In Episode 8, AJ and AJ dive deep into what it means to break the cycle of abuse, especially when the harm comes from the people who are supposed to love you most—sisters, friends, and family.

"A" shares the story of a friendship with a narcissist, beginning with intense love bombing and quickly evolving into something darker: becoming a supporting character in someone else’s carefully crafted social media persona. A finds herself literally and emotionally positioned as the “camera person,” helping build someone else’s image while quietly losing herself in the process. As she unpacks what happened, she realizes the relationship was echoing a familiar dynamic—chasing validation and mirroring patterns from her relationship with her mother. Ultimately, "A" chooses herself: she stands up, draws a boundary, and removes this person from her life—set to the soundtrack of “Walking on a Dream” by Empire of the Sun.

"J" opens up about growing up with an abusive sister, and how she survived by escaping into Little House on the Prairie—watching herself onscreen through Laura Ingalls Wilder, while her sister became Nellie Oleson in her mind: cruel, entitled, and relentless. Even when her sister offered half-hearted apologies, the bullying continued. "J" shares how she eventually learned to stand up for herself, refuse the cycle, and step away from the role she was forced into—breaking the cycle of abuse for good.

AJ and AJ get real about their first periods — including the awkward, traumatizing and even serendipitous moments that came with them.

“J” shares how a trip to a waterpark turned into actual trauma when she was forced to wear a tampon way too early — locked in a bathroom with her mom and sisters, all of them screaming at her to just put it in — turning what should’ve been a fun day into total panic and humiliation. She talks about how "Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret" helped her feel seen for the first time, like she wasn’t the only one going through it.

“A” shares her own “this is fate” first period story: she got hers the day she went to an *NSYNC concert, and to her it felt amazing — like she was finally a woman, and therefore officially ready to get pregnant by JC from *NSYNC. Then, in a full-circle twist, she talks about how 14 years later she actually met her childhood crush… and he turned out to be a total jerk, completely destroying the fantasy in the most disappointing way possible.

In this episode of What’s Your Damage, AJ and AJ confront the horrifying realization that sometimes… we are a little bit like our abusers. They dig into how art has a deeply rude habit of holding up a mirror, reminding us that everyone is capable of doing bad things—and that one bad moment doesn’t get to be the whole book. It’s a chapter. A messy one. But still just a chapter.

"J” recounts losing her cool after her Disneyland flight was canceled and she yelled at a customer service representative who absolutely did not deserve the spice "J" was serving up. What started as a travel issue quickly turned into an uncomfortable mirror of her father’s explosive anger—clarifying, humbling, and deeply inconvenient. That realization followed her later while watching Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, when she noticed to her horror that she was identifying with the Empire.

"A” opens up about discovering her codependency after reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and immediately realizing the book was, unfortunately, about her. She talks about a major fight with her producer, quitting drinking shortly after, and how that decision quietly but completely changed her life.

This episode is about accountability without self-destruction, laughing at your worst moments, and remembering that a bad day—or even a bad call to customer service—is just a page in the book, not the whole story.

This week on What’s Your Damage, AJ and AJ attempt to Marie Kondo their emotional baggage, unpack the chaos of messiness, and then hurtle straight back to 2020. The team opens up about how they coped with COVID, isolation, and deeply questionable living situations.

“A” (who is definitely Anne Hathaway… probably) shares the true horror of being bubbled with her producer’s roommate and his girlfriend. Starved for community, “A” discovers Survivor and becomes obsessed, dreaming about being on the show not for the challenges, but for the social game—alliances, conversations, and any form of human connection.

Meanwhile, “J” discovers RuPaul’s Drag Race and reflects on how the show—and the world—has changed since its early seasons. From finding community to celebrating individuality, every queen brings something unique, reminding us all: it’s okay to be exactly who you are. Even if you are a secret CIA spy.

Reality TV, radical self-love, and one timeless truth: if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

AJ and AJ kick off episode 4 by debating which "Friends" characters they relate to, then dive headfirst into the messy, meaningful theme of belonging. "A" opens up about feeling disconnected in college before finding real sisterhood in her sorority—bonding over Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and The Butterfly Effect. "J" reflects on growing up without a close bond with her sister and the comfort she found in the iconic Babysitters Club series.

In this episode, AJ and AJ take on the theme of obedience—who demands it, who survives it, and what it costs. "A" opens up about the abuse she endured as a child and a devastating Christmas Eve fight with her sibling that brought her to the edge, and how a single monologue line ultimately saved her life. "J" reflects on growing up with the foundations of Mormonism in her home, her father’s rage, and learning that obedience was necessary for both survival and getting into heaven. She also shares how My Favorite Murder—and the mantra “fuck politeness”—helped unravel her lifelong obedience patterns.

AJ and AJ dive into the influence of ’90s queen, Alanis Morissette and how her music helped shape who they became. "J" talks about growing up without fitting the female stereotype her mother wished for—and how Jagged Little Pill empowered her to show up as herself, from dressing in thrifted men’s clothes to embracing her own identity. "A" shares a stress-inducing dream about Alanis that sent her into a panic about her sexuality, and how that fear eventually turned into self-acceptance and embracing her pansexuality.

What’s love got to do with trauma? In our very first episode, AJ and AJ dig into the theme of love—romantic, religious, and deeply confusing. "J" shares the story of her first marriage straight out of BYU: a supposed eternal bond that fell apart while living above a truck stop in the middle of nowhere, and how binging Ally McBeal helped her believe in love again. "A" revisits her high school years, unpacking an unrequited crush that peaked with an unexpected tongue during a school play—from a boy who, it turned out, didn’t actually like her—and how she escaped into A Walk to Remember.