Ergebnis für "Assassin" in Comedy & Humor

"Ach, leck mich doch an meiner Borke, du Bürokrat!" Penta arbeitet als Beamter in der geheimen Todesgilde und verwaltet die Aufträge seiner Assassinen. Stets an seiner Seite: Wurzel. Ein töpflich und geistig inkontinenter Bonsai, der Penta durch seine unbedachten Äußerungen immer wieder in Bedrängnis bringt. Eines Tages übernimmt Penta die Urlaubsvertretung für einen Kollegen und damit auch die Betreuung des berühmten Gentleman-Assassinen. Das Schicksal nimmt seinen Lauf, als dieser Assassine beauftragt wird, die junge Erbin Tonia Fill umzubringen.

Assassins Anonymous isn't just a weekly recovery meeting for reformed killers—it's also a family. When Valencia receives troubling news that her brother has gone missing, she wants to rush off to LA to find him. But she can’t bring her baby girl, Lucia. Enter the other members of Assassins Anonymous—Mark, Astrid, and Booker, who offer to watch the toddler while she's gone. After all, they're three of the deadliest, most highly skilled people on the planet; what could go wrong? Turns out, a lot.

Jen disrupts a meeting of the world's most powerful oligarchs. She escapes via paraglider and joins her partner, JoAnna, who drives a Humvee. The women are chased through the streets of Kuala Lumpur, then a higher speed chase on the byways of southern Malaysia. But corporate oligarchs strike back, killing innocent bystanders and handing Dog Breakfast a huge dilemma.

Who hasn’t wondered for a split second what the world would be like if a person who is the object of your affliction ceased to exist? But then you’ve probably never heard of The McMasters Conservatory, dedicated to the consummate execution of the homicidal arts. To gain admission, a student must have an ethical reason for erasing someone who deeply deserves a fate no worse (nor better) than death. The campus of this “Poison Ivy League” college—its location unknown to even those who study there—is where you might find yourself the practice target of a classmate.

In the tiny European country of Tantalia, Princess Niobe is being groomed to ascend to the throne. What her people don’t know is that from the age of sixteen, the Princess has been trained by her martial arts instructor, Gethan, to kill the businessman responsible for her parent’s deaths. Once Queen, she will have ‘sovereign immunity’ and be free to kill without the risk of arrest.

Une comédie déjantée, où l’inattendu rencontre l’humour à chaque page! Je m'appelle Damien Hachett : 34 ans, légiste, catapulté médecin chef à l'Institut Médico-Judiciaire. Tard le soir, entre deux macchabées carbonisés ou livrés coupés en morceaux dans un joli paquet cadeau, j'écris des bouquins. Jusqu'à ce qu'une nuit, mon plus vieux lecteur atterrisse sur ma table d'autopsie. Et maintenant... que les ennuis commencent !

Après trente ans de prison, Johan Andersson, alias Dédé le Meurtrier, est enfin libre. Mais ses vieux démons le rattrapent vite : il s'associe à Per Persson, réceptionniste sans le sou, et à Johanna Kjellander, pasteur défroqué, pour monter une agence de châtiments corporels. Des criminels ont besoin d'un homme de main ? Dédé accourt ! Per et Johanna, eux, amassent les billets. Alors, le jour où Dédé découvre la Bible et renonce à la violence, ses deux acolytes décident de prendre les choses en main et de le détourner du droit chemin.

COVID-19 is spreading across the country. Peaceful demonstrations for Black Lives Matter after the murder by cop of George Floyd have turned violent. President Trump’s handling of the pandemic seems incompetent and chaotic. Infections and deaths continue to rise. When Attorney General Barr orders riot police and troops to clear peaceful protesters from Lafayette Square for Trump’s photo-op with a Bible, something snaps in Jack Blair. After a psychotic episode he is thrown into prison, and his life is threatened by white nationalist boogaloo bois.

Guy believed he’d found the answer to overcoming that bleak dysfunctional fatalism they all felt. Bottling up emotions isn’t good, he reasoned. So, he would do what ordinary people did and he would set up an emotional support group. It was only when the newest member joined the group that things started to happen. The tables were turning and the assassins found themselves being targeted. This wasn’t good, but at least it gave an opportunity to get away from the hotel that served the worst tea imaginable.

“I wish he was dead!” Have you ever had that wicked thought? If not, then you’ve never met the contemptible Mike DiMarco, a man that gets his solitary pleasure from wrecking lives. Hypothetically, if DiMarco ruined your life and left you penniless, beaten, and broken, could you kill him? Well, you’re off the hook because Sturgis will do it for you - or try. Your mission now becomes that of a cheering supporter as you hear about the efforts of a lovable, clumsy man as he humorously, yet doggedly, discovers the ins and outs of getting even as an entry-level assassin.

Assassin.ly follows an assassination startup in a New York where murder is now legal—so long as you fill out the right paperwork. Join Mallory, the CEO of Assassin.ly, and Ben, the guy who is letting her stay in his mom's basement, as they navigate and narrate this brave new world to their shareholders. Listen as they launch their business, hire the only two assassin applicants left in the city, participate in the Murder Games, and try their best to turn bureaucracy into profit.  Assassin.ly is a comedy and should not be taken as business advice or even bad business advice. Transcripts ...

Death by Chocolate is her favorite dessert. And those knitting needles aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top-secret assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her kindergartner - would nooses count for a knot badge? - and keeping their puppy from destroying the furniture, Gin now has to take out a new target.

Hermann Kermit Warm is going to die. The enigmatic and powerful man known only as the Commodore has ordered it, and his henchmen, Eli and Charlie Sisters, will make sure of it. Though Eli doesn't share his brother's appetite for whiskey and killing, he's never known anything else. But their prey isn't an easy mark, and on the road from Oregon City to Warm's gold-mining claim outside Sacramento, Eli begins to question what he does for a living - and whom he does it for. With The Sisters Brothers, Patrick deWitt pays homage to the classic Western....

Back in the Summer of 2013, three friends played a game in which they attempted to assassinate each other. Murder, mischief, and mayhem ensued as laws were broken and friendships were tested.

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