Navigating the Heebie Jeebies of Learning in Public

We love growth. We just don't necessarily love letting other people watch us grow.

There's an awkward middle between deciding you want to get better at something and actually becoming good at it—a place where you don't quite know what you're doing yet, other people may be watching, and you can't control what they think about your performance.

For many of us, that's when preparation starts to look awfully attractive.

One more course. A little more research. Another degree. A few more donor touches. Just a little more practice before we put ourselves out there.

But when does responsible preparation become hiding?

In this episode of The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser, I'm exploring the vulnerability of learning in public—and sharing some of my own discomfort with doing exactly that as I learn how to podcast. We'll look at why being a capable, accomplished adult can actually make beginnerhood harder, what research tells us about women's desire to feel prepared before pursuing professional opportunities, and why avoiding discomfort can quietly cost us the very experience we need to grow.

We'll also look at how this shows up in fundraising: delaying the major-gift ask, researching instead of talking to donors, waiting until we can answer every possible question, or convincing ourselves we're not quite ready for the next opportunity.

Because eventually, there's something preparation can't give us:

Experience.

In this episode:

• Why being inexperienced is not the same as being incompetent
• How preparation can quietly turn into hiding
• Why avoiding vulnerability feels so good in the short term—and what it costs us over time
• The difference between waiting until you're completely ready and being ready enough to learn the rest by doing it
• How fear of not knowing the answer can keep fundraisers from having the conversations that actually move the needle
• Why confidence and capability are often the result of taking action, not prerequisites for it
• A simple experiment for becoming more willing to let other people see you learn

The goal isn't to become fearless.

It's to become safe enough within yourself to say:

You might see me struggle. You might see me make a mistake. You might see me learn. And I'm going to do it anyway.

Because that's how we get from here to there.

Research mentioned in this episode

Tara Sophia Mohr, “Why Women Don't Apply for Jobs Unless They're 100% Qualified,” Harvard Business Review.

Mohr is also the author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead.

The episode also references subsequent research examining gender differences in how prepared people want to feel before applying for jobs—and why the commonly repeated “women apply at 100%, men at 60%” statistic shouldn't be treated as established scientific fact.

Stay connected

💌 Join The Brave & Balanced Note, my free newsletter for reflections and practical tools around fundraising, leadership, emotional mastery, and your inner climate:

https://brave-balanced-note.kit.com/profile

Learn more about my coaching and speaking at Vitalist Coaching:

https://www.vitalistcoaching.com

If this episode made you think of someone who's been preparing, researching, studying, or waiting for permission to begin, send it their way.

Send Erin a text

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright