For such a long time, I prefaced many of my blog posts with "trigger warnings." Once I read, "learning is painful. It’s often ugly and traumatic." I believe this to be true and cannot deny that it makes sense to me. Please refrain from listening in the presence of young children.

What you are about to hear is not a sanitized story. To truly understand what happened to me, I must share the parts that are unsettling and raw. This isn't for shock value; it's to honor the truth. I am telling this story for those who need to hear it—for those who may find echoes of their own experiences in the darkness, and for those who need to understand the realities of domestic violence. I will revisit the most challenging moments because they are central to the larger questions: How did this happen? How was he never punished? I may not have all the answers, but I have my memory, and I will share it without flinching.

Before we continue, I need you to know that this episode was recorded in one take. It had to be. My podcast is a homegrown effort, and any tremor you hear in my voice is the echo of this story.

I ask you, if you are able, to walk this path with me. Start with the trailer for This Authentic Life, and then let us bear witness together—for all who have faced the harsh realities of abuse. The story will become harder to hear before it gets easier, but I promise that where it leads is a place of profound hope, with a message that could make all the difference to you or someone you care about.

The Burden of a Mask

I have long carried a crushing burden of pain, a weight that trapped me in silence. My life has been a struggle behind a mask, a facade to navigate a world that never knew me. This disconnect has been a lonely battle of unbearable hardship. Now, as my physical health declines, I am in a new fight. In battling for my body, I will win the war for my soul by finally speaking the truth. It is time the world knows my real journey, not the media's distorted version. I will break free, incinerate the mask, and reveal my authentic self without fear.

To the Architects of a False Narrative

To The Geraldo Show, This American Life, A Current Affair, Trial Watch, The AP, UPI, and the countless publications that built a story around me, I say this: Try to stop me now. You built careers by ignoring the truth, exploiting innocent victims to further your agendas. My life was one of many you sacrificed for a headline. You told a story you claimed was mine, yet never listened. You didn’t care. You were wrong then, and you are wrong now for letting those lies stand uncorrected. As the public loses faith in you for choosing agendas over facts, I will tell my side of the story. This time, no one can stop me.

To the Betrayers of Justice: To the prosecutors, the attention-seeking lieutenant, and the FBI agent: Your ambition led you astray.

To the Attorney General who lied on the courthouse steps:

You claimed my involvement in a scheme began in 1965. I was born in 1963. You claimed I recruited people in 1974, at age 11—a decade before I even met the man at the center of it all. To the media who couldn't do simple math: you chose to harm an innocent person. I pity you for the damage you caused by choosing lies over evidence. The truth matters.

To the Assistant U.S. Attorneys who protected villains to build a case:

You ignored the evil man actively harming me, focusing only on the crime you knew you could prosecute while he damaged me for life. Lock me up again. It doesn’t matter. The truth will prevail. I am no longer afraid of you, your cells, or your threats—which I now see were just attempts to control me and hide your corruption.

To the Federal Judge: You saw my terror. You allowed me to be represented by the exact attorney as the man who controlled me. When I collapsed, screaming, you called it a "tantrum." It was a desperate plea for help. You sealed my mental health records—records that proved the trauma I’d endured since infancy, resulting in PTSD and dissociative disorders. Hiding them allowed my suffering to deepen in a nightmarish place I'll never forget. I forgive you, but your inaction had horrific consequences.

I am now ready to share. My Voice, The Truth. Only one person knows the complete story. The media never wanted it; they wanted the false narrative that sells. Innocent victims have died without an apology or the truth being revealed—good people whose hearts you trampled. I have never asked for a penny for my story. I am not for sale. My truth has no price. This is for every victim, so they know they can become a warrior. Through faith, I have found my strength. I know we can ride the waves of pain and emerge stronger, find our voices, and shout the truth.

In an era before social media, the danger of oversharing was just as potent. It's a risk young people take when they're isolated, a risk I took nearly forty years ago. In the painful, confusing vacuum of the 1980s, I had no one: no confidante, no guide to help me understand what was wrong with me.

Through this episode of This Authentic Life, you'll see a predatory pattern emerge.

The man I met that day targeted my loneliness. He was kind, or skillfully pretended to be, and immediately cultivated a fierce sense of trust. But that connection was a trap. He began to systematically dismantle my self-worth, twisting my achievements until I believed they were impossible without him. I bought the lie: I was articulate, I was smart, I would "knock it out of the park" on a contract, but only because he believed in me, only because he made me stronger.

I believed he understood me. I thought he saved me. I gave him credit for every success.

The terrifying truth? He groomed me, precisely according to his design. That initial encounter was not a coincidence; it was the moment I walked into the presence of pure evil.