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Not So Breakfast Show - Midweek Mini: Focus Check-In (The Dump Day Follow-Up)

A quick midweek pause to audit where your attention actually is - and whether it's serving you or sabotaging you.

The Core Question

"Where is my focus right now?"

There's usually something in your brain controlling your attention, whether you're aware of it or not.

IS THIS SERVING ME?

Your focus is currently on something. Maybe it's:

• A problem you can't solve
• An opportunity you're pursuing
• A worry you can't control
• A skill you're developing
• A situation that keeps repeating

Ask: Is this focus helping me or hurting me right now?

Option 1: Dump the Focus Maybe you're focusing on something that doesn't deserve your mental bandwidth right now. Write it down. Get it out of your head. Move on with the rest of the week.

Option 2: Dump Everything Else Maybe what you're focusing on IS hyper-important, but you're not giving it the urgency it deserves because you're carrying too much other stuff. Dump the clutter so you can actually focus on what matters.

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Not So Breakfast Show - Episode 250: Always Be Learning (ABL) - And Why Sacha Wears the Same Outfit All Week

Sacha's wearing the same outfit she wore yesterday (and will wear all week) following the Steve Jobs/Angela Merkel/Hillary Clinton uniform approach to reduce decision fatigue. Ish just learned this today after recording back-to-back sessions. This kicks off a conversation about ABL - Always Be Learning - exploring how our brains work, what we're teaching ourselves without realising it, and why the reticular activation system means you see pregnant women everywhere when you're pregnant.

Main Topics

• Two Types of Learning -- Acquiring new knowledge (capital of Azerbaijan) vs. learning about your own behavior (what systems help you be more effective)
• The Reticular Activation System (RAS) -- Your brain's filter that focuses on what matters to you. Buy a Toyota RAV4? Suddenly they're everywhere. Get pregnant? Only see pregnant women. Focus on opportunities? Your brain finds them.
• Who Taught You to Think Like That? -- Unexamined beliefs about surnames, gender roles, career paths. The unexplored assumptions we carry without questioning where they came from.
• Micro-Moments of Learning -- 30-day deep dives on specific skills, tiny steps toward discomfort (wearing brighter shirt, asking shop assistant about their day, box jumps with one riser at a time)

The universe keeps presenting the same problem over and over until you learn the lesson.

If these things "always happen" - what's the pattern you're supposed to recognise and change?

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Midweek Mini: Put Out the Match, Not the Bushfire

Hope is not a strategy. When you see that little flare of trouble in your team, process, or system, and you think "I hope that dies out on its own" - that's the moment to act. Three weeks later when you're fighting a bushfire, you'll wish you'd dealt with the match.

The Core Principle

Small conversations feel awkward because you're bringing up something that seems minor. But issues escalate quickly:

• Employee giving you a little bit of tone
• Meeting disagreement that wasn't handled well
• Process starting to break down
• Relationship tension beginning to show

Why We Avoid the Match

• Feels too small to address
• Might make things weird
• Hope it resolves itself
• Don't want to seem petty
• Busy with bigger fires

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Not So Breakfast Show - Episode 249: How to Be Agreeably Disagreeable

Sacha's experimenting with fake tan for the first time at nearly 53 (she looks like a giraffe's coat of many colors, according to her assessment), while Ish is fresh from the gym, sweaty and smelly (lucky they record on line). Today's topic: How do you disagree without becoming a career-limiting liability? How do you challenge ideas without tearing people down?

Main Topics

• The Contrarian Personality -- Sacha admits being disagreeable is almost a central trait - always looking at arguments from both sides, naturally questioning everything, enabled by upbeat personality that masks how disagreeable she actually is
• The Power Balance Reality -- Before disagreeing, assess: Is this your boss? A colleague? Someone who reports to you? The approach must shift based on power dynamics.
• The Three-Phase Framework -- Start with alignment (find common ground), ask clarifying questions (joint problem-solving), offer next steps (pilot tests, comparison options)
• Separating Ideas from People -- Pressure test ideas, not individuals. The sooner teams learn to separate their ideas from themselves, the freer everyone feels to contribute and challenge.

The Disagreement Framework

PHASE 1: START WITH ALIGNMENT

Find what you agree on before highlighting differences:

Examples:

• "I understand what we're trying to do here. I know we're aligned on the end result being X..."
• "I'm with you on the outcome. I just see the path to get there a little bit differently."
• "We all agree we want to live in a country where every child gets opportunity..."

PHASE 2: ASK CLARIFYING QUESTIONS

Get more information without setting people up to fail:

Good Questions:

• "Help me understand what you're optimizing for"
• "Help me understand what factors you're prioritizing with this idea"
• "Can I offer another angle? I'd like to present a few other ways of looking at it"
• "Is there more data we need to collect to give us better sense of which way to proceed?"

PHASE 3: OFFER NEXT STEPS

Suggest ways forward that don't make it winner-takes-all:

Examples:

• "How about we try both approaches and determine which gets best result?"
• "Maybe we should spend time exploring both options equally, then decide"
• "I'd love to work with you on this - if we could have half an hour tomorrow, let's find where the issues are"
• "Let's pressure test these ideas to see how they stack up"

Bottom Line

Being disagreeable effectively requires starting with what you agree on, asking questions that truly seek understanding, and offering collaborative next steps. Separate ideas from people. Build reputation for helpfulness. Accept defeat graciously.

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MWM - One-Shot Moments

Ish watched Ed Sheeran's Netflix special - one continuous hour-long shot following him from gig to gig across New York. No cuts, no edits, just seamless performance requiring massive preparation. It got him thinking: How many one-shot moments do we have in our lives where we just wing it instead of doing the prep that moment deserves?

Main Topic

The One-Shot Reality -- First impressions, crucial interviews, important presentations, make-or-break meetings. You don't get do-overs, yet we often show up hoping it'll be okay instead of ensuring it will be.

Key Insights

• Ed Sheeran's One-Hour Continuous Shot - Behind the scenes reveals actors, staging, guitar swaps, route planning - all orchestrated to look effortless. The seamlessness came from preparation, not luck.
• You Don't Get a Second First Impression - Whether it's an interview, client meeting, or important conversation, your best self needs to show up the first time.
• The Preparation Guarantee - Sacha's standard: "When I've given something my best shot, if it didn't work, it wasn't because I wasn't prepared enough. I left everything out there."

Questions to Ask Yourself

1. What one-shot moments do I have coming up this week?
   • First meetings, presentations, interviews, and crucial conversations
2. Am I treating them with the preparation they deserve?
   • Or am I just hoping it'll be okay?
3. What would "leaving everything out there" look like for this moment?
   • What prep would make me confident I did my best regardless of the outcome?
4. How do I want people to feel after this interaction?
   • First impressions set standards and expectations

Bottom Line

One-shot moments happen throughout your week. Identify them. Prepare for them. Show up as your best self. If it doesn't work out, at least you know it wasn't because you didn't do the work.

Visit our website: notsobreakfastshow.com

PS: Happy Dump Day!

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Episode 248

It's Wednesday - traditionally "hump day" - but Sacha and Ish are rebranding it as "dump day" because they both have the minds of 12-year-old boys and can't get past the fornication implications. This episode is all about mental decluttering: getting the thoughts, tasks, and guilt out of your head so you can actually focus on what matters. From constipation metaphors to earthquake guilt, they cover why carrying less helps you show up as your best self.

Main Topics

• The Midweek Brain Dump -- Why Wednesday is the perfect time to offload everything cluttering your mental bandwidth and check if you're still on track with the week's priorities
• Mental Scrolling vs. Mental Dumping -- 80% of today's thoughts are the same as yesterday's. Breaking the pattern requires getting everything out of your head and onto paper.
• Sacha's Constipation Metaphor -- During chemo, anti-nausea drugs created the feeling of "concrete between hips and ribs." Mental clutter feels the same - blocked, powerless, unable to move. Dumping creates space.
• The 150 People Theory -- Sacha's persistent mental itch: humans can only maintain relationships with ~150 people. She wants to write down everyone she knows to scratch this itch and unlock creativity.
• The Hand in Front of Your Face Technique -- When something consumes all your attention, it's like holding your hand directly in front of your face - you can only see that one thing. Pull it back to see context. Lower it completely to avoid looking at it right now.
• Processing World Events -- How to acknowledge heavy news (landslides, geopolitical events, tragedy) without letting it paralyse you. Write it down, send love/prayer, then give yourself permission to continue functioning.

The Dump Day Process

What to Dump:

• Everything currently on your mental radar
• Tasks you planned for Monday that got derailed
• Other people's emergencies that became your priorities
• Conversations you're rehearsing in your head
• Guilt you're carrying for incomplete tasks
• World events weighing on your mind

Midweek Check-In Questions:

• What were my 1-3 priorities at the start of the week?
• Am I still on track, or has someone else's emergency hijacked my focus?
• What can I delete/dump to get back on course?
• What am I carrying that I need to let go of?

Dump day isn't about doing more - it's about carrying less so you can be more effective with what you're actually holding.

The Extemporaneous Moment

Ish finally remembered the word he was searching for in the last episode: extemporaneous (remarks made in formal settings that seem off-the-cuff but come from deep preparation). The freedom that comes from being prepared enough to freestyle.

Call to Action

This Wednesday, take 15 minutes to dump everything in your brain onto paper. Categorise if it helps. Delete what's just guilt. Identify what hijacked your original priorities. Then decide what you're actually carrying into the second half of the week.

Visit our website: notsobreakfastshow.com

PS: Other potential day names discussed: Jump day, Sump day, Lump day, Pump day (workout). All rejected for sexual implications. We're very mature.

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The Not So Breakfast Show - Midweek Mini
Episode: What Is Your Shadow?

Episode Summary
Every strength has a shadow side. If Superman were evil, he'd have all his abilities but use them for harm. This quick mini explores the downside of your strengths—from being the idea person who never finishes anything, to being so helpful you burn out and resent everyone. The trick? Take micro-pauses to ask: Does this situation need my strength right now, or am I best served by pulling back?

Key Insights

• Your greatest strength, when overused or poorly timed, becomes your greatest weakness

• The shadow creates barriers when you're trying to connect

• Recognition is the first step—you can't manage what you don't acknowledge

• Take micro-pauses to ask: "Does this situation need this right now?"

• Sometimes Superman was just a journalist, and that's okay

The Practice

1. Identify your core strength

2. Ask: What's the downside when this is overused?

3. Notice: When does my strength create barriers instead of connections?

4. Pause: Before deploying your strength, ask if the situation actually needs it

5. Pull back: Give others space to step up

Reflect & Share

What's your shadow? Share your strength and its flip side with us.

Rate & Review on whatever podcast platform you listen to

Follow us on social media

Forward the show to a friend

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Episode Show Notes

Season 8 kicks off with Sacha unpacking boxes in her new Christchurch home (can't find her microphone lead!) and Ish fresh from the holidays. This episode tackles a question they get all the time: how do you speak without notes? They break down what notes actually are, when to use them (spoiler: funerals and podcasts), and why reading to your audience means you should have just sent an email. Plus: UK Traitors' enthusiasm and why nobody actually cares what you say.

Also, for the record, the word Ish was trying to say was EXTEMPORANEOUS.

Main Topics

Notes Are A Distraction – If you're reading word-for-word to your audience, that's not a presentation, it's already an email. Send the email instead.

What Are Notes, Really? – The difference between full scripts, bullet points, cue cards, and memory aids. When each type is appropriate (and when they're not).

The Two Exceptions – Podcasts (no live audience watching) and funerals (emotion is overwhelming). Everything else is up for grabs.

Be Worthy of Your Audience – If you're asking 5, 50, 500, or 5,000 people to listen to you, the very least you can do is prepare well enough to be good. Everybody can be a worthy speaker.

Nobody Knows What You Were Going To Say – The liberating truth: your audience doesn't have your script. If you skip something or change direction, they'll never know. Relax.

Ready to level up your presenting skills? Start practising without notes!