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Tao Te Ching Verse 81

translated by Isabella Mears

Faithful words may not be beautiful,
Beautiful words may not be faithful.
Those who love do not quarrel,
Those who quarrel do not love.
Those who know are not learned,
Those who are learned do not know.
The riches of the self-controlled person are in the Inner Life.
When one spends for others, one has more for oneself.
When one gives to others, one has much more for oneself.
Heavenly Tao blesses all and hurts no one.
The way of the self-controlled person is to act and not to fight.

Photo by Nastya Dulhiier on Unsplash

Staying Connected

In this final verse of the TTC, I feel like there are three things with which Lao Tzu leaves us:

The first is that when we are connected with Tao (which is always, btw), we can

See without looking

Listen without hearing

Feel without touching

Internalize without smelling or tasting

The second is the property of reflection - both internal and external to ourselves, which to me means that when I look inside, the Tao is reflected back. Ripples in a pond, while they emanate outward, always return to the source.

And the third is that emulating the Tao is the way to align ourselves with it, just like a magnet points toward the closest pole.

How do we practice all of this? That is our individual choice! Throughout the podcast, we have discussed different ways to put the principles into practice, and have acknowledged that those aren’t the only ways. In fact, I suspect that like the Tao, the number of ways I can use to practice those principles are infinite. In my short journey so far with the Tao, I have learned four centering mindsets that lead to different practices for different times, and I’ll leave them with you for your consideration:

1. I must approach the Tao with as much sincerity as I can. It doesn’t matter how deeply sincere I am - just the best I can do in the moment is enough.
2. I ask Tao for the willingness to see things a different way. I ask for awareness.
3. I ask Tao to show me what I can do to practice.
4. I ask Tao to help me be willing to practice once I know the way.

This is pretty much the cycle for me. It is simple, AND easy to do, at least most of the time. This mindset has helped me to become open to new ways of seeing things, new meditations, new contemplations, and what I feel is the coolest thing yet: being able to work with Tao to transmute my hangups, fears, and the negativity that has been with me since childhood into a loving, very real connection with myself, others, and the environment around me.

I am experiencing being human. It can be great. It can be horrifying. It can be incredibly beautiful. I can choose to do it alone. I can choose to do it with Tao. The choice is mine alone, and the action is mine to take.

Tao is impartial to my choice - so even Tao doesn’t influence my choice or action. How profoundly poignant is that? This is my journey. It is your journey. It is our journey. We all share this human experience, and yet we experience it individually. I am grateful that I have been willing enough to experience Tao in all its myriad forms. I am grateful for this human experience. I am grateful I can know compassion, contentment, and humility. I am grateful I have had this experience because of and with...you.

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Tao Te Ching Verse 80

translated by Hua-Ching Ni

Let there be small communities with few inhabitants.
The supply of vessels may be more than enough,
yet no one would use them.
The inhabitants would love living there so dearly that they would never wish to move to
another place.
They may have every kind of vehicle,
but they would not bother to ride them.
They may have powerful weapons,
but they would not resort to using them.
They would return to a simple system of cords and knots to record their simple events,
as was done in ancient times.
They would be content with plain food,
pleased with simple clothing,
satisfied with rustic but cozy homes,
and would cling to their natural way of life.
The neighboring country would be so close at hand that one could hear its roosters crowing
and its dogs barking along the boundaries.
But, to the end of their days, people would rarely trespass the territory of another's life.

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Utopia On the Surface

My experience with this verse has been unexpectedly beautiful.

In this verse, he outlines utopia:

• Abundance
• Harmony in the Community
• Ability to Travel and Defend but no need for either of those things
• Simplicity in Knowledge Management
• Comfortable lifestyle
• Peace with the Neighbors

So as I’m reading it and reflecting, knowing everything that I’ve learned and practiced so far, I can see that the utopia is actually possible!

There have been two times when I’ve witnessed this, and I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I knew things were different. I’ll tell you about one of them.

In one of my trainings in the Army, I was in what we’d call a squad - about 8 of us in a small group. We were to train, eat, and sleep together for about 35 days. Some of my comrades would have forgotten an item or two, and just me - I would offer what I had blindly. Now someone might say that was a little dumb of me - you know, like I should have given of my overflow, not my cup, right? But naive as I was, I did it. I did that for a week or two, and I noticed that the others started doing the same. Soon, we were a functioning little family unit, and we looked out for each other and our needs. It became normal. Some time later, maybe about 3 weeks, one of our cadre remarked that there wasn’t any infighting in our group like the other squads. They wondered what it was. At that moment, I knew. And it wasn’t like I could have said anything about it - there was no way I could have said that I was the cause in the beginning. It was one of those subtle things that folks weren’t even paying attention to, to include myself! But I knew it.

As I’m considering that experience with that group and reading this verse today, I’m thinking about at least observing how my journey with the Tao has affected my relationships since I started. At home, I have enjoyed a deeper connection with my spouse as I grow with her and we share spiritual insights. At work, I have opened up to more ways to be of service, and interesting opportunities have presented themselves. With friends, I have practiced humility and have met some people that have had profound impacts on my life - and statistically, it seems pretty much impossible that that would have occurred had I gone out searching for them in a deliberate manner.

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Tao Te Ching Verse 79

translated by Keith H. Seddon

When a bad grudge is settled,
Some enmity is bound to remain.
How can this be considered acceptable?
Therefore the Sage keeps to her side of the contract
But does not hold the other party to their promise.
One who has Virtue will honour the contract,
Whilst one who is without Virtue expects others to meet their obligations.
It is the Way of Heaven to be impartial;
It stays always with the good person

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Giving to Receive

I have experienced time and again that most of the time, if I smile at someone, they’ll smile back. I’ve also experienced that when I’m angry or sour-faced, people kind of leave me alone, and if I try to make them feel the way I’m feeling, I’ll get that back, too.

In our physical world, it seems that when I push on object A it moves to location B and pretty much stays there. But in our spiritual world, it seems that when I do action A, it goes out to B and comes back to me in a reflective manner.

The emotions observation was just one thing. Let’s think about a couple more aspects. When I treat others with compassion and they feel safe around me, people open up and share themselves with me. Just doing nothing, just being there and holding space for them, kind of like being the empty vessel, does the trick. When I am doing the opposite - being selfish and closed off, I am left alone and can’t connect with others. When I am feeling desire for stuff or relationships I don’t have, people somehow pick up on this and again, I am left alone mostly. Except in cases where others who are in the same position connect with me and we feed off of each other in unhealthy ways. But when I am in love with my life and am quietly appreciate of myself and everything around me, I attract other people to share in this feeling with me. When I am feeling equal to people, real relationship moments occur. But when I am feeling superior or inferior to others, self-doubt usually surfaces and that feeling eventually causes me to act in passive aggressive or mildly hostile ways toward others. Subtle ways, but hostile nonetheless.

When I give my three treasures away, they return. Similarly, when I give my ‘ick’ away, it returns. So I can pretty much observe that I get back what I put out. It is tempting to enter into esoterica here, and equally so to enter into grander visions of a honed manifestation ability. And while I feel like that’s all got a true feel to it, I do like the way Lao Tzu helps us remember this axiom in a simple way.

He talks about the Sage staying with the left side of the tablet - the debtor’s rather than the creditors. He says that when we emulate the Tao by always giving, always being open and available to connect and serve, we become the forces that help others move into Harmony along with us. And when we do that, we can’t help but reap the rewards - we don’t have to do anything - they just arrive.