Cogito Ergo Nope

Finally, a philosophy book that doesn't take itself as seriously as the theorists it eviscerates! Nothing Means Anything mercilessly skewers postmodernism's most pretentious thinkers with savage wit and zero academic mercy.

Finally, an academic roast that's more entertaining than a faculty meeting where someone brought donuts! "From Bad to Worse" mercilessly skewers the most pretentious philosophical movements of the 20th century with savage wit and zero academic mercy. Journey through the incomprehensible world of structuralism and post-structuralism, where French intellectuals transformed simple ideas into impenetrable word salads while chain-smoking and looking disappointed with everyone.

Ever wondered what would happen if someone explained existentialism without the pretentious jargon, cigarette smoke, and unbearable French ennui? Wonder no more! Existence Is Pointless (And So Is This Book) delivers all the existential dread with none of the academic torture.

Before there was "Chicken Soup for the Soul" or "The Secret," there was a condemned Roman aristocrat writing philosophy by candlelight while awaiting execution. Meet Boethius: Rome's most overachieving nerd who went from Senate superstar to death row philosopher faster than you can say "political conspiracy."

Meet history's original keyboard warrior—except with quills, imprisonment, and better one-liners. In "Voltaire's Mic Drop," Sophia Blackwell delivers a hilarious and irreverent guide to François-Marie Arouet (aka Voltaire), the 18th-century French philosopher who trolled kings, priests, and fellow intellectuals with such devastating wit that he had to flee across national borders multiple times to avoid imprisonment.

Whether you're a philosophy enthusiast with a sense of humor or someone who's tired of being told your emotions are "irrational judgments," Stoic This delivers ancient wisdom with modern wit and just the right amount of mockery.

This isn't your philosophy professor's translation. This is Marcus Aurelius like you've never seen him before—unfiltered, unhinged, and absolutely roasted. Our translator strips away all the reverent nonsense to reveal what the Emperor was REALLY saying.

In God's Wager: Pascal's Existential Gambling Problem, Sophia Blackwell delivers a hilarious and irreverent guide to Blaise Pascal, the 17th-century mathematician who invented probability theory, had a religious meltdown, and decided the smartest approach to God was to treat faith like a betting strategy.

In "Atlas Struggled," Sophia Blackwell delivers a hilarious and scathing takedown of Ayn Rand, the failed screenwriter who somehow convinced generations of insecure men that being selfish isn't just acceptable—it's the highest moral virtue. With her signature blend of merciless mockery and genuine insight, Blackwell dissects Rand's life and philosophy, revealing how a Russian immigrant with a persecution complex created a "philosophical" system that's really just elaborate justification for being terrible to other people.

In Plotinus Shredded, we tear through his Neoplatonic fever dream. The One? A vague cosmic buzzword that explains nothing. Emanations? A divine PowerPoint presentation gone horribly wrong. The Nous? His intellectual VIP club for thoughts too snooty for reality. The Soul? His whiny excuse to hate fun. Matter? The poor physical world he treats like a cosmic landfill. And don’t get us started on his contemplation obsession—navel-gazing dressed up as enlightenment.

Are you tired of pretending to understand philosophers who write like they're being paid per syllable of confusion? This book is your revenge. In 50 Philosophers You’ll Regret Reading, author Sophia Blackwell takes a sledgehammer to the ivory tower with biting wit, dark humor, and no patience for footnote fetishism. From the cosmic gibberish of Parmenides to Derrida’s textual striptease, this is the ultimate roast of Western philosophy’s most unreadable minds. Kant’s 800-page snoozefest? Ripped to shreds. Nietzsche’s gym-bro metaphysics? Dismantled with flair. Husserl’s bracketed nightmare?

For 2,500 years, Western civilization's brightest minds have been having terrible ideas and convincing everyone else they're profound wisdom. From Plato's reality-denying Forms to postmodernism's truth-denying everything, philosophers have turned the act of being human into a complicated nightmare. This book exposes the nonsense that passes for profound wisdom in philosophy departments worldwide. You'll learn to spot bad ideas before they ruin your worldview, understand why smart people believe stupid things, and discover why that one philosophy major at every party is always so insufferable.