► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

https://understandable.net/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Sometimes, there’s a wild dragon in our mind.

It makes our head turn small problems into something that feels threatening.

Creating a big disaster and making our thoughts catastrophizing.

The dragon can awaken at any time.

When we get triggered — by our partner, our boss, or even by ourselves — our calm state gets hijacked.

And suddenly, it feels like a fire-breathing dragon takes over our thoughts.

It twists how we see things.

It exaggerates danger.

And if we’re not careful, we don’t just have the dragon in our mind — we become it.

We say things we don’t mean.

We assume the worst.

We hurt other people — and ourselves — often without even realizing it.

► Links and Resources:

Negativity Bias Article: https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/negativity-bias

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠

https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music:

⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 The Inner Dragon

04:25 Why The Dragon Exists

07:50 How To Tame The Dragon

10:46 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

⁠https://understandable.net/⁠ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠ (Ad)

Why do intimate relationships always feel so emotionally overwhelming?

I’ve been wondering about that question ever since I started dating.

Somehow, relationships always felt more difficult for me than they seemed to be for other people.

Not for everyone, but there is definitely a group of people who doesn't understand my specific challenges with it.

► Links and Resources:

Regulation in Isolation Episode: https://youtu.be/PP9dvNWZ8p4?si=dCqQr20jMrTEE2RK

You Can’t Change Them Episode: https://youtu.be/JUu4MkLvrK4?si=AfBjjLIw7nAj8CDb

Sense of Self Article: https://www.healthline.com/health/sense-of-self

The Four Points of Balance: https://jamesmchristensen.com/blog/david-schnarchs-four-points-of-balance

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠

⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠

Amazon Music:

⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro - Relationships Feel Emotionally Overwhelming

Relationships Feel Emotionally Overwhelming

03:39 Why Your Relationships Feel Emotionally Overwhelming

10:05 How To Feel Less Emotionally Overwhelmed In Relationships

11:19 The Four Points Of Balance

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)

Emotions are just states that constantly change. No emotional state stays forever. Also emotions are survivable. This is what my therapist always said. You are not the emotions, which are the clouds, you are the sky that’s always there, no matter which emotion arises.

► Links and Resources:

Polyvagal Theory Video:

https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music: ⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro - Inside the Emotional Storm

01:43 Why Is The Emotional Storm So Powerful?

03:59 Calming The Storm

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

https://understandable.net/ (Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)

Some of the things you call red flags might actually be the healthiest signs you’ve ever seen.

If you grew up in a difficult environment where these following greenflags were not familiar or even dangerous, that’s not surprising.

Because when chaos was normal, when you got hurt, safety can feel wrong.

Calm feels boring. Consistency suspicious. And closeness can feel dangerous.

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠

https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music:

⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 7 Dating Red Flags, That Are Actually Green

00:33 1. They Don’t Always Respond Right Away

02:40 2. They’re Not Very Active on Social Media

04:12 3. They Have Close Friends of the Opposite Sex

05:59 4. They Value Their Own Space and Independence

07:50 5. They Say What They Think Directly

09:48 6. They’re Genuine, Not Constantly Charismatic

11:38 7. They Don’t Always Make You Feel Comfortable

13:37 From Red To Green

16:00 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)

Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today’s episode, where we talk about 7 Trauma-Driven Green Flags, That Are Actually Red

You might think you’ve found the one — they’re kind, attentive, emotionally open… But what if those ‘green flags’ are actually coming from unresolved trauma?

Therefore today, I’ll walk you through 7 behaviors that look like emotional maturity or even love but are secretly warning signs rooted in anxious attachment, fawning, codependency, or toxic shame.

If you’re someone healing from CPTSD, this might just change how you see "healthy" relationships forever.

► Links and Resources:

The Secret To STOP Fighting in Your Relationships:

https://youtu.be/dF2QYyxqJjM

Spiritual Bypassing:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_bypass ⁠

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music: ⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:11 Flag 1: They Always Want To Be With You

05:46 Flag 2: They Never Get Mad At You

12:10 Flag 3: They Open Up About Everything On The First Date

16:42 Flag 4: They Always Put You First

19:00 Flag 5: They See You As Their Entire World

21:39 Flag 6: They Communicate So Well During Conflict, But Nothing Ever Changes

25:22 Flag 7: They’re Obsessed With “Healing”

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

In this video, I explore attachment styles, how to identify a secure partner, and the dynamics of trauma bonding.

► Links and Resources:

Fear of Commitment Video:

https://youtu.be/SUECZtfGkEM?si=mKymbK-Sh2jeFVD1

Chaotic Attachment Video:

https://youtu.be/-BFW7lVd8Yk?si=asZKMwEpWoPtradm

Trauma Bonding Article:

https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding/

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music: ⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:13 Dating With CPTSD

10:09 Dating With An Avoidant Attachment Style

13:40 Dating With An Anxious Attachment Style

16:17 Dating With A Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style

18:43 Trauma Bondings In CPTSD Dating

21:19 Why Secure Love Feels Boring

24:05 Dating with a Secure Attachment Style

27:01 How To Find a Secure Partner

27:30 Step 1: Start To Reclaim Your Own Sense Of Self First

30:15 Step 2: Continuously Shed A Light And Question Your Triggers

31:39 Step 3: Start To Become A More Securely Attached Person Yourself

34:08 Step 4: Date Like A Secure Person Would

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Start Our Premium Course Trial:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)

► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques:

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)

There is a way to crush you pink glasses for someone now.

But let me warn you up front: This way is not good advice, neither will it end your romantic obsession problems long term.

Still, it works if you want to stop intrusive thought about someone instantly.

The solution is: Get more options!

Get another or even better - more surfaces for your projections of your fantasies aka limerent objects

► Links and Resources:

Limerence While in a Relationship:

https://youtu.be/UOZLmQkBFMM

ChatGPT as Therapist Video:

https://youtu.be/JRo6PgSiB3w?si=jX8TGEKH1q0LSFE_

Detachment & Letting Go Video: https://youtu.be/WUJu3dVIUZ0?si=WhQ51parSClkzTSD

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠

Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

Amazon Music: ⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

02:18 Way 5: Truly Want (Decide) To Move On

07:50 Way 4: Use AI-Tools As A Neutral Mirror

13:58 Way 3: Accept What It Means To Be Over Your L.O.

16:11: Way 2: Understand What Your Inner Child Truly Needs (And Never Got)

19:30 Way 1: Be Prepared To Sit On A 3-Legged Chair (Get A Life)

20:56 Pillars Of Stability/Leg 1: Health

22:02 Leg 2: Wealth/Work

22:42 Leg 3: Social Life

24:00 Leg 4: Options

25:13 Leg 5: Self-Worth

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable.net

► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory.

My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.