In this episode of What’s Your Damage, AJ and AJ confront the horrifying realization that sometimes… we are a little bit like our abusers. They dig into how art has a deeply rude habit of holding up a mirror, reminding us that everyone is capable of doing bad things—and that one bad moment doesn’t get to be the whole book. It’s a chapter. A messy one. But still just a chapter.

"J” recounts losing her cool after her Disneyland flight was canceled and she yelled at a customer service representative who absolutely did not deserve the spice "J" was serving up. What started as a travel issue quickly turned into an uncomfortable mirror of her father’s explosive anger—clarifying, humbling, and deeply inconvenient. That realization followed her later while watching Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, when she noticed to her horror that she was identifying with the Empire.

"A” opens up about discovering her codependency after reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and immediately realizing the book was, unfortunately, about her. She talks about a major fight with her producer, quitting drinking shortly after, and how that decision quietly but completely changed her life.

This episode is about accountability without self-destruction, laughing at your worst moments, and remembering that a bad day—or even a bad call to customer service—is just a page in the book, not the whole story.

This week on What’s Your Damage, AJ and AJ attempt to Marie Kondo their emotional baggage, unpack the chaos of messiness, and then hurtle straight back to 2020. The team opens up about how they coped with COVID, isolation, and deeply questionable living situations.

“A” (who is definitely Anne Hathaway… probably) shares the true horror of being bubbled with her producer’s roommate and his girlfriend. Starved for community, “A” discovers Survivor and becomes obsessed, dreaming about being on the show not for the challenges, but for the social game—alliances, conversations, and any form of human connection.

Meanwhile, “J” discovers RuPaul’s Drag Race and reflects on how the show—and the world—has changed since its early seasons. From finding community to celebrating individuality, every queen brings something unique, reminding us all: it’s okay to be exactly who you are. Even if you are a secret CIA spy.

Reality TV, radical self-love, and one timeless truth: if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

AJ and AJ kick off episode 4 by debating which "Friends" characters they relate to, then dive headfirst into the messy, meaningful theme of belonging. "A" opens up about feeling disconnected in college before finding real sisterhood in her sorority—bonding over Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and The Butterfly Effect. "J" reflects on growing up without a close bond with her sister and the comfort she found in the iconic Babysitters Club series.