Ergebnis für "James" in Humor

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented.

For more than 150 years I've served the Kingdom of Sena. Through four Kings and a Queen. Two wars and a rebellion. I've founded and taught at a magic school. I've fought against beast waves and dungeon breaks. But now? Now, the one close friend I had left has passed. So, I'm done with their politics and their economics. The short and busy lives of humans are more burden than benefit on the weary soul of this half-elf.

Put on Roborockalypse, turn it all the way up, and rock out to the show that’s like all the futuristic parts of The Terminator, except with way more electric guitar.

Geddy thought his troubles were over when he recovered his ship. But in the blink of an eye, it's snatched away again. The culprits? Probably the notorious Zelnads. With a crew to feed and an empty cargo hold, Geddy's got to think fast. His solution? Enter the galaxy's most infamous high-stakes race. Diving headfirst into uncharted space, Geddy and his ragtag team embark on a potentially lucrative—and definitely dangerous—journey. As they push their limits, Geddy realizes success hinges on more than just piloting skills and quick wits—it requires complete trust.

Fresh from their narrow escape from the Zelnads, Geddy and his motley crew find themselves thrust into the spotlight at the galaxy's most prestigious trade show. Here, a clandestine assembly of the universe's most influential figures convenes to assess the growing Zelnad threat. As unexpected alliances form and potential allies emerge, hope flickers for a much-needed victory against the enigmatic aliens. But the Zelnads, always two steps ahead, unleash their most insidious weapon yet: branding.

Fresh off his promotion by his childhood hero, Geddy's celebration is cut short when he discovers his girlfriend has been kidnapped and his crew has vanished. Talk about a rough first day on the job. As Geddy races against time to rescue his loved ones, he uncovers a sinister plot orchestrated by the seemingly benevolent Zelnads. With civilization hanging in the balance, our wisecracking hero must navigate treacherous alliances, investigate mysterious distress calls, and even infiltrate the galaxy's most popular zoo.

The Alliance dangles by its fingertips over the abyss of oblivion as the Zelnads rev up for their grand finale of destruction. Outgunned, outmaneuvered, and probably out of witty comebacks, our heroes embark on a suicide mission to the oh-so-hospitable planet Kigantu. Their goal? Find the secret sauce to glue a fractured galaxy back together. No pressure.

The Compton Crook Award-winning author weaves her trademark blend of science fiction and dark humor in this dazzling story that continues the imaginative saga begun in Escaping Exodus, in which a society lives in the belly of a beast—and an entire civilization's survival depends on a pair of...

In the fractured galaxy of 2427, disgraced pilot Geddy Starheart thought his biggest problem was retrieving his stolen starship. Little did he know he was about to become entangled in a cosmic conspiracy that threatens all of existence. When Geddy teams up with a motley salvage crew to reclaim his custom-built vessel, he discovers an unexpected passenger: an alien entity called Eli, who reveals the shocking truth about the mysterious Zelnads. These cryptic beings created humankind as a test, and now they're ready to hit the reset button.

New Arcadia is growing. Across the river, the borough of Brookline is now ready for players. That’s where the hottest new nightclub is opening for business - Club Re-LOVE-ution. They spelled it that way on purpose. Blaze and his friends must team up to infiltrate the club and stop the deadly Drug X menace from taking over the city. Standing in their way are Berta and Beata, two German pop superstars who have teamed up with a mysterious benefactor for their big comeback. If Blaze’s team fails, it’s Game Over.

When the planet is being eaten by interdimensional parasites who literally tear holes in reality, what do you do? If you're Charlie Chase, you dive headfirst into an interdimensional adventure. Charlie knows her calling is a weighty one, but she trusts her mentor's orders: Travel to another dimension, fix the tear, and get home to do it all over again.

Captain Quasar is out of time. Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

As the United States sinks into apocalypse, two people fight to preserve life and sanity. One is Nora Burkhart, a schoolteacher who will stop at nothing to save her son. The other is genius sculptor Gerard Korty, who struggles to create a masterwork that will heal the metaphysical wounds of the age. Highlights include a bloody battle on a New Jersey golf course between Jews and anti-Semites, a debate between Martin Luther and Erasmus, and a chilling villain in the personage of Dr. Adrian Lucido - founder of a new pagan church in Mexico and inventor of a cure worse than any disease.

God's just been in a deep-freeze coma in the Arctic. Strapped for cash, the Vatican has sold the body (a bargain at $1.3 billion!) to Baptists in Florida. Enterprising souls that they are, they’ve turned the Corpus Dei into a popular two-mile-long theme-park attraction at Orlando’s Celestial City USA - hooked up to the largest life-support system on earth. Then things get weird....

Centuries have passed since evil Emperor Zhan attacked Earth and sent humankind packing in a mass exodus. Now the human race is scattered throughout the galaxy, and United World Space Command is no more. Captain Bartholomew Quasar and the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude have one purpose: to reunite the descendants of Earth's diaspora and save their planet from the monstrous machines Zhan left behind to ensure Earth's ultimate demise.

Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

They fell from space and were hatched, with an IQ about the same as a two-year-old human. Two colonies left. In the US, Bob Michaels tries to keep an alien family safe. In Australia, its already too late. They have now interbred so much nothing can be changed...or can it? Find the good, the bad, and the ugly of trying to raise an alien family in these troubled times.

They fell from space and were hatched. In three weeks, they were fully grown three-feet-high creatures with an IQ about the same as a two-year-old human. Russia and China decided to attack them. When that didn't go well, they destroyed 500,000 of the beings. In the US, Bob Michaels wanted to try a different way. He simply brought two of them home and tried to communicate with them. He began learning from them, and they learned from him. Hell, he even toilet-trained them.

London, England, 1952. Meet the mercurial genius Professor Quanderhorn (James Fleet) - a maverick scientist with absolutely no moral compass. Join him and his rag-tag crew on their frontal-lobe-knotting escapades as they battle insane hybrid creatures: the Gorrirrel and the Squirrilla, to the death; become gods to a Stone-Age tribe; are engulfed in a Martian invasion of Earth; escape shipwreck on the Moon in a spacecraft powered by anger; and evade multiple fiendish traps in the Alien Ziggurat of Death. Will our crew of Brave Boffins survive?

Bran was one of the first to purchase a full immersion Virtual Reality Pod that he calls the Coffin, but over a century later, ironically, he finds himself part of the one percent that does not live virtually. He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work, and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar.