Two Cents Gets Distracted is back for Super Rugby semifinal weekend — a weekend where we were promised tension, drama, heartbreak, and possibly a couple of classic playoff arm-wrestles.

Instead, we got two absolute pumpings.

First up, the Crusaders — the playoff specialists, the heartbreak merchants, the team who have ruined so many perfectly good weekends for so many perfectly decent rugby fans — went up against one of the four teams of the year, the Chiefs.

We were all set for a tight one. A proper semifinal. A clash of heavyweights.

What we got was the Chiefs putting 30-plus points on them in the first half and turning the whole thing into something closer to a public execution than a rugby match. The score settled a little in the second half, but let’s be honest, the damage was done.

As neutrals, we probably wanted a contest.

As people who have watched the Crusaders cause untold emotional damage for years, we also didn’t entirely hate seeing them get pumped.

Then it was time for our Blues, who had absolutely no business being anywhere near a semifinal, but through the luck of some playoff-format nonsense found themselves lining up against the high-flying Harlem Hurricanes — or, frankly, the Harlem Globetrotter Hurricanes.

The Canes were slick. They were sharp. They were ridiculous.

There was a touch of skulduggery from our man Cam Roigard, but he got on with it, lifted the tempo, and the Hurricanes started doing Hurricanes things. To be fair to the Blues, the first half was at least a little tighter than the Chiefs-Crusaders game, with only four points in it at the break.

Then the second half happened.

The Hurricanes showed their class, the Blues forgot how defence works, and the Canes ended up putting 50-plus on them. Mercifully, the Blues’ season is now over, and we can all move on with our lives.

So now we get the final the competition probably needed: Chiefs vs Hurricanes at the Cake Tin. The two best, most in-form teams in Super Rugby going head-to-head.

Will they fill the tin to the brim? Who knows.

Can we please, for the love of all things holy, get a competitive game?

We also have a chat about the URC final coming up, with Leinster taking on the Bulls, and because this is Two Cents Gets Distracted, there are naturally a couple of technical difficulties to keep things spicy.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Massive thanks as well to Carl from Republic Home and his dad David for sponsoring the podcast. You can get 10% off by using the code 2CGD at republichome.com. Thanks for the beers, lads.

.There was also a heap of playoff rugby across the URC and Super Rugby, although if we’re being brutally honest, a lot of the games were a bit one-sided and a touch meh. Plenty of lovely tries, great skills, and individual moments of brilliance, but not a huge amount of jeopardy.

The URC probably delivered the better drama. Leinster were ultimately too good for the Stormers, but the Stormers made them work for it for a decent stretch. Meanwhile, the Bulls pulled off a cracking come-from-behind win against Glasgow, who were playing at Murrayfield — when, let’s be honest, they probably would’ve much rather been at their actual home ground.

In Super Rugby, things got a bit ridiculous. The Hurricanes, who qualified number one, played the Brumbies, who qualified sixth, and absolutely pumped them. Which raises the very fair question: what was the point of that game? The format seems designed to suck the jeopardy out of the tournament just so we can squeeze in three quarter-finals. Honestly, just give us a top four and be done with it.

Elsewhere, the Blues looked like they remembered how to play rugby for brief periods, before also remembering they had the defensive structure of a wet paper bag. The Crusaders put plenty on them down in Christchurch, and yet somehow, despite losing a worrying number of games in a row, the Blues are now semi-finalists thanks to the “lucky loser” system.

The best Super Rugby game of the weekend was probably Chiefs v Reds, even though the Chiefs still managed to win it relatively comfortably and end the Reds’ season.

So yes, we talk dads, rugby, playoff formats, lucky losers, one-sided quarter-finals, and the general absurdity of it all. Tony, in particular, has a bit of a whinge.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

This week’s episode comes with a small technical disclaimer: we absolutely butchered the video file, so due to corrupted footage, this one is mostly audio-only with a few tiny video scraps sprinkled in. Apologies — although, to be fair, we’ve never looked better.

But fear not, because the rugby chat survives.

After the usual world-class nonsense, we dive into the URC, where the semi-finalists are locked in and rugby fans in New Zealand are, of course, absolutely buzzing with excitement. No irony there whatsoever. In all seriousness, though, the final four should make for some cracking clashes, and we break down what’s coming.

Then it’s over to the final round of Super Rugby, where the Blues continued their late-season collapse by getting absolutely pumped by the Mooloo men of Waikato. Moana Pasifika delivered the feel-good story of the week, grabbing a win in what may sadly be their final game in existence. Meanwhile, the Crusaders — being the absolute bastards they are — appear to be coming right at exactly the right time.

And who gets to face them next week in Christchurch, at their shiny new stadium? The Auckland Blues, currently riding a four-game losing streak. Lovely.

Even better, thanks to the bizarre “lucky loser” setup, the Blues might still sneak through even if they lose. Because apparently even finals rugby doesn’t need actual jeopardy anymore.

We also touch on the Force, Waratahs, Highlanders, and look ahead to a weekend of knockout rugby, jump flights, jump sticks, and all the usual nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Two Cents Gets Distracted returns for another week of rugby nonsense, overreactions, and the occasional decent point.

This week: Leinster do what Leinster do best — rock up with what is basically a full international side (plus newly signed 88-test All Black Rico Ioane) and somehow still get absolutely folded in a big knockout game. Bordeaux go back-to-back in the Champions Cup and, sadly for the neutrals, it wasn’t even close. A full-scale French demolition job.

We also discuss the absolute unit that is Ben Tameifuna — less “tighthead prop” and more “small tectonic plate” — while Maxime Lucu continues to prove that if a certain Antoine Dupont didn’t exist, he might genuinely have a case as the best halfback on the planet right now.

Back home, the Chiefs and Crusaders gave us an absolute belter, and annoyingly… those pesky Crusaders are starting to look properly dangerous again. The Force’s finals dream is over, the Reds did enough to sneak through, and thankfully our Blues avoided embarrassment by employing the elite tactical strategy known as “having the bye.”

We cover every Super Rugby game, throw in a dangerous amount of nonsense chat, and somehow end up talking ourselves into several terrible opinions along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy.

Audio warning from the lads this week: the first 10 minutes are a bit cooked. We had some mic issues, so poor old Mark is a little quiet while we ramble about books, TV shows, random nonsense and even break into a strange little song at one point. It’s still listenable, but if you’re not interested in hearing two idiots talk absolute rubbish before the rugby starts, you can safely skip ahead without missing much.

Once we actually get to rugby, the big topic this week is the South African URC sides reportedly considering pulling out of the Champions Cup. Is the travel just too brutal? Are the players being run into the ground with basically year-round rugby? Are the South African teams really adding enough to justify the chaos? And are fans actually invested in it? We dive into all of it.

Back home, we break down another massive weekend of Super Rugby, including the Blues putting in an absolutely grim performance against the Hurricanes. Genuine dogs balls stuff. The Canes, meanwhile, just keep rolling from strength to strength.

We also cover a couple of brutal injuries from the weekend. Damian McKenzie copped a nasty head knock that’ll likely sideline him for a few weeks, while poor old Tangi Tao suffered a season-ending injury at the worst possible time after pushing hard into All Blacks contention. Proper heartbreaking luck for the bloke. As always, there are tangents, nonsense, overreactions, probably a few terrible takes and a couple of beers along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy

Blockbuster semi-final weekend in the European Rugby Champions Cup, and things got spicy.

Leinster Rugby nearly pulled off an all-time choke job but somehow held on in a proper squeaky-bum finish—thanks in no small part to the unlikely Irish saviour Rieko Ioane, who shut the gate on a last-gasp attack that would’ve sent Dublin into meltdown.

Over in the other semi, Union Bordeaux Bègles got the job done against Bath Rugby in a cracking contest… though you’d be forgiven for missing parts of it while Andy Goode carried on like the ref had personally wronged him. Maybe he had a point—but mate, we get it.

Back home, Super Rugby Pacific rolls on:

• The Hurricanes keep humming, with Ruben Love making a serious case as the next All Blacks 10 👀
• The Crusaders… still lurking. Doubt them at your own risk
• The Blues got it done after a shaky start against Moana Pasifika
• The Highlanders and Fijian Drua battled to a sweaty stalemate
• The Western Force are making a cheeky late push after knocking off the Waratahs
• And the Reds piled more misery on the sliding Brumbies

All that… plus a generous serving of absolute nonsense.

Grab a beer and enjoy 🍺

Super Round heads to the brand-new Te Kaha Stadium in Christchurch… and what a way to christen it. A full weekend of footy, packed stands, cracking atmosphere, and a proper festival feel — the kind of rugby showcase Super Rugby dreams about. The stadium? Unreal. The crowds? Even better. The results? Well… depends which side of the Tasman you’re sitting on.

The Kiwi teams absolutely ran the table. The Crusaders kicked things off by beating Waratahs, sending the Christchurch faithful home very happy in game one. The Blues nearly gave their fans heart failure but somehow scraped past the Queensland Reds in full squeaky-bum, extra-time chaos — thanks in part to a late penalty from Fraser McReight that went the wrong way.

The Highlanders got the job done over Moana Pasifika, while the Chiefs handled the Fijian Drua. And the Hurricanes? Fehi Fineanganofo, WHAT A FREAK, too bad he's going to Newxastle. All in all — an absolute belter of a weekend, unless you’re Australian… in which case, maybe skip this one. We crack a couple of beers, break down the action, butcher a few names, and talk a healthy amount of nonsense along the way.

Grab a beer and enjoy

We’re back… and it’s a weird one.

After a month off while Tony went and did the whole “get married and eat his bodyweight in Thailand” thing, Two Cents Gets Distracted returns — slightly heavier, slightly rustier, and walking straight into some genuinely grim news.

This week, we unpack the potential demise of Moana Pasifika. What does it mean for Pacific rugby — a region that has given the game so much talent, passion, and identity? And more importantly… what now? Is there a real path forward, or are we watching another crack form in the already shaky foundations of Super Rugby?

Which leads us to the bigger question — what even is the future of Super Rugby? Is this still a competition built to last, or are we quietly edging toward the slow fade of what was once the pinnacle of provincial rugby?

Not all doom and gloom though — because the footy absolutely delivered.

We had a proper top-of-the-table belter between the Chiefs and the Hurricanes, the Blues nearly pulled off the all-time choke in a game they had no business losing, and the Force did the unthinkable by knocking over the Crusaders (which, let’s be honest, brings a smile to most faces).

All that, plus the usual nonsense, tangents, and questionable takes.

We’re back. Grab a beer and enjoy.