In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, guest Kate, a former juvenile court attorney, shares her journey as a foster and adoptive mother of six. She discusses the challenges and rewards of transracial adoption, the importance of openness and communication, and the realities of parenting children with trauma. Kate also highlights the value of support networks and introduces her children’s books designed to help foster kids understand their experiences. Her candid insights offer guidance and encouragement to current and prospective foster families.

“We feel very strongly that if you're going to adopt transracial, you need to make sure you live in a diverse community. That your religious home is diverse, that your friends are diverse.” — Kate

What You Will Learn:

• Personal and professional journey into foster care and adoption
• Family dynamics involving biological, adopted, and foster children
• Experiences with transracial adoption and its challenges
• Importance of openness in adoption and maintaining connections with birth families
• Navigating identity and relationships within a transracial family
• The impact of trauma on children and parenting strategies
• The significance of sibling relationships and support in blended families
• Resources created to assist children in foster care with understanding their experiences
• Emotional complexities of fostering, including the bittersweet nature of reunification
• The necessity of community and support systems for foster parents

Timestamps:

• Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)
• Meet Kate: Professional Background & Family Overview (00:00:27)
• Adoption and Early Parenting Experiences (00:01:20)
• Transition to Fostering (00:02:22)
• Parenting as an Older Parent: Pros and Cons (00:03:36)
• Surprises in Parenting, Adoption, and Bonding (00:05:22)
• Sibling Dynamics and Family Evolution (00:07:35)
• Transracial Adoption: Family Makeup & Community (00:10:01)
• Parenting Transracially: Community, Racism, and Support (00:11:02)
• Handling Public Comments and Teaching Kids to Respond (00:16:14)
• Children’s Perspectives on Adoption and Openness (00:20:01)
• Open Adoption and Maintaining Birth Family Relationships (00:22:04)
• Navigating Emotions in Open Adoption (00:23:24)
• Family Communication and Openness (00:26:05)
• Fostering Sibling Bonds and Family Unity (00:27:21)
• Managing Trauma and Parenting Foster Children (00:30:46)
• Apologizing and Repair in Parenting (00:34:04)
• Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids (00:36:15)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (00:40:27)
• Episode Wrap-Up and Resources (00:42:27)

Learn more about Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids through her website.

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of "In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered," Lauren and Joe, high school sweethearts from Connecticut, share their four-year journey as foster and adoptive parents. They discuss their motivations, the challenges of navigating agency support, relationships with biological families, and the impact on their own daughter. The couple highlights the importance of community, advocacy, and self-care, offering candid insights into the realities of fostering. Their story emphasizes the rewards of providing stability and love to children in need, and offers practical advice for those considering foster care or adoption.

“We have so much love to give. Why not give it to the others that need it?” —Joe

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences and challenges of foster care and adoption
• Motivations for fostering and the desire to help children in need
• Importance of choosing the right agency and support systems
• Navigating relationships with biological families and shared parenting dynamics
• The transition from respite care to long-term placements
• Managing the emotional and behavioral needs of foster children
• The significance of consistency, structure, and boundaries in foster parenting
• The impact of fostering on biological children and family dynamics
• Advocacy for foster children's needs in educational and medical settings
• The importance of self-care and community support for foster parents

Timestamps:

• Introduction to the Podcast (00:00)
• Meet Lauren and Joe: Their Background and Motivation (00:54)
• Starting the Foster Care Journey (02:04)
• First Experiences: Respite Placements and COVID-19 (04:01)
• Transition to Long-Term Placements and Adoption (05:28)
• Learning Curves: Developmental Differences and Trauma (07:02)
• Adjusting to Older Children and Sibling Dynamics (08:35)
• Shared Parenting and Relationships with Biological Families (12:44)
• Patience and Navigating the System (13:42)
• Paperwork and Administrative Challenges (15:59)
• Support Systems: Family, Community, and Agencies (18:26)
• Motivations and Reflections on Helping Children (21:03)
• Agency Support and Community Resources (23:15)
• Shared Parenting: Highs, Lows, and Best Practices (24:14)
• Advocacy and Standing Up for Foster Children (30:17)
• Consistency, Boundaries, and Parenting Approaches (33:05)
• Blended Family and Maintaining Connections (35:11)
• Taking Breaks and Self-Care (36:41)
• Most Rewarding Moments and Reflections (37:29)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (42:45)
• Knowing Your Limits and Setting Expectations (44:02)
• Building Your Village and Navigating Foster Care Terminology (48:07)
• Closing and Final Thoughts (48:44) Final thanks, encouragement, and information for listeners interested in foster care.

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

What does it really mean to raise children who don’t look like you? In this honest episode, host Shannon talks with foster and adoptive parents Ashley, Jeff, and Tori about the realities of transracial foster care and adoption — the joy, challenges, microaggressions, and responsibility of parenting across racial lines.

The families share how race became part of their foster care journey, the growth and advocacy required, and the hard conversations many parents aren’t prepared for. From public scrutiny and intrusive questions to hair care, school bias, safety concerns, and the myth of being “colorblind,” this episode gives voice to what transracial foster and adoptive parents often experience but rarely hear said out loud.

“When we were adopting our son, a social worker asked us, ‘Are you ready to raise this boy as a Black man?’ At the time, my white wife and I thought that was the dumbest question ever. We thought, ‘Why would you say that? Why not just raise him as a man?’ That was the mindset I had been surrounded by my entire life. And I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t believe that was a stupid question.” -Jeff

What You Will Learn:

• Why love alone isn’t enough in transracial foster care and adoption
• What parents wish they had known before saying yes
• How microaggressions show up in everyday life and how kids absorb them
• The emotional weight of advocating for your child in public spaces and school
• Why representation, community, and cultural humility matter
• How to prepare your child for conversations about race and identity
• The difference between good intentions and informed parenting

Timestamps:

00:00 – Transracial foster care overview
00:27 – Guests introduction
01:18 – Transracial family makeup
04:19 – Choosing transracial foster care
14:21 – Preparing for transracial parenting
19:32 – Challenges in transracial foster care
29:26 – Microaggressions & public reactions
34:31 – Microaggressions explained
40:15 – Encouraging community moment
43:33 – Resources for transracial families
53:26 – Advice for foster parents
01:02:38 – Final thoughts on foster care
01:03:10 – Podcast outro

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.

“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences of foster families in North Carolina
• The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering
• The process of becoming licensed foster parents
• Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family
• Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
• Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families
• Support systems and resources available for foster families
• The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family
• The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships
• Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose
• 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family
• 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change
• 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act
• 07:52 – Welcoming their first placement
• 09:49 – Reuniting siblings
• 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges
• 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family
• 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments
• 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time
• 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework
• 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom
• 24:38 – Adoption finalization
• 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption
• 28:27 – Talking with biological children
• 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions
• 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice
• 32:47 – Support systems and community help
• 36:20 – Creating comfort and security
• 37:33 – Building trust and attachment
• 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents
• 44:37 – The need for more foster homes
• 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption
• 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Shannon chats with Tara, a foster parent with 25 years’ experience. Tara shares her journey into fostering, her focus on supporting teenagers, and the importance of building a strong community and collaborating with birth families. She reflects on the challenges, joys, and personal growth that come with fostering, offering encouragement and practical advice for prospective foster parents. The episode highlights the lasting impact of providing stability, love, and support for youth in foster care, especially those often overlooked.

“If I have an empty room in my house and there’s a child sleeping on an air mattress at social services, that hits me hard.” - Tara

What You Will Learn:

• Personal motivations for fostering and the influence of early life experiences.
• The importance of having a stable, caring adult in a child's life.
• Challenges and misconceptions surrounding fostering teenagers.
• The evolving nature of parenting and the need for adaptability.
• Maintaining relationships with foster children after they leave the home.
• The challenges faced by youth aging out of foster care.
• The significance of community support and shared parenting.
• The role of biological families in the fostering process.
• Celebrating small victories and individual growth in foster children.
• Encouragement for prospective foster parents to take the leap and the urgent need for foster homes.

Timestamps:

• Intro & Podcast Purpose (0:00)
• Meet Tara, Foster Parent (0:27)
• Why Tara Started Fostering (1:03)
• Fostering Teens: Joys & Lessons (2:13)
• Myths About Fostering Teenagers (5:16)
• Parenting with Grace & Flexibility (6:00)
• Staying Connected After Care (7:39)
• Supporting Youth Who Age Out (9:19)
• 25 Years of Fostering: Biggest Lessons (11:02)
• Youth Growth & Success Stories (14:16)
• Foster Care Needs in NC (15:39)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (15:59)
• Building a Support System (18:55)
• Shared Parenting & Birth Families (22:27)
• What Keeps Tara Fostering (24:44)
• Celebrating Milestones (27:29)
• Final Advice & Encouragement (28:21)
• Closing & How to Get Involved (30:22)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

Foster and adoptive mom Tracey shares the real story behind foster care — love, loss, reunification, and the courage to say “yes” again. She talks about navigating reunification, the realities of transracial adoption, supporting children’s identity, and building relationships with birth families. Tracey’s honesty reveals both the heartbreak and the deep rewards of fostering, offering encouragement to anyone considering foster care or adoption.

"There’s no perfect answer for why we keep fostering. We just have this need to open our home and love in every way we can. It’s worth every tear, every late night, every heartbreak. I’d do it over and over again because we love being parents and showing a child that someone can love them unconditionally, just because." -Tracey

What You Will Learn:

• Tracey’s foster care and adoption journey since 2016.
• Emotional challenges of fostering, including reunification.
• Effects of fostering on family dynamics across races and backgrounds.
• Importance of openness about birth origins and identity.
• Practical aspects of transracial adoption, like hair care and culture.
• Emotional difficulty of goodbyes and maintaining birth-family ties.
• Essential role of support systems and community.
• Strong protective instincts and focus on children’s well-being.
• Rewards of fostering, including children’s growth and transformation.
• Encouragement for future foster/adoptive parents, highlighting love and commitment.

Timestamps:

• Intro (0:00)
• Tracey’s Background (0:27)
• Choosing to Foster (1:06)
• First Placement & Reunification (3:17)
• Coping with Loss (4:40)
• Why Continue Fostering (7:27)
• Impact on Kids & Families (10:24)
• Family Growth (12:08)
• Community Support (15:40)
• CHS Call to Action (18:36)
• Most Rewarding Moments (18:56)
• Adoption Questions (21:17)
• Transracial Adoption (25:34)
• Fears & Challenges (28:13)
• Support Systems (33:36)
• Final Encouragement (36:41)
• Closing & Resources (38:59)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of "In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered," leaders from Children’s Home Society of North Carolina discuss the urgent need for foster families, the realities faced by children in foster care, and common misconceptions about fostering.

They highlight the shortage of foster homes, the importance of keeping siblings together and children in their communities, and the support offered to foster parents. The team shares success stories and encourages listeners to consider fostering or supporting children in care, emphasizing that anyone can make a meaningful difference in a child’s life.

“What really gets me is thinking about that child sitting there, listening to DSS call families and hearing families say ‘no, no, no.’ Just thinking of the trauma that continues to inflict on them is really sad.” Jeremy Wagner

What You Will Learn:

• Current state of foster care in North Carolina
• Decrease in the number of licensed foster families post-COVID-19
• Urgent need for foster families to accommodate over 11,000 children in care
• Challenges faced by children entering foster care, including trauma and instability
• Importance of keeping sibling groups together in foster placements
• Need for children to remain in or near their home communities for stability
• Common misconceptions about foster care and birth families
• Qualities needed to be a successful foster parent
• Support and training provided to foster families by organizations
• Success stories and positive impacts of fostering on children’s lives

Timestamps:

00:27 – Introductions
02:29 – State of Foster Care in NC
04:41 – Children Sleeping in DSS Offices
07:12 – Who Are the Children?
08:47 – Sibling Groups & Placement
12:08 – Keeping Kids in Community
13:36 – Why Children Enter Care
15:31 – Misconceptions
18:09 – Youth Resilience
20:26 – Urgent & After-Hours Needs
23:00 – Recruitment & Support
24:56 – Training & Ongoing Support
29:01 – One-on-One Family Education
30:00 – Rewards & Success Stories
34:27 – How to Help
37:18 – Final Thoughts
38:45 – Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Theresa shares her personal journey into foster care, inspired by her father’s experience. As a single mom, she discusses the challenges and rewards of fostering, the importance of preparation and support, and how she involves her teenage son in the process. Theresa also highlights the emotional complexities of reunification and the value of community and advocacy, offering encouragement and practical advice for current and prospective foster families.

“In the beginning, it was hard, really hard, and I almost gave up. But I'm glad I took the risk. I jumped in with both feet, and this was the right thing for me. You're never going to be 100% ready, so stop with that; if this is your calling, do it, and be okay with the unexpected. I learned that it was okay to ask for help and to lean on others as a network.” – Theresa

What You Will Learn:

• Personal journey of becoming a licensed foster parent
• Connection to foster care through family history
• Initial experiences and challenges of first placements
• Importance of preparation and adaptability in fostering
• Misconceptions about love being sufficient in foster care
• Role of support, education, and advocacy in fostering
• Involvement of existing family members in the fostering process
• Transition from traditional to therapeutic foster parenting
• Emotional complexities of the reunification process
• Value of support networks and community in foster care

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction

00:00:28 – Meet Teresa

00:05:02 – Early Influences

00:06:45 – First Placement

00:10:12 – Training & Preparation

00:11:59 – Facing the Unknowns

00:13:51 – Family & Support Systems

00:16:56 – CHS Message

00:17:16 – Preparing Biological Children

00:20:01 – Transition to Therapeutic Care

00:22:44 – Coping Through Creativity

00:24:02 – Reunification & Shared Parenting

00:28:02 – Emotional Growth

00:29:10 – Hopes for Her Foster Child

00:32:04 – Teamwork & Resources

00:33:16 – Asking for Help

00:36:13 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents

00:37:09 – Wrap-Up

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc