The Hidden Patterns Making Fundraising Harder Than It Has to Be

September used to make me itch. As a professional fundraiser, I knew the all-important fourth quarter was approaching, and I never felt ready. Appeals, Giving Tuesday, events, planned giving messaging—my days were long on tasks and short on energy.

I kept working, but underneath all that activity was a familiar mix of overwhelm, pressure, and avoidance.

What I understand now that I didn't understand then is that the problem wasn't just my workload. Some of the patterns I brought to my workload were making an already demanding season even harder.

In this episode, we explore why we keep doing things we know aren't helping us—overthinking, taking rejection personally, saying yes when we mean no, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and carrying things that aren't ours to carry. We'll look at how to recognize these patterns with curiosity and begin choosing a different response.

Because maybe you don't need another Q4 strategy right now. Maybe you need fewer old patterns coming with you into Q4.

Join me for a free workshop:
Why Do I Keep Doing That?! Discover the Hidden Patterns Shaping How You Fundraise, Work and Lead

September 24 | 3 p.m. Eastern
90 minutes | Virtual | Free

Register here: https://lnkd.in/gknTTmEq

Send Erin a text

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright

Navigating the Heebie Jeebies of Learning in Public

We love growth. We just don't necessarily love letting other people watch us grow.

There's an awkward middle between deciding you want to get better at something and actually becoming good at it—a place where you don't quite know what you're doing yet, other people may be watching, and you can't control what they think about your performance.

For many of us, that's when preparation starts to look awfully attractive.

One more course. A little more research. Another degree. A few more donor touches. Just a little more practice before we put ourselves out there.

But when does responsible preparation become hiding?

In this episode of The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser, I'm exploring the vulnerability of learning in public—and sharing some of my own discomfort with doing exactly that as I learn how to podcast. We'll look at why being a capable, accomplished adult can actually make beginnerhood harder, what research tells us about women's desire to feel prepared before pursuing professional opportunities, and why avoiding discomfort can quietly cost us the very experience we need to grow.

We'll also look at how this shows up in fundraising: delaying the major-gift ask, researching instead of talking to donors, waiting until we can answer every possible question, or convincing ourselves we're not quite ready for the next opportunity.

Because eventually, there's something preparation can't give us:

Experience.

In this episode:

• Why being inexperienced is not the same as being incompetent
• How preparation can quietly turn into hiding
• Why avoiding vulnerability feels so good in the short term—and what it costs us over time
• The difference between waiting until you're completely ready and being ready enough to learn the rest by doing it
• How fear of not knowing the answer can keep fundraisers from having the conversations that actually move the needle
• Why confidence and capability are often the result of taking action, not prerequisites for it
• A simple experiment for becoming more willing to let other people see you learn

The goal isn't to become fearless.

It's to become safe enough within yourself to say:

You might see me struggle. You might see me make a mistake. You might see me learn. And I'm going to do it anyway.

Because that's how we get from here to there.

Research mentioned in this episode

Tara Sophia Mohr, “Why Women Don't Apply for Jobs Unless They're 100% Qualified,” Harvard Business Review.

Mohr is also the author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead.

The episode also references subsequent research examining gender differences in how prepared people want to feel before applying for jobs—and why the commonly repeated “women apply at 100%, men at 60%” statistic shouldn't be treated as established scientific fact.

Stay connected

💌 Join The Brave & Balanced Note, my free newsletter for reflections and practical tools around fundraising, leadership, emotional mastery, and your inner climate:

https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile

Learn more about my coaching and speaking at Vitalist Coaching:

https://www.vitalistcoaching.com

If this episode made you think of someone who's been preparing, researching, studying, or waiting for permission to begin, send it their way.

Send Erin a text

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright

Why your first reaction to a big vision may be the very thing keeping you small

Have you ever had an exciting idea—only to talk yourself out of it before it had a chance to breathe?

In this episode, I share a powerful insight from a recent one-on-one business retreat: the biggest obstacle to our dreams often isn't a lack of time, money, or opportunity. It's the habit of rushing straight to the logistics.

When we're operating from old patterns of fear or self-protection, our minds become remarkably efficient at explaining why something won't work. Before we've even allowed ourselves to imagine what's possible, we've already dismissed it.

What if the first step isn't figuring out how your vision will happen—but giving yourself permission to simply hold it?

Whether you're dreaming about a bold fundraising initiative, a career move, or a life that feels more aligned, this episode invites you to notice how quickly you leave possibility behind—and how opening your heart may be the key to opening your future.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why your nervous system may be shutting down creativity before it has a chance to emerge.
• How childhood patterns of staying safe can quietly keep you thinking small as an adult.
• The surprising connection between an open heart and expansive vision.
• Why jumping immediately to "how" can suffocate your best ideas.
• A simple practice to help you stay with possibility long enough to discover what's truly available.

Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do isn't to build the dream.

It's to stop talking yourself out of it.

Enjoying the podcast?

Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and if this conversation resonated with you, I'd love for you to leave a rating and review. It helps more fundraisers and nonprofit leaders discover a healthier, more sustainable way to lead.

💌 Join my free newsletter, The Brave & Balanced Note, for practical tools and reflections on emotional mastery, fundraising, leadership, and creating an inner climate where abundance can grow:

https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile

You can also learn more about my coaching and speaking at Vitalist Coaching:

https://www.vitalistcoaching.com

Send Erin a text

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright