dr. tay dives deep into perfectionism — how it shows up in autism parenting, in clinical work, and even in content creation. she shares personal reflections, a powerful story from her group therapy model, and a reminder that perfectionism can hide behind our best intentions to help.

this episode explores:

1. the fine line between accommodation and over-accommodation
2. perfectionism as a form of rigidity and how it sneaks into parenting
3. learning to release shame and accept imperfection as part of growth

00:00 introduction: what perfectionism looks like in parenting

00:54 reflections from clinical practice and lived experience

01:33 perfectionism behind the scenes of podcasting and social media

02:36 when “doing it right” becomes doing too much

12:46 finding the balance between accommodation and over-accommodation

21:17 learning to release control and practice repair over perfection

25:15 a group reflection on perfectionism and shared growth

35:42 closing encouragement and ways to stay connected

⚡️ join evolve: the membership — a space for parents to reflect, connect, and grow through their autism journey.

⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach and current clinical services at drtaylorday.com.

⚡️ continue learning from me and submit questions (they may be featured on a future episode!)

instagram → @the.dr.tay

tiktok → @the.dr.tay

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

Dr. Tay sits down with Jessie Caraway, creator of the If You Know One Project, to talk about her family’s journey, her daughter’s autism diagnosis, and how the project grew out of a desire to build community and awareness.

They reflect on the long road to an autism diagnosis, reframing “high support needs,” and the importance of seeing each autistic child through a lens of humanity rather than fear or deficit. Jessie shares how her journey with her daughter, Eliza, inspired her to create the If You Know One Project — a space that celebrates individuality and connection through neurodiversity-affirming awareness, apparel, and storytelling.

Together, Dr. Tay and Jessie explore what it means to move forward with compassion, to hold complexity in parenting, and to remind families that every story — every one — matters.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement

00:29 Host’s Background and Podcast Purpose

01:31 Guest Introduction and Family Background

02:01 Starting the If You Know One Project

03:29 Community Engagement and Resource Sharing

06:50 Challenges in the Diagnosis Journey

11:36 Navigating the Healthcare System

18:23 The If You Know One Project’s Mission and Future Goals

22:59 Navigating the Journey Together

23:22 Support for Families

24:04 Community and Connection

24:33 Understanding High Support Needs

25:22 The Value of Individuality

26:20 Perspective Shifts and Humanity

28:24 Building Trust and Communication

32:19 Sharing Stories and Advocacy

36:12 Encouragement for Parents

38:56 Final Thoughts and Resources

💛 RESOURCES

⚡️ Connect with Jessie Caraway + The If You Know One Project:

Instagram → @jess_ifyouknowone

Etsy Shop → If You Know One

⚡️ Join EVOLVE: The Membership — a neurodiversity-affirming space for parents to find community, support, and ongoing learning on this journey.

⚡️ Learn more about Dr. Tay’s Whole Family Approach + current services at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ Continue learning + submit questions for future episodes:

Instagram → @the.dr.tay

TikTok → @the.dr.tay

this episode is a replay of my instagram live q+a, where we processed the recent press conference linking autism and tylenol. i shared reflections on research, stigma, and neurodiversity-affirming care, and answered parent questions in real time.

we covered the nuance of research, medication conversations, ableism and stigma, and most importantly — how parents can ground themselves and their families.

a special thank you to sam marion, lcsw (@sammarioncounseling) for moderating the live chat and helping to hold respectful space for this conversation.

toward the end of this episode, i introduce the just one thing challenge—a free 7-day practice designed to help parents slow down, ground themselves, and notice one small glimmer in the middle of daily overwhelm.

join the just one thing challenge starting monday, october 6th, 2025

– on instagram: follow @the.dr.tay and message JOTCHALLENGE

– not on instagram? sign up here

00:00 introduction + intent of the live

01:46 introducing sam marion

03:51 processing the press conference

06:20 what neurodiversity affirming care really means

07:50 dr. tay’s background + perspective

09:52 making sense of autism research

12:36 diving into parent questions

24:05 responding to the administration’s narrative

39:54 fda-approved medications + leucovorin discussion

41:51 understanding pda + affirming supports

44:15 debunking tylenol + autism myths

45:56 confronting stigma + ableism

48:58 concerns about government policies

51:54 supporting autistic kids + families

01:10:51 the just one thing challenge

01:15:34 closing reflections + resources

⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to find community + support in your parenting journey

⚡️ learn more about dr. tay's whole family approach + current clinical services offered at drtaylorday.com

⚡️ continue learning from me + submit questions that may be featured on a future episode >>

instagram @the.dr.tay

tiktok @the.dr.tay