When someone comes to you with a request or a demand, there are two things you can do: support or acquiesce.

Supporting means both people exist. You're here, they're here, and it's a real relationship.

Acquiescing means you stop existing, like a balloon where all the air goes out of one side to inflate the other.

In this episode, we talk about what it actually looks like in a business context to stay present while serving your clients. We get into the nervous system piece: why fawning is a behavior and not a state, and why it doesn't actually regulate you. We talk about hishtadlus inside Menuchas HaNefesh. And we get practical: filters, recordings, scheduling, and how to use your needs and your clients' needs as the compass for every business decision.

If you've ever bent yourself into a pretzel trying to accommodate a client, and then felt resentful or burned out, like you're serving everyone but yourself, then this one's for you.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. This is the book where fawning as a concept was developed, originating in Pete Walker's work with complex trauma. The way he describes it maps directly onto everything we talked about today: giving yourself up in order to feel safe, stopping existing for the sake of the other person, and the nervous system cost of living that way over time. It's not a light read, but it's not overly clinical, either. Walker writes from both a professional and a personal place, and that comes through. Order a copy here . This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

What is therapy actually for? This week, we got into one of the questions I think about most, and it led us somewhere really unexpected.

We started with the idea of "the edge," that place in Focusing between what we already know about ourselves and what we don't yet know. That's where real change happens. Not in the rehashing, not in the advice-giving, not in mapping everything we've already mapped, but in the unknown territory that only opens up when we slow down enough to get there.

From there we talked about why self-help books, while genuinely valuable, can only take us so far, and why knowing something and actually integrating it are two completely different things. The Sifsei Chaim has something beautiful to say about this: the avodah isn't the knowing, it's the bringing-to-the-heart. Because the longest distance is to our hearts, and our hearts need constant reminder.

We also got into what focusing sessions actually look like from the inside, from the "edge extravaganza" days to the days you just don't want to go there at all, and why a person cannot take themselves out of jail, and why that's not something to be ashamed of.

Plus the Super Mario metaphor that I'm pretty sure will stick with you. Join us.

If this episode resonated with you, I recommend Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. This is the foundational text: the book that introduced the concept of the edge, the felt sense, and what it means to bring something from information into the body. Everything we talked about today lives in this book. If you're a practitioner who wants to understand what you're actually helping your clients do when you slow things down, or if you're someone who's been in therapy for years and wondering why knowing things isn't moving you forward, this is where to go next. Order a copy here. This is an affiliate link which doesn't cost you anything extra and helps support my work. Focusing: Gendlin, Eugene T.: 9780553278330: Amazon.com: Books

Mindful Week Completion

In Rena's guided somatic mindfulness practice, we started by taking deep breaths, allowing our inhales to go as deep as our bodies were willing, and extending our exhales. We tuned into our bodies, feeling the support of the surface beneath us, and allowed ourselves to sink into it. We then brought to mind everything that needed to be done to finish off our week, noticing the emotions and physical sensations that arose. We distinguished each emotion, sensation, and thought, checking in with each part of ourselves to understand its needs. With compassion, we acknowledged and accepted these parts, listening to what form of support they required. Finally, we noticed the impact of this mindful practice on our bodies and asked for Hashem's assistance to help us support these parts as we moved forward.

If you feel called to support my mission of promoting Menuchas Hanefesh and self-care, please consider one or more of the following.

1) Share this episode with a friend or family member you think would appreciate it.

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