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Why treating dating as a “journey” quietly destroys love, authenticity and real connection with women—and what to do instead.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
- Why “getting good with women” often leads you away from what you actually want (love, not just sex)
- The subtle harm—to yourself and others—of treating women as steps on a personal growth journey
- Why neediness, manipulation and ego often disguise themselves as “progress”
- How opening the heart changes everything—and how to navigate that messy, incremental and human process

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
06:30 Zan on hiding his fire when he was younger, and how it hurt
12:55 Why men try to babysit women (and why women hate it)
19:30 Self-imposed pain, comparison, and missed opportunities
23:57 How short relationships with beautiful women started Zan’s healing
31:30 Jordan’s early years: heartbreak → power → being the heartbreaker → bitter pills
47:30 Reframe: There is no journey—only you and the woman in front of you
50:45 Why heart matters more than energy or technique
1:01:20 The value of sitting with uncertainty and confusion
1:04:20 Live weekend intensive announcement
1:06:40 The end of this series—and what’s next

*Do you see the women you meet as stepping stones to some future destination… or are you fully with the woman who’s in front of you right now?*

If this conversation resonates, share your reflections in the comments.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
Many men in our circle approach dating as a journey. A path. A process of improvement that will one day deliver them to love, confidence, or mastery with women.

But when women sense they’re being treated ‘merely’ as part of that journey—as a lesson, a test, or a stepping stone—something essential disappears.

This episode explores the quiet damage caused by turning intimacy into a project. Zan and Jordan speak candidly about the confusion, ego, missteps, heartbreak, and slow reckonings that shaped their understanding of love. From hiding one’s fire, to misusing power, to losing the heart entirely and finding it again.

What emerges is a simple truth: there is no journey. There is only the woman in front of you, and the quality of presence, honesty, and heart you bring to that moment.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy
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Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
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Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
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ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social s

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Why women test, and how to pass.
(Hint: it has nothing to do with tactics—and everything to do with truth.)

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- The single quality that women ultimately probe for when they meet a man
- The behavioral nuances most men miss—but women never do
- What Zan wouldn’t do—why the spirit of invitation makes all the difference

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Highlights
02:15 Today’s question
06:55 The quality that sets certain men apart from all others
20:08 Be honest, but not crude – the art of being gentlemanly
22:00 What Would Zan Not Do?
42:15 How truth releases tension and creates openness in a woman
49:45 Women light up when you own your desire and express it
52:00 Another flavor of approach

What part of yourself are you most tempted to hide from a new woman you meet? Share your experience with us.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:
When a woman tests you, she isn’t asking you to perform.

What she wants to know is: are you genuine? Or is there more going on beneath the surface that she can’t see?

Women love to have fun—but trying to figure out whether your interest in her is real, or whether you’re just engaging her for a quick ego boost before disappearing, is not a game she wants to play.

It often surprises men how accepting women are of desires the men themselves have difficulty accepting. It’s not what you want that turns her off. It’s the fact that it scares you.

Today’s episode explores what it means to be trustworthy—and the different flavors desire can take when it’s honestly expressed.

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy
____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/
____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/
____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com
____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :
https://amorati.me/free-gift/
____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity
____________________________________________________

ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.

Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social structures. And it belongs to all of you.

Philosophers throughout the ages have argued whether beauty is objective or subjective, but in my view, beauty is neither. It is neither inherent as a property of the object (the objective view) nor is it in the eye of the beholder (the subjective view). Beauty is a third thing altogether.

Beauty is prime. It stands alone. It is a thing apart, in Kant's words: a Thing-In-Itself (Ding an sich). Beauty emanates from what Aristotle called the Unmoved Mover, what Plotinus called The One, what scientists call the Big Bang, and what John in the New Testament called the Word or Logos.

Ars Amorata is an attempt to lift Beauty to its rightful pla

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Send us a text

You hear the call to adventure—how to answer it through travel without blowing up your relationships or career.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

- The difference between travelling to consume vs. to reveal something hidden within you—and how _real_ travel changes who you are

- North, East, West and South as archetypes—what each offers a man, and what a balanced traveller looks like

- Why a strong call to adventure won’t leave you until something in you has transformed (and how suffering comes from suppressing it)

- How *clearly identifying* what you’re seeking can dramatically reduce the time, money, and energy your journey requires

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Highlights

02:00 Thoughts on the first Amorati Guild call and _culture creation_

10:20 How to leave as one man and return as another

16:50 Escape vs. adventure

22:35 You’re probably in one of these 3 stages

37:10 The archetypal North, East, West and South

39:55 Brazil as a case study

48:30 From Zan’s client: “I have a burning desire for adventure… but I also have a great girl in my life”

What desire is burning inside of you? Let us know in the comments.

ABOUT THIS VIDEO:

*In this week’s podcast, we begin to guide you through different models of initiation.*

Some highlights:

*1.* How different life stages require us to complete certain tasks of maturation,

*2.* How the place in the world that you’re drawn to represents the missing facet within your soul,

*3.* How you probably don’t need the size and scale of adventure you imagine. When you understand what your psyche’s calling for, you can often shorten and direct the adventure, and keep the girl… _if you truly want to._

There’s no relationship status that will rescue you from the mythical, psychospiritual urge for initiation.

But you don’t have to blow up your relationship so you can wander. In fact, knowing exactly what you’re seeking doesn’t just raise the chances of your trip being a success… it can evoke from everyone around you the empathy (and challenge) that you need.

Though most people, these days, travel completely in the dark. Impulse, without reflection.

Enjoy the episode.

And, if you’d like to go deeper into this territory, _The Art of Initiatory Travel_ will be the topic of our next Weekend Intensive.

January 10th + 11th, online.

Available to members of the Amorati Guild.

~ Jordan

#zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy

____________________________________________________

Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/

____________________________________

Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/

____________________________________

Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com

____________________________________

Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 :

https://amorati.me/free-gift/

____________________________________

Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity

_________________________________

Support the show