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They call him The Donkey because of the size of his dick. I call him it because he's a complete and total ass. I hate Landon Maddox with a passion, and I haven't even met him yet. Underwear model, star quarterback, arrogant, muscle-headed prick. I never wanted a stepbrother in the first place, and now I have one that thinks he's a God. Seriously. If his most famous asset isn't beaming down at me from billboard posters all over the city, he's spread across the front pages of every single newspaper, always for the wrong reasons.

Misanthrope. Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.