In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.

“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences of foster families in North Carolina
• The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering
• The process of becoming licensed foster parents
• Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family
• Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
• Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families
• Support systems and resources available for foster families
• The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family
• The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships
• Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose
• 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family
• 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change
• 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act
• 07:52 – Welcoming their first placement
• 09:49 – Reuniting siblings
• 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges
• 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family
• 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments
• 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time
• 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework
• 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom
• 24:38 – Adoption finalization
• 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption
• 28:27 – Talking with biological children
• 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions
• 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice
• 32:47 – Support systems and community help
• 36:20 – Creating comfort and security
• 37:33 – Building trust and attachment
• 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents
• 44:37 – The need for more foster homes
• 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption
• 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc