Markathy shares her transition from military service into civilian life and the devastating experience of being laid off after 11 years with a company where she thought she would eventually retire.

After months of job applications, rejection and uncertainty, Markathy found herself questioning not only her career, but part of her identity. The difficult season forced her to reconnect with her faith, lean on her family and eventually rethink how she approached her career and professional network.

But another transition was already happening.

Her children were growing up.

With two children in college and another approaching adulthood, Markathy began confronting a question many mothers eventually face:

Who am I when my children don't need me the same way anymore?

Donna and Markathy unpack the guilt women can experience when prioritizing themselves, the emotional transition from raising children to advising adult children, people-pleasing, therapy, self-care, saying no and rediscovering what they actually enjoy.

They also reflect on a friendship that began during their military service and has lasted for decades, creating a space where neither woman has to perform or become someone else to feel accepted.

And as Markathy enters this next chapter, she's beginning to dream again, including growing her catering business, Markathy's Table, creating cooking content and finally making room for goals that belong to her.

Because sometimes unpacking the mess isn't about fixing what's broken.

Sometimes it's about asking yourself a question you haven't had time to ask in years:

What about me?

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After more than a decade of trying to have children, Patricia eventually underwent a hysterectomy and had to confront the reality that motherhood would not be part of her story in the way she and her husband had imagined.

Patricia opens up about grieving children they had already imagined, navigating the loneliness of infertility, and reaching an important realization: not giving birth does not make someone less of a woman, less lovable, or less whole.

But this conversation goes far beyond infertility.

Donna and Patricia discuss advocating for yourself in women's healthcare, life after hysterectomy, self-care, body image, mental health, people-pleasing, learning to enforce boundaries, and the exhaustion that comes from constantly performing for everyone around you.

They also unpack Patricia's "villain era" — not as a season of becoming cold or selfish, but as a season of protecting her energy, enforcing boundaries, and finally making herself a priority.

Through humor, vulnerability, and the kind of conversation only longtime friends can have, Donna and Patricia explore what it means to close painful chapters without allowing them to define the rest of your story.

Because healing doesn't always mean getting the life you originally wanted.

Sometimes it means realizing you can still build a beautiful life from the one you have.

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Sheridan shares the complicated story of losing her mother in January 2025 after years of struggling with the effects of her mother's drug addiction. Their relationship was filled with love, conflict, instability, broken trust, and ultimately difficult boundaries Sheridan had to establish to protect herself and her children.

The conversation explores what happens when a child grows up too quickly, when the roles between parent and child become reversed, and when loving someone doesn't mean you can continue rescuing them.

Donna and Sheridan also discuss the complicated emotions that can come with grieving a parent who struggled with addiction. Anger, sadness, guilt, love, disappointment, compassion, and relief can exist at the same time.

Most importantly, they explore the realization that addiction often exists alongside unresolved trauma. Understanding someone's pain doesn't excuse the harm they caused, but it can become part of unpacking the complicated emotions left behind.

If you've experienced the loss of a parent, loved someone struggling with addiction, grown up in an unstable home, or struggled with setting boundaries with family, this conversation may feel incredibly familiar.

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Donna is a 17-year veteran, entrepreneur, mother, grandmother, nonprofit founder of Let’s Talk Veterans, and creator of Black Collective Experience. In this debut episode, she explains why Unpacking the Mess was created as a transparent, non-judgmental space for people to speak freely about the real-life struggles they carry.

Donna shares her own experiences with grief, including losing her mother at age nine, surviving miscarriages, navigating divorce, raising children, battling anxiety and depression, and learning how therapy, journaling, faith, affirmations, and community can help people move through pain.

This episode reminds listeners that grief is not only about death. It can come from relationships, job loss, disappointment, trauma, change, and the many unexpected waves of life. Donna’s message is clear: we may not get over everything, but we can get through it.

If you are carrying grief, struggling with mental health, supporting a veteran, or trying to find joy while unpacking the mess of life, this episode is for you.

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