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Why treating dating as a “journey” quietly destroys love, authenticity and real connection with women—and what to do instead.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
- Why “getting good with women” often leads you away from what you actually want (love, not just sex)
- The subtle harm—to yourself and others—of treating women as steps on a personal growth journey
- Why neediness, manipulation and ego often disguise themselves as “progress”
- How opening the heart changes everything—and how to navigate that messy, incremental and human process

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
06:30 Zan on hiding his fire when he was younger, and how it hurt
12:55 Why men try to babysit women (and why women hate it)
19:30 Self-imposed pain, comparison, and missed opportunities
23:57 How short relationships with beautiful women started Zan’s healing
31:30 Jordan’s early years: heartbreak → power → being the heartbreaker → bitter pills
47:30 Reframe: There is no journey—only you and the woman in front of you
50:45 Why heart matters more than energy or technique
1:01:20 The value of sitting with uncertainty and confusion
1:04:20 Live weekend intensive announcement
1:06:40 The end of this series—and what’s next

*Do you see the women you meet as stepping stones to some future destination… or are you fully with the woman who’s in front of you right now?*

If this conversation resonates, share your reflections in the comments.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
Many men in our circle approach dating as a journey. A path. A process of improvement that will one day deliver them to love, confidence, or mastery with women.

But when women sense they’re being treated ‘merely’ as part of that journey—as a lesson, a test, or a stepping stone—something essential disappears.

This episode explores the quiet damage caused by turning intimacy into a project. Zan and Jordan speak candidly about the confusion, ego, missteps, heartbreak, and slow reckonings that shaped their understanding of love. From hiding one’s fire, to misusing power, to losing the heart entirely and finding it again.

What emerges is a simple truth: there is no journey. There is only the woman in front of you, and the quality of presence, honesty, and heart you bring to that moment.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
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ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social s

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Why women test, and how to pass.
(Hint: it has nothing to do with tactics—and everything to do with truth.)

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- The single quality that women ultimately probe for when they meet a man
- The behavioral nuances most men miss—but women never do
- What Zan wouldn’t do—why the spirit of invitation makes all the difference

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
02:15 Today’s question
06:55 The quality that sets certain men apart from all others
20:08 Be honest, but not crude – the art of being gentlemanly
22:00 What Would Zan Not Do?
42:15 How truth releases tension and creates openness in a woman
49:45 Women light up when you own your desire and express it
52:00 Another flavor of approach

What part of yourself are you most tempted to hide from a new woman you meet? Share your experience with us.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
When a woman tests you, she isn’t asking you to perform.

What she wants to know is: are you genuine? Or is there more going on beneath the surface that she can’t see?

Women love to have fun—but trying to figure out whether your interest in her is real, or whether you’re just engaging her for a quick ego boost before disappearing, is not a game she wants to play.

It often surprises men how accepting women are of desires the men themselves have difficulty accepting. It’s not what you want that turns her off. It’s the fact that it scares you.

Today’s episode explores what it means to be trustworthy—and the different flavors desire can take when it’s honestly expressed.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social structures. And it belongs to all of you.

Philosophers throughout the ages have argued whether beauty is objective or subjective, but in my view, beauty is neither. It is neither inherent as a property of the object (the objective view) nor is it in the eye of the beholder (the subjective view). Beauty is a third thing altogether.

Beauty is prime. It stands alone. It is a thing apart, in Kant's words: a Thing-In-Itself (Ding an sich). Beauty emanates from what Aristotle called the Unmoved Mover, what Plotinus called The One, what scientists call the Big Bang, and what John in the New Testament called the Word or Logos.

Ars Amorata is an attempt to lift Beauty to its rightful pla

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You hear the call to adventure—how to answer it through travel without blowing up your relationships or career.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

- The difference between travelling to consume vs. to reveal something hidden within you—and how _real_ travel changes who you are

- North, East, West and South as archetypes—what each offers a man, and what a balanced traveller looks like

- Why a strong call to adventure won’t leave you until something in you has transformed (and how suffering comes from suppressing it)

- How *clearly identifying* what you’re seeking can dramatically reduce the time, money, and energy your journey requires

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Highlights

02:00 Thoughts on the first Amorati Guild call and _culture creation_

10:20 How to leave as one man and return as another

16:50 Escape vs. adventure

22:35 You’re probably in one of these 3 stages

37:10 The archetypal North, East, West and South

39:55 Brazil as a case study

48:30 From Zan’s client: “I have a burning desire for adventure… but I also have a great girl in my life”

What desire is burning inside of you? Let us know in the comments.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:

*In this week’s podcast, we begin to guide you through different models of initiation.*

Some highlights:

*1.* How different life stages require us to complete certain tasks of maturation,

*2.* How the place in the world that you’re drawn to represents the missing facet within your soul,

*3.* How you probably don’t need the size and scale of adventure you imagine. When you understand what your psyche’s calling for, you can often shorten and direct the adventure, and keep the girl… _if you truly want to._

There’s no relationship status that will rescue you from the mythical, psychospiritual urge for initiation.

But you don’t have to blow up your relationship so you can wander. In fact, knowing exactly what you’re seeking doesn’t just raise the chances of your trip being a success… it can evoke from everyone around you the empathy (and challenge) that you need.

Though most people, these days, travel completely in the dark. Impulse, without reflection.

Enjoy the episode.

And, if you’d like to go deeper into this territory, _The Art of Initiatory Travel_ will be the topic of our next Weekend Intensive.

January 10th + 11th, online.

Available to members of the Amorati Guild.

~ Jordan

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy

____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/

____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/

____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com

____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :

https://amorati.me/free-gift/

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Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity

_________________________________

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End anxiety and dread around milestones like New Year’s or birthdays with a daily ritual and mindful pause.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

- The difference between goal-chasing and focusing on manifesting a _felt state of being_ (and how this helps you attract much higher-quality relationships)

- Why resolutions fail—and what to do instead

- A daily ritual that replaces anxiety with trust and potential

- A powerful end-of-year reflection exercise rooted in the Ars Amorata philosophy

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Highlights

56:40 Why alignment—not confidence or answers—dissolves New Year’s anxiety

59:10 Pausing, daily ritual, and the Amorati approach to reflection

01:00:00 How this is different from a resolution, plan, or to-do list

01:03:40 What actually matters

01:12:35 Zan's most enlightened quote

01:21:05 Jordan’s end-of-year exercise and reflection prompts

Up for a challenge? Participate fully in Jordan’s end-of-year reflection exercise. See the pinned comment.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:

If you’re reading in the northern hemisphere, tonight is the longest night of the year. The ‘sun’, so to speak, has gone down, way down, and he will not rise again for three days.

In my younger days, this was one of the best times. Our pagan roots would pour through—parties, drinking, hook-ups that in any other season wouldn’t dare happen. At the coldest time of year, people became unseasonably warm.

These days, I tend to down tools in early December, travel somewhere a few days, watch the year’s best movies, and plot out what’s to come. By the time Jan rolls around, I’ve actioned my new year’s intention, and find myself in a whole new place. _Mentally, geographically, all the rest of it._

I didn’t plan this end-of-year rhythm: it’s just arisen as a natural cycle. Many things have to shift when you grow beyond party culture.

The older I get, the more I see how _shaped_ we are by seasons and rituals. I sense it’s wise to move with them.

*How intentional is your end of year? And how do you welcome the next one?*

This is what we explore on the podcast today.

In fact, I grill Zan on what I’ve always felt to be his most enlightened comment—

*‘Morning is a Promise. Everything you desire is contained within this day.’*

Take a moment to let that sink in. _Morning is a promise._

_Everything you desire is contained within this day._

~ Jordan

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy

____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/

____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/

____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com

____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :

https://amorati.me/free-gift/

____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity

__________________________________________

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How to overcome jealousy toward men who “do better” with women which keeps you from having the kind of life and relationships you desire.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- How being truly loved by even one great woman transforms your relationship to rejection, and the fear of “better men” taking something from you
- Why wanting another man to “dim his light” is a sign of insecurity, and how to shift into genuine masculine confidence and humility
- The surprising reason powerful men don’t exclude or compete—they include—and why this mindset makes you more attractive to women
- How to work with jealousy, fear of loss, and comparison in the moment, so these emotions help you grow instead of sabotaging your relationships

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
02:40 How Zan gradually overcame jealousy (it took years)
12:30 How jealousy hides in men: deep-rooted, subtle, and masked
13:50 Jordan experiencing the power of humility
28:25 When _you_ become the man other men feel jealous of
34:30 How Zan’s success with Diana came from his lack of possessiveness
39:05 The transformative power of feeling fear, loss, and uncertainty

Think of a time you were around a girl you liked, and another guy showed up who commanded her attention more than you did. If you could say anything to that guy, what would it be? Would you tell him to get lost? Would you ask him _how the hell he just did that?_

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
Jealousy is one of those emotions men rarely admit to—and yet it quietly shapes so much of a man’s love life.

When Zan was younger, he felt it too. Jealous of the men who seemed to do better with women. Jealous of the women who chose them instead of him.

But over the years—through heartbreak, decades of travel, relationships with women who truly adored him, and the widening perspective that comes with age—something shifted.

In today’s episode, Zan and Jordan explore jealousy in all its forms: the envy men feel toward each other, the fear of loss that grips the heart, and the uncomfortable intensity of being in the “bear pit” with men who shine a little brighter.

Most importantly, *you’ll learn how jealousy, and the fear associated with it, can be a doorway.* Not something to suppress or something to be ashamed of—but something that, if you let it be felt fully, can transform you into a freer, more grounded, more loving man.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call

Support the show

Send us a text

How to connect with a woman across the room without saying a single word.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- The subtle difference between *desire,* which is honest, free and independent of outcome… and *neediness,* which has a covert agenda and tries to _take_ something
- How to let a woman FEEL you by expressing your desire openly
- How to overcome internal blockages that keep you from expressing your authentic desire
- *4 practical steps* to communicating your desire to a woman across any room, without saying a single word

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
05:45 True desire vs. covert neediness
15:07 Why power games sabotage connection (and how to escape the zero-sum mindset)
26:20 How Zan expresses genuine desire in the moment
37:55 Don’t submit to _her,_ submit to the *third entity:* the force of attraction
41:00 4 indicators of a guy freely expressing his desire to a woman
57:50 Try this if you struggle to sub-communicate with women

Two men are in a room, both interested in the same woman. Their behavior looks identical… but one expresses true desire, while the other carries neediness.

What’s the real difference between them?
Share your insights in the comments.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
Two men are in a room, both interested in the same woman.

The first guy–we’d say his interest comes from a place of *genuine desire.* He loves how the girl looks, and loves even more how her presence in the room makes him feel. Whatever conspires between the two of them, he’ll enjoy his evening.

The second guy–we’d say his interest is laced with *neediness.* He doesn’t actually like the girl–he likes what he can get from her. It could be sex. It could be a smile… a phone number. Validation, ultimately.

It might _look_ like he really likes her, and heck, he might even believe that himself.

An observer looking in wouldn't be able to tell the two guys apart.

But, even though no one’s said a word, the woman has already understood volumes about each of them and sees a world of difference between the two.

You know which guy she’d rather see again. But do you know *why?*

In today’s episode, Zan and Jordan discuss the mechanics of _*desire, expressed*_ in their most detailed and practical breakdown of sub-communication yet.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not)

Support the show

Send us a text

How do you go from feeling uninspired and dissatisfied with life… to becoming a man whose presence naturally attracts, moves, and excites women?

(Abundance in the Land of Women, Episode 44)

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- What 'beauty' really is in the context of attraction
- What a woman needs to feel to be drawn to you
- How Zan’s philosophy of beauty applies to modern dating
- The origin story of the Amorati Guild

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
09:55 ‘Sublime’ as the 'more than ordinary' you seek
22:00 A powerful analogy for attraction: do you move women, or is your presence just kitsch?
31:30 Modern views on beauty vs. Zan’s view—beauty as a real force
37:45 How Zan’s view of beauty evolved into something deeper and more fulfilling
41:10 The value of surrounding yourself with the right people
54:02 The inspiration behind the Amorati Guild
59:05 An invitation to join elevated minds in inspiring conversations like this one

If you're here, chances are you, too, seek something more. Some call it oneness, others God—Zan and Jordan like to use words like communion, devotion, reverence and sublimity.

*How do you fulfil your longing to experience a state of sublimity?* Is there a path to follow? _Is_ there anything you can do? And what role do women play for you in this pursuit?

Comment and share your thoughts with.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
Many men today feel disconnected, uninspired, or stuck in surface-level dating. In this episode, Zan explains how cultivating beauty, presence, and sublimity makes a man naturally more attractive—and why inspired men create more meaningful connections with women.

Zan quotes Longinus, saying the sublime is revealed in music, poetry, and art through something that elevates you. In this sense, beauty is real and perceivable.

Just like you, many women long for contact with the sublime. And many women are deeply dissatisfied with the ordinariness of modern dating and the disappointment of shallow interactions.

What if you represented something different? What if your own pursuit of something greater—something inspiring and exciting—made you a beacon of those same qualities? What if you became her refuge?

These are the questions Zan and Jordan explore inside the Amorati Guild. If you haven’t seen it already, last weekend’s Guild Salon replay is available for a few more days.

You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/Mck6RCeX-9Q

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not

Support the show

Send us a text

Why meeting and dating women frustrates you, how to be yourself around women, and the secret to having fulfilling experiences with women that very few men know.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- The #1 factor that makes a woman fall in love with you
- Where traditional self-improvement falls short in the dance with women
- How real fulfillment comes from the QUALITY of your encounters, not the quantity
- What it means to truly love a woman, and how to tell her (without tricks or antics)

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
04:30 Debunking myths about female-male attraction
07:30 What does a man who loves women look like?
12:29 Example: the energy of a man who loves women
25:25 Where traditional men's work helps — and where it kills — attraction
31:00 Women don't like men who are too rigid
42:30 The kind of power women want you to have over them
51:00 Story: how Zan helped Jordan unlock and express his love for the feminine

Do you love the spirit of women? And can you love that spirit more? Even beyond your better judgment?! Let us know with a comment.

As well as hit it hard in the gym, hustle your way to greater resource, and obsess over elements of ‘the game’… why not come out of the closet about what you’re biologically and spiritually designed to crave?

It would make everyone’s life a lot more… straightforward!

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
What kind of man is loved by women?

A man that first loves, like Scarface did, the money and the power?

A man in love with the length of his workouts and his well-sculpted abs?

A rational man with a tone of boldness and indifference, who sends slightly shorter texts to her than she sends to him?

How about a man who’s cleaning his communication, who reads feminist literature at the matcha café?

Now, what about a man with strong boundaries, who respects himself, who stands committed to some grand commitment, a brother to the brotherhood of brothers?

Mmmmeh. It's our sense that the women of the world can just about hold on.

And though the man with the fat stash is chased by some women… and the post-male male sure sits in a café with a lot of women in it… at its core the universe is unambiguous, direct, and clear:

A man who loves women is loved by women.

That’s it.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship
____________________________________________________

Come join us! Sign up today and enjoy all the perks of the Amorati Membership, including live calls with Zan and his team. Go here: https://www.Amorati.net/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to

Support the show