What does it actually mean to love yourself — beyond affirmations and self-care trends?

In this episode, I share why I intentionally say “I am happy, I love myself” every single day, and how self-love has become the foundation for nervous system safety, self-belief, and alignment in my life.

We talk about how loving yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential.

How self-love creates trust within your body.

And how that trust allows you to stop chasing and start allowing what’s meant for you.

I share real moments from my daily life — listening to my body, resting without guilt, setting boundaries without over-explaining, choosing joy freely, and trusting God and the process even when the path isn’t clear. I also open up about how self-love changes relationships, especially within a marriage, and why both men and women deserve permission to be human.

This episode is about what changes when you stop abandoning yourself —

how self-love creates safety, belief, and a deeper trust in the path you’re walking.

This is where the medicine continues — in how you choose yourself when no one is watching.

In a world that feels loud, divided, and overwhelming, it can be hard to know where to place your attention — especially when your own life feels just as chaotic. Between nonstop schedules, kids’ sports, co-parenting, work, relationships, and personal dreams, the noise doesn’t just live in the headlines… it lives in our homes and our bodies too.

In this episode, Ashton reflects on a season of life where her calendar feels relentless and the world feels unsettled — and how she’s learning that healing doesn’t always come from big moments or escapes. Sometimes, the real medicine is found in the ordinary.

She shares honestly about navigating a packed family schedule, relying on a true village, why her circle has gotten smaller, and the daily practices that help her stay grounded — prayer, boundaries, rest, and choosing herself without guilt.

This episode is a reminder that you don’t have to wait for life to slow down to find peace. If your life feels full and you’re doing the best you can, this one’s for you.

Because sometimes, the ordinary moments are the medicine.

In this honest and heartfelt episode of The Medicine Spoke, Ashton unpacks her 2026 mantra: “Happiness is a choice.” What began as a simple phrase on a piece of home décor in her first apartment has become a powerful daily practice for regulating her nervous system and responding — rather than reacting — to life.

Ashton shares real-life examples of how this mantra shows up in her marriage, parenting, starting a new PRN nursing job, and even navigating frustrating moments in traffic. She explains how pausing, taking a breath, and intentionally choosing peace can shift the body out of fight-or-flight and create more safety, clarity, and connection in relationships.

This episode isn’t about toxic positivity or getting it “right.” It’s about awareness, grace, and the messy work of learning to feel safe in your own body after deep healing experiences. Ashton also reflects on how her recent DMT experience echoed this truth — that her purpose is simply to be happy and at peace.

If you’ve ever felt reactive, overwhelmed, or hard on yourself, this episode offers a gentle invitation to practice choosing differently — one breath, one moment, and one choice at a time.

What happens after the journey ends?

After the medicine quiets…

after you feel changed on the inside…

but the world around you looks exactly the same.

In this episode of The Medicine Spoke, we talk about integration — the often-overlooked part of healing. The return to everyday life. The grief, clarity, patience, and daily choices that come after transformational experiences.

Using the New Year as a symbolic blank slate, this episode explores what it really means to heal in real time — in the same house, the same roles, the same responsibilities — while learning to live differently.

You’ll hear reflections on:

• Feeling reborn internally while life stays the same externally
• Integration as a slow, honest, and sometimes messy process
• Using intention instead of pressure in the New Year
• Trusting the medicine within you — not rushing the process

This episode is an invitation to slow down, be patient with yourself, and remember:

healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to walk it alone.

There’s a part of the healing journey nobody really talks about —

the quiet after… the Gray Day… the place between fear and surrender.

In this episode, I share my Gray Day after ibogaine and my 5-MeO-DMT experience — the fear, the letting go, the visions, the tears, the prayers, and the deep peace that followed.

You’ll hear about:

• what Gray Day actually is

• why the silence is so intense

• my 5-MeO-DMT experience and what it felt like inside it

• the moment I thought I died — and what happened next

• releasing shame, mom-guilt, fear, and old stories

• meeting God, surrender, and rebirth

• what integration felt like when I came home

• and how all of this led me here — to you

This is the story of how the medicine broke me open and helped me start again.

And this is only the beginning — the next episodes dive into life after, integration, and how I began learning to truly heal.

In this episode, I finally open up and share something deeply personal — my Ibogaine journey, from the moment the day began through the night that changed everything.

I take you with me into the nerves, the prayers, the intentions, and then into the ceremony itself — the capsules, the visions, the purging, the fear, the tenderness, and the moments of love, clarity, and deep healing that felt like they were guiding me home to myself.

There were parts that were intense.

There were parts that were beautiful.

And there were moments that felt like the truth I had been waiting my whole life to see.

This was the night everything shifted — in my body, my heart, my relationships, my healing, and the way I see my life.

Next week, I’ll share what comes after…

The Gray Day, and the rest of our time in Mexico — leading into my 5-MeO-DMT experience.

Thank you for being here with me — and for letting me share this part of my story with you. 🤍

There’s a moment right before something changes your life — not when it happens, but when you realize there’s no turning back.

In Episode 9 of The Medicine Spoke, I take you with me through the quiet, sacred threshold before Ibogaine — from leaving home, crossing the border into Tijuana, and arriving at Ambio Life Sciences, to the moments of surrender, safety, and inner stillness that came before the medicine ever touched my body.

This episode isn’t about Ibogaine itself.

It’s about the decision, the waiting, and the subtle ways healing begins long before the ceremony.

I share the details of travel, trust, medical intake, the power of intuition over logic, and the deep emotional preparation that unfolded — including a traditional temazcal ceremony that opened the door to inner child healing.

If you’re standing on the edge of something big — healing, change, or choosing yourself — this episode is for you.

In the next episode, the medicine speaks.

In this episode, I’m finally sharing the part of my ibogaine story that no one really talks about — the calling, the curiosity, the preparation, and the unraveling that happened long before I ever stepped foot in Mexico.

It all began in January 2025 with a Joe Rogan episode… and a moment that shifted everything for me and my husband.

Today, I walk you through:

✨ Why I said yes to ibogaine even when I didn’t think I needed healing

✨ How the medicine began calling me before I even understood it

✨ The emotional rollercoaster of preparing for treatment

✨ What happened when the center went silent and fear finally showed up

✨ Meeting my preparation coach and learning what ibogaine really does

✨ My raw and vulnerable burn list — everything I wanted to release

✨ The intentions I hoped to gain, and how they became questions for the medicine

✨ The altar I created, the meaning behind every item, and why it mattered

✨ The final week before we left: the Zoom calls, the packing, the nerves, the excitement

This episode lays the foundation for everything that comes next.

Next week, in Episode 9, I’ll take you with me to Mexico —

the house, the people, the emotions,

and the two days that softened me into the deepest healing of my life.

If you’ve ever felt the medicine calling you…

or you’ve been curious about the process before an ibogaine journey…

this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and less alone.

Let’s peel back the first layer together.