Discovery is often one of the most traumatizing experiences a partner can go through. But what follows, the painful "trickle truth" or staggered information, can feel just as damaging, leaving you constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In this episode, I sit down with Dan Drake, a licensed clinician and co-author of the Full Disclosure series, to discuss why getting the whole story isn't just about facts; it is a "Right of Truth."

We explore why truth is the non-negotiable foundation for any future intimacy and why "confessing" in the moment is very different from a therapeutic, well-planned disclosure.

We talk about:

• Confession vs. Disclosure: Why staggered revelations are merely "confessions" that protect the addict, whereas a full disclosure is a carefully constructed process designed to honor your need for safety.

• The Pyramid of Intimacy: Breaking down the hierarchy of connection, Truth, Safety, Trust, Vulnerability, and Intimacy, and why you cannot skip the foundation of Truth to get to Intimacy.

• • The "Why" Behind the Lies: Understanding how compartmentalization and shame often cause the betraying partner to "wall off" memories, not necessarily to hurt you, but to disconnect from their own reality.

• Busting Disclosure Myths: We tackle common misconceptions, such as the "90-day sobriety rule" before disclosure and the fear that "the truth will kill the relationship."

• The Curated Self: Why staying in a relationship without full disclosure means loving a "curated version" of your partner rather than who they really are.

This episode may be especially supportive if:

• You have experienced "staggered disclosure" and feel like you are constantly resetting your recovery clock.

• You are confused by why your partner can't just "tell you the truth" right now.

• You feel pressured to "trust" or be vulnerable before you have established a foundation of honesty.

• You are terrified that hearing the full truth will destroy your relationship, but you know deep down that deception is what is actually eroding it.

Ultimately, disclosure isn't about ending the relationship; it's about clearing the rubble so a real foundation can be built. As Dan shares, your partner cannot be truly loved if they are not truly known.

Listen in for a powerful conversation on why you deserve the dignity of your own reality and the right to make informed choices about your life.

Meet the Guest: Dan Drake

Dan Drake is a licensed clinician and the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor, a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor, and a Certified Clinical Disclosure Guide Mentor.

He is the co-author of several books, including Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, and five books in the Full Disclosure series, covering topics like Letters from a Sex Addict, My Life Exposed, Surviving the Holidays, Healthy Boundaries, and Rebuilding Your Foundation.

Dan is a husband and a father to two amazing kids and two fur babies. In his passion to help sex addicts, their partners, and families restore relational, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wholeness to their lives, Dan strives to provide a safe environment where his clients can grow and heal.

Dan's Website - www.banyantherapy.com

Rachel’s Booklist - https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel’s Newsletter - https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

In this episode of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Bookshelf, I circle back to Broken to Brave by Tammy Gustafson to share my personal takeaways and review.

For many women, there comes a confusing moment in recovery: You finally feel a sense of safety and stabilization, and then, suddenly and unexpectedly, you are hit with a wave of intense emotion that feels like you are right back at the beginning.

This is what Tammy calls "The Rumble" - Phase 2. It is a counterintuitive, paradoxical space where your nervous system finally feels safe enough to process the deep grief and anger it has been holding.

I dive into this "messy middle" and offer a new perspective on why feeling worse can actually mean you are healing.

We talk about:

• The Counterintuitive Nature of Phase 2: Why intense emotions often surface after you establish safety, not before.

• The "ECU" (Emotional Care Unit): Why we need to treat emotional injuries with the same intensive care as physical trauma, just because the "truck" has stopped hitting you, doesn't mean the healing is done.

• Healing Hurts: Using the metaphor of my shattered elbow and physical therapy to illustrate how true healing (like grieving) is often a painful process.

• Redefining Anger: Moving away from the belief that anger is dangerous or "bad," and seeing it as a vital, necessary part of the human experience and connection with God.

• Grief as Acceptance: How the "stages" of grief (shock, denial, bargaining, sadness) are actually a process of accepting reality.

This episode may be especially supportive if:

• You feel like you are moving backward in your recovery and are wondering, "What is happening?"

• You are experiencing sudden, visceral anger or deep sadness and feel confused or ashamed by its intensity.

• You find yourself bargaining or minimizing the abuse (e.g., "At least he didn't hit me") to soften the blow.

• You need permission to treat yourself with extreme gentleness, like a patient in the ICU.

Healing is not a linear journey, and it doesn't always feel "good." Sometimes, it feels like the deep ache of physical therapy, stretching, and healing wounds that have been braced for too long.

Listen in for a validating, honest look at the "Rumble Phase" and receive the reminder you need today: You can make it. Hold on. Keep going.

Meet the Author: Tammy Gustafson

Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, and speaker with over 15 years of experience. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and is the founder and CEO of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling. Tammy hosts the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, which provides compassionate, expert guidance to thousands of betrayed partners worldwide.

The Betrayal Healing Conference

January 26-30, 2026

https://010850311--betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/all-access-pass/

Book link on Amazon (available for preorder): Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal

https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Brave-Courageous-Intimate-Betrayal/dp/0800746554/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1YM58EIZVN5T9&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6O2P1kd86DCW296OpIUqfFQ_GXVylvGe8TTX7k8z890ZwUrgT55wIkf2iKz5R_vN3oYZRO8y6bVxuO92_9Im3chK-ANA6qeWSZDimFeV-Z8FI8zLkRzE8ZrrDwZq5EyQcVwcPSFQnk6YqLOT8OHiBCb0pK8fep98L01NPf6vYfWzi0ovxtsPXqBYgxdiekG_lZU5F7z3UP9PpWUl_3GadAkA0yZ0aVqhMVy6MEV5t3E.OX-VvvQCIX7WmIXxBNQo2vY4Rg4i3OhoQgwMRJboLOQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=broken+to+brave+book&qid=1764652534&sprefix=broken+to+brave+book%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-5

Tammy’s Website

tammygustafson.com

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel’s Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

In this episode, we explore boundaries through a wider, more spacious lens—one that moves beyond rules, ultimatums, or control and into meaning, symbolism, and self-honoring truth.

Inspired by The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You by Molly Davis Moon, this conversation invites a zoomed-out perspective on boundaries. Rooted in compassion and dignity, we explore what it means to truly honor yourself and others.

For those navigating betrayal trauma, boundaries often feel confusing, heavy, or weaponized and something you’re told to “set” without ever being taught how to feel your way into them. This episode offers a different entry point.

We talk about:

• Boundaries as symbols of self-respect rather than defenses

• What it means to honor me / honor you without self-abandonment

• How parables and story can bypass shame and speak directly to the nervous system

• Why boundaries are not punishments—but expressions of truth

• The “compassionate revolution”: choosing integrity over control

This is a reflective, meaning-rich conversation—especially for women healing from betrayal who are tired of black-and-white rules and longing for something more humane, spacious, and soul-honoring.

If boundaries have felt rigid, impossible, or unclear… this episode may offer a breath of fresh air—and a new way to see yourself within the story.

Pre-Order The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You by Molly Davis Moon Release date February 24, 2026

⁠https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141/ref=sr_1_1?crid=38HYE8XE9HP0V&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tyAiy4DWj0b246AF5DDyMQnaqdGBJsvj4RstbSJpUEflylKJ2K-068WIyTKJrPeMBO7ZL3G-w6haxNs3R7kpg04uKpXzjDr8O1yTIMDBQ3aPIj1D89SLeO_7R6N69HM6UEs8TTjwDvzqPLYo4qq68QsoALabvlB04v0aPNRzu1C8sQLeP-UOZJHg32MLFojScVGQsXxkug9WJHM54NX6HA.6Xv2C2MFMeU_2_JGuZwBWy-sT6Tn9yKSEveXwZeeS54&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+great+all+molly+davis+moon&qid=1767905014&sprefix=the+great+all+moll%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1⁠

About Molly

Molly Davis Moon is the author and illustrator of, The Great All: A Parable of

Hope, New Beginnings, and You. Raised in her wild ancestral home of Alaska, Molly is a mother and grandmother, lover of nature, and lifelong creative. A therapist, coach, and leader in the healing space, her popular boundaries cartoons and programs have taken social media by storm, creating loyal followers and changed lives. Now, Molly’s heart for a better world flows through her pen in this empowering parable for personal transformation and collective change.

You can find Molly on social media with her popular boundaries cartoons

Facebook: Becoming Boundaried (159k followers)

Instagram: @boundariedbootcamp (100k followers)

Website (online boundaries class for compassionate people): ⁠www.boundaried.com⁠

Rachel’s Booklist

⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share⁠

Rachel’s Newsletter

⁠https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

In this episode, we explore boundaries through a wider, more spacious lens—one that moves beyond rules, ultimatums, or control and into meaning, symbolism, and self-honoring truth.

Inspired by The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You by Molly Davis Moon, this conversation invites a zoomed-out perspective on boundaries. Rooted in compassion and dignity, we explore what it means to truly honor yourself and others.

For those navigating betrayal trauma, boundaries often feel confusing, heavy, or weaponized and something you’re told to “set” without ever being taught how to feel your way into them. This episode offers a different entry point.

We talk about:

• Boundaries as symbols of self-respect rather than defenses

• What it means to honor me / honor you without self-abandonment

• How parables and story can bypass shame and speak directly to the nervous system

• Why boundaries are not punishments—but expressions of truth

• The “compassionate revolution”: choosing integrity over control

This is a reflective, meaning-rich conversation—especially for women healing from betrayal who are tired of black-and-white rules and longing for something more humane, spacious, and soul-honoring.

If boundaries have felt rigid, impossible, or unclear… this episode may offer a breath of fresh air—and a new way to see yourself within the story.

Pre-Order The Great All: A Parable of Hope, New Beginnings, and You by Molly Davis Moon Release date February 24, 2026

https://www.amazon.com/Great-All-Story-Hope-Beginnings/dp/1684818141/ref=sr_1_1?crid=38HYE8XE9HP0V&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tyAiy4DWj0b246AF5DDyMQnaqdGBJsvj4RstbSJpUEflylKJ2K-068WIyTKJrPeMBO7ZL3G-w6haxNs3R7kpg04uKpXzjDr8O1yTIMDBQ3aPIj1D89SLeO_7R6N69HM6UEs8TTjwDvzqPLYo4qq68QsoALabvlB04v0aPNRzu1C8sQLeP-UOZJHg32MLFojScVGQsXxkug9WJHM54NX6HA.6Xv2C2MFMeU_2_JGuZwBWy-sT6Tn9yKSEveXwZeeS54&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+great+all+molly+davis+moon&qid=1767905014&sprefix=the+great+all+moll%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1

About Molly

Molly Davis Moon is the author and illustrator of, The Great All: A Parable of

Hope, New Beginnings, and You. Raised in her wild ancestral home of Alaska, Molly is a mother and grandmother, lover of nature, and lifelong creative. A therapist, coach, and leader in the healing space, her popular boundaries cartoons and programs have taken social media by storm, creating loyal followers and changed lives. Now, Molly’s heart for a better world flows through her pen in this empowering parable for personal transformation and collective change.

You can find Molly on social media with her popular boundaries cartoons

Facebook: Becoming Boundaried (159k followers)

Instagram: @boundariedbootcamp (100k followers)

Website (online boundaries class for compassionate people): www.boundaried.com

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel’s Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Betrayal doesn’t just shatter trust, it forces women to confront questions they never expected to face about boundaries, relationships, and who they are becoming in the aftermath.

In Part 2 of my conversation with author Tammy Gustafson, we move beyond survival and into the tender, complex territory of what comes next.

We talk honestly about boundaries that protect rather than punish, the different relational paths women may choose after betrayal, and how healing can slowly begin to transform into growth.

This conversation honors that there is no single “right” way forward, only the path that supports your safety, truth, and integrity.

• What boundaries actually are after betrayal and why they’re about self-protection, not control

• How to discern relational paths after betrayal without pressure or urgency

• Why healing isn’t about fixing the relationship, but stabilizing and reconnecting with yourself

• How clarity unfolds over time, not through forced decisions

• When healing begins to shift into growth and what that transition really feels like

• How to hold uncertainty with compassion instead of self-judgment
  

Tammy brings a steady, compassionate lens to this conversation — one that respects the depth of betrayal trauma while honoring women’s autonomy, timing, and inner wisdom.

• You’re confused about boundaries and worried you’re “doing them wrong”

• You feel pressure to decide whether to stay or leave before you feel grounded

• You’re noticing growth emerging, but still feel tender and unsure

• You want permission to move slowly and listen to yourself

• You’re ready to explore what healing can become — without rushing the process

Healing after betrayal doesn’t mean erasing the past. It means learning how to live with deeper truth, stronger boundaries, and a more connected relationship with yourself.

🎧 Listen in for a thoughtful, honest conversation about boundaries, choice, and how healing slowly turns into growth one grounded step at a time.

🌟 Meet the Author: Tammy Gustafson

Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, and speaker with over 15 years of experience. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and is the founder and CEO of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling. Tammy hosts the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, which provides compassionate, expert guidance to thousands of betrayed partners worldwide.

The Betrayal Healing Conference

January 26-30, 2026

https://010850311--betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/all-access-pass/

Book link on Amazon (available for preorder): Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal

Tammy’s Website

tammygustafson.com

Rachel’s Group Support Information

https://risestrongrecovery.my.canva.site/over-the-rainbow

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel’s Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Betrayal has a way of making women feel broken emotionally, relationally, and inside their own sense of self.

In this episode, I’m joined by author Tammy Gustafson for a powerful conversation about what it really means to be broken… and how bravery often emerges in ways we don’t expect after betrayal.

Together, we explore how betrayal trauma impacts the nervous system, identity, and sense of safety—and why healing is rarely a straight line.

• What “broken” actually means after betrayal and why it’s not a personal failure

• How bravery doesn’t look like strength or certainty, but honesty and presence

• The phases of healing after betrayal and why each one matters

• Why the path to healing often feels counterintuitive

• How betrayal creates an invisible injury that deserves real care and time

• What true repair looks like—inside yourself, not just in the relationship
  

Tammy offers a grounded, compassionate lens for understanding betrayal trauma, one that honors the depth of the injury without rushing women toward forgiveness or decisions they’re not ready to make.

This episode is especially supportive if:

• You’ve been told to “be strong” when you feel shattered

• You’re questioning why you’re still struggling long after the betrayal

• You want to true healing from the betrayal you’ve experienced

• You’re looking for validation that you’re on the path.
  

You are not weak because this hurt you.

You are not failing because healing takes time.

And you are not broken beyond repair.

🎧 Listen in for a compassionate, real conversation about betrayal, bravery, and what healing actually looks like after everything falls apart.

🌟 Meet the Author: Tammy Gustafson

Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, coach, and speaker with over 15 years of experience. She holds a master’s degree in counseling and is the founder and CEO of Betrayal Healing and LiveFree Counseling. Tammy hosts the annual Betrayal Healing Conference, which provides compassionate, expert guidance to thousands of betrayed partners worldwide.

The Betrayal Healing Conference

January 26-30, 2026

https://010850311--betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/all-access-pass/

Book link on Amazon (available for preorder): Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal

Tammy’s Website

tammygustafson.com

Rachel's Group Support Information

https://risestrongrecovery.my.canva.site/over-the-rainbow

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel’s Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Surrender is one of the most misunderstood concepts in healing, especially after betrayal trauma. For many women, the word itself can feel painful, unsafe, or even triggering. It can sound like giving up, minimizing harm, or accepting what should never have happened.

In this episode, we slow surrender way down.

This conversation explores what surrender actually means in the context of betrayal trauma and healing in Christ’s light. Not as passive acceptance or forced forgiveness, but as a gradual, grounded process of releasing what was never yours to carry in the first place.

We talk about surrender through multiple lenses. Faith, higher power, and the 12-step framework, while always coming back to what surrender looks like in real, everyday life for women whose trust has been shattered.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why surrender often feels painful and threatening after betrayal
• Making space for different concepts of a higher power without pressure or perfection
• What surrender means in the 12 steps, in practical, lived terms
• How surrender can coexist with boundaries, truth, and discernment
• How surrender can become a pathway back to peace, clarity, and self-connection

This episode is for women who are exhausted from holding everything together, from trying to manage outcomes, and from carrying responsibility that was never theirs. Surrender here is not about shrinking or silencing yourself. It is about softening your grip on what you cannot control so you can come back home to yourself.

You don’t have to understand surrender all at once. You don’t have to do it perfectly. And you don’t have to force it before you’re ready.

This episode offers gentle perspective, grounded truth, and permission to explore surrender at your own pace.

🌟 Meet the Author: Jeni Brockbank

Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.

Her Wings Unfold

https://herwingsunfold.org/

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel's Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY

Betrayal doesn’t just break trust — it fractures your connection to yourself, to others, and often to God.

In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m again joined by Jeni Brockbank, author of Healing in Christ’s Light, to explore what it looks like to move beyond survival and into deeper healing after betrayal — without bypassing pain or rushing the process.

This episode centers on soul-care, compassion, and truth-based healing for women navigating the aftermath of abuse, addiction, abandonment, and adultery.

Together, we explore:

• Why betrayal wounds the soul — not just the heart or mind

• What real soul-care looks like after trauma (and why “just pray more” often isn’t enough)

• How self-compassion becomes a critical healing practice after gaslighting and self-doubt

• Why healing in isolation keeps wounds open — and how safe community supports restoration

• The difference between accountability, support, and pressure disguised as “help”

• What forgiveness is — and what it is not

• Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, tolerance, or bypassing harm

• How faith-centered healing honors truth, boundaries, agency, and dignity

This episode is a grounding reminder that:

You are allowed to be tender with yourself.

You are not meant to heal alone.

And forgiveness is never meant to cost you your safety or your soul.

If you’ve struggled with guilt, pressure to “move on,” or confusion about forgiveness and faith after betrayal — this conversation was created for you.

🌟 Meet Our Guest: Jeni Brockbank

Jeni Brockbank lives in northern Utah with her six children, where she works as a betrayal trauma coach and podcaster. She finds joy in applying the gospel of Jesus Christ to real-life challenges, floating on lazy rivers, snuggling her kids, and long lunches with good friends. She loves the color red as a reminder of her individual worth to her Heavenly Father. Jeni is also the founder of Her Wings Unfold, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting survivors of domestic violence, betrayal, and abuse.

Her Wings Unfold

https://herwingsunfold.org/

Rachel’s Booklist

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/17C3H1PVHJ5N9?ref_=wl_share

Rachel's Newsletter

https://l.bttr.to/iKgcY