It's episode 8 of Roll The Balls Out, in which we find out which current South Christian teacher has been onstage with an Australian rock band. Hint: it was neither AC/DC nor INXS. Other Australian rock bands: Crowded House, Cut Copy, Men At Work, Jet, Midnight Oil, Tame Impala, and... Regurgitator? Wow. Seems like a great band if you're a gastroenterologist. Don't worry though. There's a lot more in the episode besides gastroenterology.

OK, I have to come clean. There's no gastroenterology in this episode. Not even a mention of it. I made that up totally. But it is a solid career if you're a student and looking to go into a particular medical field. You can learn more about gastroenterology here.

This episode brought to you by Kerstetter Painting, run by arguably the most handsome man at South Christian and the front man for hot new band Kerstetter and the Fresh Coats.

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RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW

Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel

Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee

Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas

Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes

Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University)

Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs

Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson

Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball

Official Hunting Guide and Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga

Bald but Still Respected: David Kool

Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff

Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post

GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad

Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis

I mean I've seen tall guys before but get a load of this guy: Todd Schrotenboer

Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell

Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek

Secretary of Luxurious Facial Hair: John Hendrikse

"This is your time. Their time -- is done. It's over."

-Herb Brooks, Coach, 1980 Gold-Medal Winning Hockey Team

"...But it'll probably be their time again next week, just to be clear."

-Producer Marc

We've spent a lot of time on the podcast with the sports folks, but now it's time to turn our attention to the theater. And what better time to do that than right now, as we anticipate the debut of South Christian's version of Seussical, showing from March 5-7 in our fantastic Auditorium! (You can purchase your tickets here.)

Because the writer of the show notes is also the Auditorium Manager and has a full plate this week getting ready for the show, we're going to keep the notes short this week. So suffice it to say that in this episode we have - for the first time ever on the podcast - mystery guests, not just a mystery guest. Curt Copeland tells a story about going to the theater for a broadway show with his wife, only to try to leave at intermission because he thought the show was done (My favorite detail: his claim that he got "spruced up" for his trip to the theater by "putting on a shirt"), while VK displays a sort of surprising level of knowledge about and affection for Les Miserables. Also there's some inside baseball between Joel and mystery guest 7.5 about Premiere League soccer, leading many to wonder why we aren't just talking about Baseball. This is America, after all.

Don't forget to send in your comments to rtbo@schs.org for your chance to get some sweet sponsor swag or perhaps one of those signed 8x10 glossy promo photos of the hosts, which we're sure are soon to be the most in-demand podcast glossy promo photos ever produced by a largely unknown high school podcast!

RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW

Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKoppel

Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee

Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas

Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes

Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University)

Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs

Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson

Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball

Official Hunting Guide, Inspiration for the novella A River Runs Through It (probably), and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga

Bald but Still Respected: David Kool

Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff

Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post

GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad

Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis

Seriously, have you seen this dude? He’s really tall: Todd Schrotenboer

Drama Coordinator: Reba Ezell

Drama Supplier, Professional Elephant: Malachi VandeStreek

You know it’s another action packed episode of Roll The Balls Out, Right? Like, you’re coming to expect this on a weekly basis at this point? Is this thing on?

Yes. Yes it is.

This week’s mystery guest is a member of the species Homo sapiens, breathes air, has athletic links, and I think we can all agree without knowing a single thing more about him or her that given the opportunity they would turn VK into a real-life version of that old “Best Volleyball Blocks Ever with Scott Sterling” sketch (love that man) that everyone should enjoy on YouTube at some point in their life.

Wait, you haven’t seen the Scott Sterling thing? Really? Seriously, go to YouTube and search for it. Don’t worry, we’ll wait.

[Patiently waits; Chuckles at “WELCOME TO THE HEAVYWEIGHT BOUT BETWEEN SCOTT STERLING’S FACE, AND EVERYTHING ELSE!”]

Oh good, you’re back.

In keeping with our well established podcast tradition we have Stee Stories, the weekly segment in which we honor the memory of Mark Van Stee (our beloved late colleague and the originator of our show title); we also welcome back RTBO Instagram Coordinator and Resident Chicken Finger Quality Analyst at the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology Dr. Gabby Miller (who sports a Master of Science in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics from Baylor University) to comment on the massive Raising Cane’s scandal currently engulfing the show (we have to note that VandeKopple's lumping together of Cane's and Wendy's is basically indefensible); and Producer Marc really brings the juice with his super smooth upgraded version of the Producer Notes segment in which he reveals RTBO’s plans for continued podcast domination of the North African coastal region.

[HASHTAG SCOTT STERLING]

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RTBO HIGHLY PAID, DEEPLY SKILLED & COMPLETELY PROFESSIONAL CREW

Hosts: Curt Copeland & Joel VandeKopple

Honorary Executive Producer & Show Founder: Mark Van Stee

Strikingly Handsome Executive Editor, Managing Producer, SFX Coordinator, Staff Writer, Script Supervisor, Music Director & Host of Award-Winning Producer Notes Segment: Marc Vander Maas

Executive Producer, Official Show Disciplinarian, and Crisis Communications Manager for When The Show Gets Too Embarrassing for the School: Aaron Meckes

Instagram Coordinator and Director of the RTBO Institute for the Advancement of Poultry Science and Technology: Dr. Gabby Miller (M.S. in Sauce Integration & Chicken Strip Dynamics, Baylor University)

Director, RTBO Foundation: Sandy Dobbs

Stylist, Fashion Coordinator, Swag Manager, and Guy Who Gets Blamed For The Coupon Codes Even Though It’s Not Really His Fault: Taylor Johnson

Art Director and Image Coordination: Morgan Ball

Official Hunting Guide, Guy We’d Trust To Protect Us From The Predator, and Bringer of Juice: Bruce Huttenga

Bald but Still Respected: David Kool

Washington Correspondent: Teresa VanderSchaff

Finance Director Frantically Trying to Cover the Immense Cost of All The Coupon Codes: Maelia Post

GET TO DA CHOPPA: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Official Totally Awesome Mid-80s BMX Bike-based Sports Drama: Rad

Director of Transportation and Facilities Manager: “Big Hands” Mike Wolthuis

Tallest Man in Gaines Township, Michigan: Todd Schrotenboer

It's another heart-pounding episode of Roll The Balls Out, this time brought to you by Todd's Tapes, a great local business that apparently has a website but VandeKopple fails to mention what that website is during his "excellent" ad read, so we'll mention it here: toddstapes.com.

ANYHOO, other stuff happens on this episode beside an ad that doesn't tell you how to contact the vendor. There's the standard previous show highlights, an SC Food Service shoutout (yum), and our latest mystery guest - this time, a former SC student and soccer player who currently attends Calvin University. (This of course leads to more shade thrown at Hope by the incredibly erudite, insightful and handsome Calvin grads who graciously allow former Hope student Copeland to be on the show.) As usual, the conversation kind of goes off the rails - although, speaking of rails, our guest reveals that given their choice, their Winter Olympic sport would be luge, or maybe ski jumping, which are both awesome. The guest also gives what may go down in history as the single worst shout-out ever attempted, one so bad that it required Producer Marc to step in and make what may go down in history as the smoothest, most seamless cover-up edit ever attempted.

In other news, VK has decided to pick a fight with Producer Marc, and he's going to learn a hard lesson about getting on the bad side of the person who 1) controls the sound effects and 2) writes the episode descriptions.

In a flagrant display of hubris, Copeland and VandeKopple allow show producer Marc Vander Maas to have a microphone of his own. The good news is that he delivers the first VIEWER MAILBAG segment (rtbo@schs.org, of course) and reveals that the show is IMPACTING HUGE in Tunisia (with a single download). The bad news is that it makes for a more chaotic environment for this week's mystery guest, who A) is (or at least was) good at a sport, b) is employed by a local high school that may or may not be South Christian, and c) is either male or female, but because the writer of the show notes is more subtle and crafty than Mr. VandeKopple, he's not going to give that information away at all.

Other topics of discussion: Mr. Kroeze's free-throw shooting ability, whether Mr. Kroeze could beat the Mystery Guest in a free-throw shooting competition (not even the slightest chance), Raising Cane's and fast-food chicken in general, and, if the Mystery Guest were in a high-stress situation where their arms were heavy, knees week, and palms sweaty, what fast-food item would be represented in the vomit that was on their sweater already, assuming that mom wasn't able to make her famous spaghetti that day. All this and MUCH MORE in this action packed episode of Roll the Balls Out!

This week's episode sponsored by Clean Kicks Shoe Cleaning; Tessa does great work but even she may not be able to handle VK's shoes. You can find her on instagram @cleankicksshoecleaning or drop an email to cleankicksshoecleaning@gmail.com for... you know... shoe cleaning.

This week, we learn that Curt Copeland believes that, given the proper circumstances, he could "make an impact" on the world of Olympic speed skating. We also learn that he's "at least ten years past his athletic prime" and "potentially delusional," a fact confirmed by our latest MYSTERY GUEST, who also helps us prove beyond any reasonable doubt that Calvin University is superior to Hope College in pretty much every significant way.

We are also introduced to the important work of the Roll the Balls Out Foundation, which doesn't actually exist and does no work at all to the best of our knowledge, but it sounds cool and could possibly help to fund a pair of skates for Mr. Copeland at some point in the future, or maybe a scholarship so he can take a class at Calvin and finally get a REAL college education AMIRIGHT? (Hang in there Cope - maybe someday you'll land that dream job at CourtMenders!)

Don't forget to email us at rtbo@schs.org with your questions, comments, or demands that we roll out some sweet sweet RTBO merch for you to impress your friends and family with!

This week on Roll The Balls Out!, we welcome our first student guest and force them to say who their favorite teacher is, which can only lead to awkwardness at school when the episode releases; the student also quizzes Copeland and VandeKopple on current teen slang, which - let's be honest - is also awkward. But none of that can happen until after an oddly long discussion of the largest member of the Pike family and the equipment needed to catch them (brought to you by this weeks sponsor, Muskie Bandit Baits).

Plus: Are you a listener? Do you have feedback? Are we gonna have a "listener mailbag" segment if listeners send us email? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. But if we're going to do that, we need an email address, so here it is: rtbo@schs.org. Please be kind.

Many people have wondered what would happen if the P.E. department was given access to microphones and a broadcasting platform; many more have never even contemplated such a thing; the truly wise among us have recoiled in horror at the thought and have worked very hard to ensure that such a thing would never happen. But they have failed.

Welcome to Roll The Balls Out, a brand-new podcast for the South Christian High School community!

In this episode, Mr. Copeland and Mr. VandeKopple join forces to create an unstoppable podcasting juggernaut, and welcome their first surprise guest - a teacher who is coming up on their 40th anniversary at South and tells us the secret to getting hired at a Christian school in the 80s (hint: you need to know the person at The Banner who publishes the employment section).

This episode sponsored by The Sailor Store, which, to the best of my knowledge, does not know that it is a sponsor and has not yet shared a legitimate coupon code with us.