Episode 18: Grief Made Me Quieter

Losing my mom didn't just leave an empty place in my life. It changed me.

I became stronger in ways I never wanted to be. But something else happened, too. I became quieter.

In this deeply personal episode of The Amber Dea Lux Show, I'm sharing the story of my mother's final moments, the strange significance of a Tuesday, and what I've learned about grief long after the flowers are gone and everyone has returned to their lives.

We talk about the grief nobody sees. The unexpected memories, the guilt of feeling happy again, and those little moments when you still reach for the phone to tell someone something—only to remember they're no longer there.

I've learned that grief doesn't necessarily get smaller. We just learn to carry it differently.

And perhaps the biggest realization of all?

You don't have to stop missing someone to start living again.

This isn't an episode about getting over loss or finding some beautiful lesson in death. It's simply an honest conversation about loving someone, losing them, and discovering who you become afterward.

Because sometimes the strongest people are carrying the quietest grief.

💋 The Amber Dea Lux Show with Ms. Amber O.

Real life. Real conversations. No pretending we have it all figured out.

Episode 17 — Maybe I Need to Get Out of My Own Damn Way

Do you ever have so many ideas, plans and things you want to do that you somehow end up doing none of them?

Yeah. Me too.

In this episode of The Amber Dea Lux Show, my overthinking brain is working overtime. I’m talking about the frustration of having big ideas but struggling to follow through, the weird discomfort I feel promoting my own podcast, and that lovely little voice called impostor syndrome asking, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

At this stage of life, we’re juggling grown kids, aging parents, relationships, work, our changing bodies—and somewhere in there, we’re still trying to figure out what we want.

I don’t want to spend the next decade planning, researching, second-guessing and waiting until I feel completely ready.

Maybe I don’t need another plan.

Maybe I need to get out of my own damn way.

Less thinking. More doing.

And when my brain asks, “But what if it doesn’t work?”

Maybe the answer is simply:

I don’t frickin' know. Let’s find out.

And always remember to stay sexy. 💋

www.amberdealux.com

@amberdealux

What does it actually mean when you say, “I don’t feel like myself anymore”?

Do you need to change something—or are you just restless? Do you really want another career? Should you start the new project? Remodel the house? Get serious about your fitness again? And why do decisions that once felt exciting suddenly feel so much scarier when there’s retirement, health insurance, money, relationships and a whole life you’ve already built to consider?

At 58, I’ve made some pretty damn big changes in my life. I’ve left relationships, given up homes, moved, started over and even moved to another country.

So why does change feel so intimidating now?

In this episode of The Amber Dea Lux Show, I’m not giving you five steps to reinvent your life. I’m talking this one through right along with you.

We’re getting into career changes, new projects, fitness when your body doesn’t always cooperate, our strange urge to remodel our surroundings when we feel restless, other people’s opinions, acting our age—whatever the hell that means—and the difference between listening to advice and needing everyone’s approval.

And maybe the question isn’t really, “Who am I?”

Maybe it’s:

What makes me feel like me—and is there enough of that in the life I’m living?

This is the Stay Sexy Standard in real life. Not staying young. Not blowing everything up in the name of reinvention. Staying involved in your own damn life while being brave enough to change the parts that no longer fit.

Maybe restlessness isn’t always a problem that needs fixing.

Maybe it’s worth listening to.

🎙️ The Amber Dea Lux Show — Episode 16: I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore

Stay strong. Stay curious. Stay confident. Stay adventurous. Stay you.

And always remember… stay sexy. 💋

www.amberdealux.com