When someone comes to you with a request or a demand, there are two things you can do: support or acquiesce.

Supporting means both people exist. You're here, they're here, and it's a real relationship.

Acquiescing means you stop existing, like a balloon where all the air goes out of one side to inflate the other.

In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like in a business context to stay present while serving your clients. We get into the nervous system piece: why fawning is a behavior and not a state, and why it doesn't actually regulate you. We talk about hishtadlus inside Menuchas HaNefesh. And we get practical: filters, recordings, scheduling, and how to use your needs and your clients' needs as the compass for every business decision.

If you've ever bent yourself into a pretzel trying to accommodate a client, and then felt resentful or burned out, like you're serving everyone but yourself, then this one's for you.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. This is the book where fawning as a concept was developed, originating in Pete Walker's work with complex trauma. The way he describes it maps directly onto everything we talked about today: giving yourself up in order to feel safe, stopping existing for the sake of the other person, and the nervous system cost of living that way over time. It's not a light read, but it's not overly clinical, either. Walker writes from both a professional and a personal place, and that comes through. Order a copy here . This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

What is therapy actually for? This week, we got into one of the questions I think about most, and it led us somewhere really unexpected.

We started with the idea of "the edge," that place in Focusing between what we already know about ourselves and what we don't yet know. That's where real change happens. Not in the rehashing, not in the advice-giving, not in mapping everything we've already mapped, but in the unknown territory that only opens up when we slow down enough to get there.

From there we talked about why self-help books, while genuinely valuable, can only take us so far, and why knowing something and actually integrating it are two completely different things. The Sifsei Chaim has something beautiful to say about this: the avodah isn't the knowing, it's the bringing-to-the-heart. Because the longest distance is to our hearts, and our hearts need constant reminder.

We also got into what focusing sessions actually look like from the inside, from the "edge extravaganza" days to the days you just don't want to go there at all, and why a person cannot take themselves out of jail, and why that's not something to be ashamed of.

Plus the Super Mario metaphor that I'm pretty sure will stick with you. Join us.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. This is the foundational text: the book that introduced the concept of the edge, the felt sense, and what it means to bring something from information into the body. Everything we talked about today lives in this book. If you're a practitioner who wants to understand what you're actually helping your clients do when you slow things down, or if you're someone who's been in therapy for years and wondering why knowing things isn't moving you forward, this is where to go next. Order a copy here. This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work. Focusing: Gendlin, Eugene T.: 9780553278330: Amazon.com: Books

Mindful Week Completion

In Rena's guided somatic mindfulness practice, we started by taking deep breaths, allowing our inhales to go as deep as our bodies were willing, and extending our exhales. We tuned into our bodies, feeling the support of the surface beneath us, and allowed ourselves to sink into it. We then brought to mind everything that needed to be done to finish off our week, noticing the emotions and physical sensations that arose. We distinguished each emotion, sensation, and thought, checking in with each part of ourselves to understand its needs. With compassion, we acknowledged and accepted these parts, listening to what form of support they required. Finally, we noticed the impact of this mindful practice on our bodies and asked for Hashem's assistance to help us support these parts as we moved forward.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!

Embodying Relaxing and Trusting Hashem

During our guided somatic mindfulness practice with Rena, we took a journey inward to become more embodied. We began by taking deep breaths, inviting our breath to signal that it was okay to slow down, relax, and let go. We allowed our bodies to settle into the surface beneath us, feeling thoroughly supported. Rena asked us to recall a time when we struggled physically, emotionally, or spiritually, and then suddenly found help. We sensed this in our bodies, remembering the relief and safety it brought. We then brought to mind a current, smaller struggle, sensing how it felt in our bodies. We recalled the past help we received, trusting that we could rely on Hashem's support again. We were encouraged to let go of responsibilities that weren't ours and to feel supported, knowing Hashem's help would come as it always has.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!

Breath Awareness

During our guided somatic mindfulness practice with Rena, we embarked on a journey to become more embodied. We began by taking a few deep breaths, allowing our breath to go as deep as it could at that moment without forcing it. We grounded ourselves by feeling the support of the surface beneath us and invited our bodies to settle further. We focused intently on our breath, tracking its rhythm, temperature, and texture. Then, we defocused, simply being aware of the vast oxygen around us, sensing its nourishing presence. We gently moved our heads, exploring the air from different directions, before returning our focus to our breath, observing any changes. By the end, we reflected on any shifts in our body and mind, appreciating the awareness we brought to our breath and the world around us.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!

Music's Presence and Absence

In our guided somatic mindfulness practice with Rena, we began by taking deep breaths, allowing our breath to flow naturally. We invited our bodies to relax and sink into the surface beneath us, releasing tension and slowing down to be present with ourselves. Rena then introduced the topic of music, guiding us to observe how our bodies responded to thoughts of music, noting the physical sensations and emotions that arose. We explored the contrast by considering the absence of music, again noticing our bodily and emotional reactions. We alternated between these experiences, paying attention to the sensations and feelings each evoked. This practice helped us understand that our bodies can tolerate both extremes, provided we maintain a sense of safety. We concluded by reflecting on what enabled us to be present with both experiences and considering how to carry this awareness into our daily lives.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!

Respecting Our Inner Selves

In Rena's guided somatic mindfulness practice, we engaged in a journey to become more embodied. We started by taking deep breaths, allowing ourselves to slow down and be present without forcing anything. We focused on sensing the support of the surface beneath us and invited our bodies to settle further. Shifting our awareness inward, we practiced giving respect to all parts of ourselves, noticing any thoughts, emotions, or sensations that arose. We listened to these inner experiences without judgment, providing space and respect for them to express themselves. We asked these parts how they felt, what they needed, and offered understanding and respect in return. This practice fostered a deep connection with our inner world, helping us to acknowledge and honor our entire being.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!

Connecting to Comfort

During Rena's guided somatic mindfulness practice, we began by taking deep breaths, inviting relaxation, and allowing our bodies to settle onto the supportive surface beneath us. We brought to mind an object that gives us comfort, either from our past or present, and imagined the comfort it provides. We focused on where and how we felt this comfort in our bodies, staying with the sensation. Rena then invited us to connect this feeling of comfort to the loving support of Hashem, recognizing that His support is infinitely more comforting. We were encouraged to hold on to this experience and remember that we can always rely on Hashem's endless comfort and support, especially when we need it most.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

2) Leave a review on your favorite podcast app or my website.

3) Send me an email or message with your experience listening to this.

4) Make a donation on my website: https://renareiser.com/product/the-daily-pause/

Thank you for your support!