In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, I share what it means to decenter men in your love life—without rejecting relationships or connection. I help you unpack how centering your own identity, needs, and autonomy fosters healthier relationships, what ethical dating looks like in practice, and how to dismantle traditional gender expectations that leave women carrying emotional labor. Featuring research-backed insights from psychology and feminist theory, this episode gives tools for dating consciously, compassionately, and with full self-respect.

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Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

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• Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Smollan, D. (1997). Inclusion of Other in Self Scale and the structure of interpersonal closeness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life. Zondervan.
• DePaulo, B. (2014). How We Live Now: Adult Friendship and the New Workplace. Harvard University Press.
• Hochschild, A. R., & Machung, A. (1989). The Second Shift. Penguin Books.
• Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2010). Fighting for Your Marriage. Jossey-Bass.
• Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. Guilford Press.
• Miller, J. B. (1976). Toward a New Psychology of Women. Beacon Press.
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters/202602/how-to-decenter-men-and-still-date

*Trigger Warning* This episode contains topics of grooming, sexual assault, and sexual predators. This episode does not contain details of events regarding sexual assault.

RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline

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To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

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https://www.cbsnews.com/news/les-wexner-jeffrey-epstein-house-testimony/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/billionaire-les-wexner-is-being-deposed-in-the-epstein-files-probe-heres-what-documents-show-about-their-relationship

https://www.wosu.org/politics-government/2026-02-10/epstein-files-name-les-wexner-as-co-conspirator-in-2019-sex-trafficking-investigation

In this episode, we explore sexual desire types — spontaneous, responsive, contextual, and emotional — and how they differ from person to person. Learn how practicing sexual mindfulness, based on guidance from therapists and psychologists, can help you better understand and empower your own desire. Includes a practical mindfulness exercise and expert insights to deepen your connection with your body and desires.

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Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com

To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

Theme music by MobyGratis

• Basson, R. (2000). The female sexual response: A different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
• Lehmiller, J. (2020). Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.
• Brotto, L. A. (2010). Mindfulness and Sexuality. In the Journal of Sex Research.
• Perel, E. (2017). State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity.
• https://www.verywellmind.com/sexual-desire-style-8738832
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/202110/the-sexual-and-relationship-benefits-sexual-mindfulness?msockid=0ab36736728869e0030b71d173e6682b
• https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/living-well/mind-over-matter-practicing-sexual-mindfulness/
• https://psychcentral.com/health/mindfulness-meditation-sexual-health

In this episode of the Modern MILF Podcast, we explore why “mean girl” behavior — technically known as relational aggression — persists into middle age, what psychology research says about its roots, and how to break the cycle. We talk about real reasons behind these behaviors, how they affect both targets and perpetrators, and offer practical tips for avoiding mean-spirited behavior and responding to it in healthier ways. Whether you’re dealing with workplace cliques, social circle tension, or family drama, this episode gives you the insight and tools to rise above the drama and build more supportive relationships.

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To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

Theme music by MobyGratis

1. Alison M. Poor – Predictors of Relational Aggression in Women Across Adulthood (2023) — relational aggression persists across adult lifespan and is influenced by hostility and rumination. https://aquila.usm.edu/dissertations/2037/?
2. Relational aggression and marital quality: A longitudinal study — evidence relational aggression appears in adult relationships. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28054802/
3. Cognitive control moderates relational aggression in adults — aggression patterns and cognitive factors. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886923001903
4. Social impact of relational aggression on adult mental health — links between adulthood relational aggression and anxiety, depression. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-025-08147-6?
5. Blog overview of adult mean girl psychology — social standing, control, and behaviors in workplaces and social circles. https://josiesjournal.com/the-psychology-of-adult-mean-girls/?
6. Effects of relational aggression in adolescence on emotional development — background on long-term psychological impacts. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/why-are-teenage-girls-so-mean/?
7. Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega

For centuries, women’s emotions were blamed on their bodies—specifically, their uteruses. In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, we unpack the disturbing and fascinating history behind the term “hysteria” and its connection to hysterectomy surgery.

From ancient Greek medical theories of a “wandering womb” to 19th- and early 20th-century practices that medicalized women’s emotional distress, this episode explores how female behavior, pain, and mental health were historically misunderstood—and in some cases, surgically “treated.”

Using historical medical documentation and published research by medical professionals, we examine how hysteria became a catch-all diagnosis for women, how hysterectomy was once promoted as a cure for emotional and psychological symptoms, and how modern medicine has since reckoned with these deeply biased foundations.

This episode is a reminder of how language, power, and medicine intersect—and why understanding this history still matters for women’s healthcare, autonomy, and advocacy today.

🎧 If you’ve ever been told you’re “too emotional,” this one’s for you.

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Contact me! lovewithbethany@gmail.com

To access my Coaching Course on Rejection, free PDF downloads, or to schedule a coaching call with me, go to: LinkTree

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

Theme music by MobyGratis

1. The Secret Malady: Women, Men, and Hysteria in Victorian England — Joan Busfield, Routledge, 1996.
2. Hysteria: The Disturbing History — Andrew Scull, Oxford University Press, 2011.
3. “Hysteria and its Histories” — Ed. Claire Hooker, Elizabeth A. Wilson, History of the Human Sciences, 1998.
4. Gynecology and Hysterectomy: A Historical Review — Journal of Medical Biography, 2013.
5. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) changes around conversion and somatic symptoms — American Psychiatric Association.
6. From Witchcraft to Hysterectomy: The Medicalization of Women’s Bodies — Women & Health Journal, 2018.

In this episode of The Modern MILF Podcast, we dive into a rarely discussed — but critically important — conversation: the impact of being a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home wife on a woman’s individuality, identity, and long-term financial security.

While staying home can be a loving and intentional choice, research shows it can also come with hidden psychological, emotional, and economic risks that many women aren’t warned about beforehand.

Using research-backed data from psychologists, economists, and sociologists, along with real lived experiences from women, this episode explores what happens when women step away from paid work — and how that decision can affect self-worth, independence, and financial safety over time.

This episode is not about judgment. It’s about informed choice, empowerment, and autonomy.

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IG: @modernmilfpodcast

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email: lovewithbethany@gmail.com

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

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Sources & References Cited in This Episode

• Gallup Emotions by Parental Employment Status Findings show stay-at-home mothers report higher levels of sadness, depression, and anger compared to working mothers.

• American Psychological Association (APA) Research on identity loss, role engulfment, and mental health challenges related to caregiving and social isolation in women.

• Sociologist Arlie Hochschild, PhD The Second Shift Foundational research on unpaid labor, emotional labor, and identity strain among women in domestic roles.

• U.S. Dept. of Labor Blog https://blog.dol.gov/2024/05/06/mothers-employment-has-surpassed-pre-pandemic-levels-but-the-child-care-crisis-persists
• The Power Pause, Neha Ruch
• ABC News https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/working-moms-affected-return-office-policies-expert/story?id=124613629
• https://hpod.law.harvard.edu/news/entry/changing-US-disability-policy

• Pew Research Center 7 Key Findings About Stay-At-Home Moms Reports that approximately 34% of stay-at-home mothers live in poverty, compared to about 12% of working mothers.

• Forbes The Economic Value of Stay-At-Home Parents Estimates unpaid domestic and caregiving labor at $4,000–$5,000 per month.

• Institute for Women’s Policy Research (IWPR) Research on lifetime earnings loss, retirement insecurity, and wage penalties associated with caregiving career interruptions.

• U.S. Social Security Administration Data showing women who leave the workforce earn significantly lower Social Security benefits due to fewer earning years and lower lifetime wages.

• Forbes / Kim Elsesser, PhD Majority of Stay-At-Home Moms Face Bias When Returning to Work Found over 70% of stay-at-home mothers experience or anticipate workplace bias when re-entering employment.

• Harvard Business Review Research on employment gaps, résumé stigma, and employer bias against caregivers.

• Reddit Communities r/StayAtHomeMoms r/AskWomenOver30 First-person accounts reflecting identity loss, financial dependence, and emotional struggles.

• Business Insider Interviews with women reflecting on long-term financial consequences of staying out of the workforce due to caregiving.

• Dr. Julie Holland, MD Psychiatrist and author on autonomy, identity, and mental health in women.

• Dr. Alexandra Solomon, PhD Clinical psychologist specializing in relational power dynamics, identity loss, and emotional labor in marriage.

Additional Optional Reading:

• Friedan, Betty — The Feminine Mystique

• Criado Perez, Caroline — Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men

• Slaughter, Anne-Marie — Why Women Still Can’t Have It All

Red flags in relationships aren’t always dramatic or obvious — many are subtle patterns that quietly erode emotional safety, trust, and intimacy. In this episode, we explore how to recognize red flags not only in romantic partners, but also within ourselves.

Grounded in research from licensed psychologists, relationship therapists, and attachment theory experts, this conversation helps you identify unhealthy dynamics, understand why we sometimes ignore warning signs, and build the self-awareness needed for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Whether you’re dating, partnered, or reflecting on past relationships, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and practical tools for emotional growth.

• What therapists mean when they talk about “red flags”

• Common emotional and behavioral warning signs in intimate relationships

• Why people often ignore or rationalize red flags

• How attachment styles influence what we tolerate

• Red flags we may unknowingly carry ourselves

• How self-awareness leads to healthier relational choices

• When to communicate concerns — and when to walk away

• Why noticing red flags is an act of self-respect, not judgment

Recognizing red flags isn’t about being hyper-vigilant or critical — it’s about honoring your emotional safety, strengthening self-trust, and choosing relationships that align with your values.

• What behaviors consistently leave me feeling anxious, small, or unseen?

• Do I honor my boundaries — or abandon them to keep connection?

• Am I reacting from old wounds or responding from emotional maturity?

• What patterns show up across my relationships?

This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy or mental health treatment.

• Kirsten Karl, LMFT
• Cleveland Clinic
• Self Drive Psychology
• Forbes
• Therapy Tips

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Connect with me!

IG: @modernmilfpodcast

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LinkTree: @modernmilfpodcast

email: lovewithbethany@gmail.com

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

Theme music by MobyGratis

If you’re dating in midlife and feeling emotionally exhausted by dating apps, this episode is for you.

Swiping fatigue. Shallow conversations. Matches that go nowhere. For many women dating after 40, online dating doesn’t feel hopeful anymore — it feels draining.

In this episode, we unpack why dating apps create burnout, what the research actually says about online dating satisfaction, and how to shift into dating with intention instead of exhaustion, urgency, or self-doubt.

This conversation is grounded in psychology, relationship research, and real-life midlife dating experiences — and it’s designed to help you protect your energy, regain clarity, and date in a way that feels aligned with who you are now.

• Pew Research Center — Online Dating & Relationship Trends

• Forbes Health — Dating App Fatigue Studies (https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-app-fatigue/)

• Date Club (https://dateclub.org/dating/dating-app-fatigue-affects-67-of-users-three-proven-strategies-for-authentic-relationships/)

• Psychological research on dopamine, attachment, and modern dating behaviors

• Gottman Institute studies on relationship satisfaction

• Dr. Stan Tatkin (PACT) — secure functioning in relationships

Credits: Writing, recording, and editing by me, Bethany

music by Mobygratis

Sponsor: BADFOXXX Lust Between Us Couples Card Game, use the link below: https://lustbetweenus.com/modernmilf

Connect with me!

IG: @modernmilfpodcast

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LinkTree: @modernmilfpodcast

email: lovewithbethany@gmail.com