with my mic.

In growing up, we may have learned that arguing was bad, or worse, we may have seen unhealthy ways of resolving conflict.

Here are several fair fighting rules that you and your partner (or friend, family, etc.) can use:

Rules for Fair Fighting

• Use "I" statements. When you say "I feel upset beccause I'm afraid" that is being direct and vulnerable. Avoiding "you" statements is essential in effective communication.
• The purpose of an argument is to solve the issue at hand and not the 10 other examples you happen to have ready of what the person has done to you in the past. Focus on the present and only the matter at hand.
• No cursing or name calling.
• Listen. Really listen to the person and take turns talking. When the person has expressed their point, validate back to them what you heard them say. And then go on to share your feelings.
• Avoid throwing up blockers: "I don't have time to talk now" (and never agreeing there is a good time). Or changing the subject to avoid the issue at hand.
• No yelling at each other. When you're screaming at someone or they're screaming at you, finding a calm resolution becomes that much more difficult. Treat the other person with respect and ask that they do the same to you.
• Take a break. Arguments aren't supposed to last for hours. If you've had enough, ask for a short break, and then come back later to resolve the conflict.
• Come to a solution. Find a compromise that you both agree on or some understanding. If not, the argument will only come back to haunt you both at a future date.

Support the Podcast:

• Make a small donation through Buy Me a Coffee.
• Purchase one of the Let Go and Be Free books or 30 Days of Gratitude: A Daily Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
• Become a monthly/yearly subscriber via substack.

More Information:

Subscribe to the weekly newsletter to get additional help and support the podcast.

I’m not a medical expert. If you need help, please reach out to a medical professional.

Listen to the podcast on:

• Spotify

• Apple podcasts

• YouTube music

• Amazon music

• RSS feed (copy and paste the link into your podcast app)