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  • From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood

    From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood
    Mar 4 2026
    If you’ve ever had a toddler throw themselves on the floor because you cut their toast the wrong way, you know how intense those early years can be. But what if toddlerhood isn’t something to survive? What if it’s one of the richest seasons for growth—both for our kids and for us? Today on Raising Men, Shaun sits down with Devon Kuntzman, parenting coach, author of Transforming Toddlerhood, and the leading voice helping parents move from chaos to connection. Devon brings practical tools, mindset reframes, and compassionate strategies that help parents decode behavior, regulate themselves, and raise confident, emotionally healthy kids. Key Takeaways1. Reframing the “Terrible Twos”: Why culture primes us to expect chaos, and how fear shapes our experience of toddlerhood. 2. Behavior as Communication: Toddlers aren’t being “bad”—they’re expressing needs, emotions, and limitations in brain development. 3. Emotional Regulation for Parents: How to avoid jumping on your child’s “emotional roller coaster.” 4. Healthy, Developmentally Smart Discipline: Limits + connection + teaching skills = effective discipline. 5. Collaboration, Not Control: Using collaborative problem-solving with older toddlers (3–4+) to create buy-in and reduce conflict. All behavior is communication. Toddlers aren’t being bad—they’re having a hard time.Control is an illusion. Parenting through fear creates compliance, not skills.Practice makes progress. Every moment is another chance to try again.Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Observe and Describe, Not Catastrophise00:30 — Welcome & Meet Devin Kuntzman01:05 — Rethinking the “Terrible Twos”02:04 — When We Look for Problems, We Find Them03:10 — Problems as Opportunities for Growth03:38 — Toddlerhood as a Critical Developmental Window04:35 — Younger vs. Older Toddlers05:31 — Behaviour Is Communication06:20 — Lower Brain vs. Upper Brain07:04 — Why Toddlers Aren’t Manipulating You08:10 — Staying Out of the Emotional Roller Coaster08:56 — Establish Safety First09:40 — The Fear Loop Parents Fall Into10:40 — Ego, Judgment, and Parenting Stress11:25 — Observe and Describe in Action12:47 — Teaching Skills Instead of Punishing Behaviour13:35 — Responding Differently Based on Intensity14:22 — Emotional Skills Are Still Skills15:20 — Tantrums and Loss of Control16:34 — Less Is More During Meltdowns17:40 — Moving Forward After Setting a Limit18:31 — Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences20:31 — Waiting Until the Brain Comes Back Online22:30 — Fear-Based Compliance vs. Skill Building24:02 — Regulating Yourself First25:10 — Practical Grounding Techniques for Parents26:15 — Repairing After You Lose It28:02 — The Four-Step Repair Process30:13 — “Wind the Clock”31:32 — Disrupting the Stress Cycle32:40 — Giving Yourself Grace as a Parent33:51 — Windshield vs. Rearview Mirror Parenting35:00 — Control vs. Connection35:43 — When Control Becomes an Illusion37:58 — Compliance, Fear, and Hiding Behaviour39:20 — What Positive Discipline Really Means39:54 — Meeting Needs Within Limits41:36 — Collaborative Problem Solving43:40 — Coaching Instead of Refereeing45:45 — Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything46:45 — One Operating Principle: Everyone Is Doing Their Best47:29 — Closing ReflectionsSupporting ContentTransforming Toddlerhood (Book) — https://transformingtoddlerhood.com/book/(Referenced throughout the episode as Devon discusses its chapters, frameworks, and principles.) raising-men-recording-with-devo…Transforming Toddlerhood (Website) — https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhood — https://www.instagram.com/transformingtoddlerhood/Frameworks MentionedObserve & Describe — Nonjudgmental narration to interrupt assumptions. Recipe for Healthy, Effective Discipline:ConnectionLimitFollow-throughTeaching skills Four-Step Repair Process (from Devon’s book, pg. ~49): Take ownershipCheck in on impactApologizeRedo (state what you’ll do next time)Concepts ReferencedYounger vs. Older Toddlers (ages 1–2 vs. 3–4, differences in language + brain maturity)Collaborative Problem Solving — Inviting toddlers to generate solutions. Emotional Contagion — Why parent regulation is the first step in child regulation. Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences — And why toddlers don’t connect punishment with behavior. Grounding Strategies for Parents — Breathing, sensory check-ins, movement or stillness based on temperament.
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    48 Min.
  • What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North

    What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North
    Feb 25 2026
    Ryan North, co-founder of One Big Happy Home, shares his journey raising six children—four of whom were adopted from the child welfare system—and how those experiences shaped his trauma-informed approach to parenting. This episode explores the "connection-first" methodology, the essential balance between nurture and structure, and the vital distinction between raising "nice" boys and "good" men.1. Why Trauma-Informed Parenting Matters for Every DadRyan explains why trauma-informed principles apply far beyond adoption and foster care — because every child faces adversity, stress, and emotional wounds in today’s world. 2. Connection vs. ControlRyan breaks down why traditional discipline focuses on control, but healing and strong fatherhood come from prioritizing connection — without sliding into permissiveness. 3. The Power of “Yes When We Can, No When We Must”He shares the philosophy that shaped his home: saying yes when it builds relationship, and saying no only when it’s truly in the child’s long-term best interest. 4. Raising Boys in a Digital, Post-Pandemic, AI-Distracted WorldFrom screen addiction to AI “companions,” Ryan reveals why today is the hardest era in 100+ years to be a child — and how dads can anchor their sons in stability, presence, and emotional safety. r5. What It Means to Raise Good Men (Not Just “Nice” Ones)Ryan draws a powerful distinction between “nice” men and “good” men — and how fathers can raise sons who protect, provide, and lead with courage and compassion.Quotes by Ryan North“Authority isn’t about control — it’s about trust.”“The point of parenting is not to make my life easy — the point of parenting is to develop another person.”“We’re not trying to raise nice men. We’re trying to raise good men — the kind who run into the burning building, not film it for likes.”Timestamps 00:00 — Holding Kids to Adult Standards00:30 — Welcome & Meet Ryan North01:10 — What Drew Ryan Into Trauma-Informed Care02:10 — Parenting Adopted and Biological Children the Same Way03:20 — Connection vs. Compliance04:17 — Why This Isn’t Permissive Parenting05:10 — Parenting Isn’t Meant to Be Convenient06:06 — Saying Yes When You Can, No When You Must07:24 — The Swaddling Metaphor08:20 — Secure Attachment Creates Confident Exploration10:04 — Proof of Concept: Parenting Over Time12:19 — Challenging Limiting Labels12:46 — Small Traumas Still Matter13:30 — Harmful Parenting Beliefs We Inherit14:42 — Children Are Fragile and Capable of Resilience15:55 — Parenting in a Digital, AI-Driven World17:51 — Trauma vs. Adversity18:45 — You’re the Parent, Not Their Friend19:09 — Authority Without Fear or Control20:15 — Screen Boundaries Explained, Not Enforced21:30 — Calm Presence in Conflict23:13 — Saying Yes to Needs, Not Wants25:15 — Withholding Connection Is Not Discipline27:12 — Defiance vs. Addiction29:09 — Behaviour Is Communication30:41 — Why “Crying It Out” Causes Harm32:40 — How Behaviour Becomes a Strategy35:29 — Teaching Independence Through Dependence37:15 — The Danger of Raising “Nice” Men39:01 — Raising Men Who Protect and Lead41:02 — Protection, Provision, and Presence42:53 — Male Mental Health and Suicide44:45 — Choosing the Right Partner Matters47:09 — Parenting as a Partnership48:35 — The “Pineapple” Exit Strategy50:00 — Planning Outside the Moment53:12 — Kids Learn What We Model55:10 — Teaching the Art of Repair57:33 — Repairing Relationships After Rupture01:01:48 — What a “Happy Home” Really Means01:02:48 — Operating Principle: Curiosity Over Judgment01:03:17 — Final Reflections01:05:07 — Closing CreditsSupporting ContentSecure Base / Attachment Research – foundational attachment science discussed when exploring dependence → independence.Nurture + Structure = Felt Safety – illustrated through the “baby swaddle” metaphor.“Yes When We Can, No When We Must” Parenting Framework — Ryan’s family rule.“Pineapple Strategy” – A pre-agreed cue between Ryan and his wife to step out of heated moments with dignity.Apology Framework (Own it → Say sorry → Ask forgiveness → Commit to do better) — modeled to his children and now mirrored back by them.The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/730610/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt/One Big Happy Home Website https://www.onebighappyhome.com/One Big Happy Home Podcast https://www.onebighappyhome.com/podcast/
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  • Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

    Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst
    Feb 18 2026
    In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, a psychologist with decades of experience working with preschool boys often mislabeled as "problematic". They explore the "emotional desert" many boys are forced into by a culture that unintentionally shames their natural sensitivity. Dr. Vanderhorst explains how parents can move beyond surface-level behavior to address the root emotional needs of their sons, ultimately helping them grow into men of both strength and tenderness.Key TakeawaysThe Myth of the Stoic Infant: Contrary to popular belief, boys are born with a broader range of emotional expression than girls. However, because mothers and nannies often have a narrower emotional range, they may unintentionally discourage a boy's intense reactions, leading the infant to "narrow the room" and limit his own expressions for safety.Comfort vs. Brittleness: Shaming a boy for crying (e.g., telling a three-year-old to "stop being a baby") does not make him strong; it makes him "brittle". Providing comfort and strategies for handling injury or loss builds genuine resilience, allowing him to experience emotion without being overwhelmed by it.The "Conan" Brain vs. The Modern World: Society often trains boys to remain in a "Conan the Barbarian" state—aggressive, brave, and cut off from fear. While this was once adaptive for survival, it is maladaptive in modern life, making intimate emotional relationships nearly impossible for men who can only access irritation or anger.The Masculine Ritual of Safety: Unlike women, who often dive directly into emotional sharing, men typically require a "ritual" of posturing before feeling safe. They often need to establish their status or success in the room before they feel comfortable enough to bring their sorrows or worries into the light.Decoding the "Root Cause": Behavioral outbursts are often signals of underlying needs. For example, a child obsessing over a cell phone or a specific shirt may actually be expressing a powerful need to "belong" or feel included with their peers. Addressing the root cause can "flip the switch" and resolve the behavioral conflict immediately.Pull Quotes"Infants are emotionally brilliant—it's their only survival mechanism. So they read the room perfectly.""The culture that we live in tells us that boys are to narrow their emotional expression... We rob them of that capability, and we do it intentionally.""If you don't do it on purpose [reflection], it'll happen accidentally in ways that are usually bad."Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Therapy Is More Accessible Than You Think00:40 — Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst01:20 — The Emotional Desert Boys Grow Up In02:02 — Boys Are Born With a Broader Emotional Spectrum03:15 — How Caregiving Shapes Emotional Expression04:17 — A Classroom Example: Male vs. Female Emotional Response05:46 — Emotional Correction Starts in Infancy07:40 — Playground Parenting Reveals the Pattern08:18 — Emotional Sensitivity Is a Male Strength09:25 — When Culture Mislabels Emotion as a Problem11:05 — The Caveman Model of Masculinity11:48 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes13:44 — The Cost of Losing Tenderness14:12 — Anger as a Secondary Emotion15:36 — Why Anger Doesn’t Solve Modern Problems16:20 — The Core Emotional Wound in Men17:01 — Divorce, Prison, and Emotional Silence18:03 — Why Men Don’t Disclose to Other Men18:15 — Masculinity, Power, and the Fear of Softness19:37 — You Don’t Lose Strength—You Add to It20:45 — Introducing the Book: Read, Reflect, Respond21:39 — Why Words Aren’t Enough for Healing22:37 — Scribbling, Drawing, and Emotional Truth23:14 — “Are You Your Own Con Artist?”24:33 — When Unprocessed History Hijacks the Present25:51 — The Danger of Justifying Pain Instead of Healing It27:23 — Therapy Beyond the Couch29:06 — Men, Therapy, and Community29:58 — Posturing Before Vulnerability31:45 — Rituals of Emotional Safety for Men32:52 — Emotional Safety vs. Physical Safety33:34 — First Steps for Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys35:20 — A Story of Shame at the Playground36:05 — Why Suppressing Emotion Creates Fragility36:45 — Suicide and Emotional Suppression37:57 — Is Emotional Progress Happening?38:44 — The Hidden Cost of Screens39:45 — The Uncontrolled Experiment on Children41:03 — Limits Aren’t Enough—Engagement Matters42:34 — Creativity as Emotional Nutrition44:24 — Addressing the Root Need: Belonging45:07 — Meeting Needs Without Giving the Device46:00 — A Shirt, a Buffet, and Emotional Insight47:23 — Belonging as a Core Emotional Theme48:31 — Helping Kids Reframe Differences as Strengths49:41 — One Operating Principle: Expand Feeling Vocabulary50:51 — Emotions as a Learnable Language51:48 — Building Emotional Rituals at Home52:50 — Closing ReflectionsResources, Links, and Concepts MentionedBook: Read Reflect Respond: The 3 R's of Growth and Change by Dr. Gloria ...
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    53 Min.
  • Regulate Before You Relate: The Inner Work of Raising Men with Jonny Miller

    Regulate Before You Relate: The Inner Work of Raising Men with Jonny Miller
    Feb 11 2026
    In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every "magic button" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be "beaten into submission," but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families.Key TakeawaysThe Nervous System is the "Upstream" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must "grind" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are "numb from the neck down," missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a "2 or 3 out of 10" rather than an "11 out of 10" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.Reducing the "Half-Life" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your "window of tolerance" in minutes.Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to "think" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging "bottom-up" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.Paying Off "Emotional Debt": Repressing emotions to "get the job done" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from "grinding" to "courageous curiosity" allows men to metabolize this debt and reclaim a sense of aliveness and joy.Quotes from Jonny Miller"The nervous system is quite literally the lens through which we experience life.""Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house where her children aren't welcome.""All leadership is ultimately self-leadership."Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Kids and Emotional Fluidity00:27 — What Is Nervous System Mastery?01:53 — Grit, Hustle, and the Problem With Suppression03:59 — Reducing the Half-Life of Reactivity05:51 — Leadership Starts With Self-Regulation07:09 — When Kids Trigger What We Can’t Control09:09 — Why We Try to Fix Other People’s Emotions10:57 — Interoception: Awareness of the Inner World12:48 — Interoception vs. Introspection13:30 — The Daily “Internal Weather Report”15:48 — Parenting in the Weeds17:40 — Curiosity Without Judgment19:06 — Emotional Fluidity vs. Emotional Manipulation20:44 — Kids Learn What We Model, Not What We Say21:30 — Teaching Children to Trust Their Inner Signals22:48 — Practicing Awareness Throughout the Day24:45 — NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest)26:07 — Where to Learn NSDR28:03 — Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Regulation29:36 — Why Body-Based Practices Work Better30:46 — Outside-In Regulation: Designing Your Environment32:18 — Co-Regulation: Why Connection Heals34:16 — Anxiety as Constriction36:13 — Emotional Debt and Burnout37:37 — What Changes for High-Achieving Men39:34 — Deep Somatic Work and Emotional Excavation41:18 — Making Time Creates More Time41:33 — One Practice for Immediate Regulation43:34 — Boundaries, Calendars, and Spaciousness45:08 — Presence as a Competitive Advantage47:06 — Distraction, Rage Bait, and Emotional Hooking49:21 — Interoception as an Antidote to Screens51:36 — The Opportunity Hidden in Modern Overstimulation53:13 — One Operating Principle: Embrace Emotional Intensity54:23 — Regulating Kids by Regulating Ourselves55:14 — Making Space for Anger56:33 — Screaming Together: A Story of Co-Regulation57:25 — Closing ReflectionsResources, Tools, & Concepts MentionedNSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): A guided body scan popularized by Andrew Huberman that provides the recovery equivalent of two hours of sleep in just 30 minutes.State Shifts: An app featuring recordings for nervous system regulation.Physiological Sigh: A breathing protocol used to rapidly down-regulate the system.Orienting Practice: A quick grounding tool: name three things you see, two you hear, and one you feel.Yoga Nidra: A restorative practice for cultivating high-definition internal awareness.People to Follow: Andrew Huberman: For the science of NSDR and the physiological sigh.Ally Boothroyd: Recommended for her Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.Joe Hudson: Creator of the "Joy as the Matriarch" metaphor.Where to find Jonny: Website: https://nsmastery.com/Podcast: The Inner Frontier https://open.spotify.com/show/1lGD5wIfhnE4bepja42C9S
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    58 Min.
  • Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph

    Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph
    Feb 4 2026
    In this episode, Shaun Dawson sits down with Steve Biddulph, a world-renowned psychologist, educator, and author of the global bestsellers Raising Boys and The New Manhood. With over three decades of experience, Steve explores the "quiet crisis" facing boys today—from school environments that disadvantage their slower biological development to a digital landscape that is rewriting the rules of adolescence. This conversation is a roadmap for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy sons of character, courage, and conviction.Key TakeawaysThe Biological Development Gap: Testosterone in the womb slows male development; by the time boys reach school age, they are often 6 to 12 months behind girls in speech and fine motor skills.The Case for "Holding Back": Many boys benefit significantly from starting school one year later, allowing them to match the maturity of their female peers and avoid a lifelong trajectory of restlessness and academic discouragement.Mirror Learning & Masculine Virtues: Qualities like patience and kindness are "caught, not taught." Boys need thousands of hours of male company to absorb these complex, nonverbal skills through their nervous systems.Combating Digital Miseducation: Parents must actively counter the harmful "algorithmic" effects of social media and the "miseducation" of pornography by setting firm boundaries—such as no devices in bedrooms and supporting under-16 social media bans.The Father as a Safety Anchor: A father’s most important role is to be a "safety go-to guy". True strength lies in a father’s ability to manage his own strong feelings so his son never feels the need to protect himself from his own father.Quotes "You give a man the right help, he will turn around.""I made sure he knew what a good man looked like because you can't turn into one if you've never seen one." (Quoting a single mother’s wisdom on role models)"A good kid is a still kid... but his body's screaming." (On the physical difficulty boys face sitting at desks in traditional classrooms)Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — “That Book Saved My Life”00:34 — The Quiet Crisis Facing Boys01:12 — Meet Steve Biddulph01:56 — The Family Therapy Breakthrough03:59 — Fathers Who Loved but Couldn’t Connect4:47 — Personal Grief and the Awakening06:11 — When Men Don’t Know How to Support Each Other07:28 — Why Boys Start School at a Disadvantage08:26 — Testosterone Slows Male Development09:45 — Boys Are Born Vulnerable10:38 — A One-Year Developmental Gap11:55 — Language, Fine Motor Skills, and Shame12:28 — “Just Hold Him Back a Year”13:33 — Sean’s Story: Skipped Grades and Silent Anxiety15:30 — The Power of Repeating a Year16:23 — When Big Bodies Create Unrealistic Expectations17:44 — How Boys’ Bodies Develop18:28 — “Move Me”19:29 — What Boy-Friendly Schools Do Differently20:58 — Father Absence and Modern Reality21:26 — Single Mothers Have Always Raised Good Men23:05 — “He Needs to See What a Good Man Looks Like”25:09 — Recruiting Male Role Models27:04 — Men Will Say Yes When Asked28:10 — What Makes a “Good Man”?29:18 — Patience Is a Physical Skill30:50 — Mirror Learning and Role Modelling31:46 — The Digital Wild West33:22 — Australia’s Under-16 Social Media Ban35:06 — Parenting Against the Herd36:55 — Talking to Kids About Pornography38:23 — Devices Out of Bedrooms39:40 — One Operating Principle for Raising Men40:23 — Hurt Creates Hurt41:00 — Be Your Child’s Safe Place41:51 — Final Reflections42:39 — Closing CreditsResources, Concepts, and Books MentionedRaising Boys in the 21st Century by Steve Biddulph https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Raising-Boys-in-the-21st-Century/Steve-Biddulph/9780648226734The New Manhood by Steve Biddulph https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-New-Manhood/Steve-Biddulph/9781760851156Iron John: A Book About Men by Robert Bly https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-About-Men/dp/0306813769Father Hunger / The Father Wound: The deep psychological impact of an absent or emotionally distant fatherMirror Learning: The process by which children absorb behaviors and emotional rhythms by observing role modelsCore Strength vs. Fine Motor Development: The biological difference where boys develop from the "core outwards," meaning finger control for writing often develops last.Heads Up Alliance: https://www.headsup.org.uk/ A movement encouraging school communities to delay giving children smartphones.Connect with Steve BiddulphWebsite: https://www.stevebiddulph.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stevebiddulphraisingboysRaising Girls community https://www.facebook.com/stevebiddulphraisinggirlsRaising Boys community https://www.facebook.com/pages/Steve-Biddulphs-Raising-Boys/673349469396922
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    43 Min.
  • Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had

    Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had
    Jan 28 2026
    Retired Green Beret and Wild Ops Box founder Aaron Blaine joins Raising Men to talk about the battles he faced long before combat — growing up fatherless, angry, and adrift — and how pain, discipline, and purpose forged him into the man and father he is today. In this conversation, Aaron and Shaun unpack lessons from military life, the transition back home, and the inner healing that led to his mission of helping fathers and sons reconnect through Wild Ops Box. From men’s circles and emotional breakthroughs to teaching his kids the power of boundaries, Aaron shows that leadership at home begins with self-awareness and serviceKey TakeawaysPain can be a catalyst for growth — our response determines whether it breaks us or builds us.Kids mirror our emotions — a calm home starts with calm parents.Boundaries are love — saying no teaches children self-respect and limits.Connection needs structure — rituals, shared experiences, and written family values keep a home aligned.Service above self — true masculinity means protecting, guiding, and serving before leading.Pull Quotes“You get to choose what it does to you. You get to choose how you react — that’s an active choice that can propel you forward.”“We make vows to our wives, but maybe we should make vows to our kids — that’s the most permanent relationship we’ll ever have.”“Discipline without direction is just control — but discipline with purpose changes lives.“Kids don’t care what we say; it’s what they see and feel us do that really matters.”Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Leading From the Front at HomeWhy allowing kids to shape the vision of the household builds accountability and leadership.00:31 — From Fatherless to Green BeretAaron Blaine’s early life, losing his father, and the path that shaped his resilience.02:03 — Trauma as a Catalyst for GrowthHow pain, loss, and chaos became fuel instead of a life sentence.05:57 — Choosing Growth Over DestructionWhy adversity can either break you—or make you great.07:18 — Legacy Lives Beyond PresenceHow parents continue shaping us long after they’re gone.09:16 — Birth, Death, and the Urgency of TimeA powerful reflection on life’s brevity and what truly matters.11:11 — Service Above SelfWhy volunteering, slowing down, and gratitude change everything.13:00 — Redefining Wellness: Body, Mind, and SpiritWhy true health goes far beyond fitness.14:22 — What Becoming a Green Beret Teaches About DisciplineAutonomy, self-mastery, and learning to embrace discomfort.18:52 — Anger, Fatherhood, and Emotional RegulationHow Aaron learned to manage anger while raising young children.20:54 — The Men’s Group That Changed EverythingVulnerability, emotional awareness, and breaking lifelong patterns.23:32 — Kids Mirror Our EnergyWhy parents must regulate themselves before correcting behavior.25:12 — Guilt, Overcompensating, and BoundariesWhy saying “no” is part of being a good father.26:52 — Teaching Boundaries Is Teaching RespectHow limits help children navigate the real world.28:44 — Learning to Love the KetchupChoosing meaning over irritation in everyday parenting moments.30:39 — Discomfort as a SuperpowerWhy learning to embrace discomfort creates growth and resilience.33:13 — The Birth of Wild Ops BoxHow lost institutions inspired a modern solution for fathers and kids.35:18 — Leaving the Army and Losing IdentityThe hidden struggle many veterans face after service.37:43 — Survival Skills as a Path to ConnectionWhy outdoor education builds confidence and family bonds.40:04 — Betting on Purpose, Not EgoBuilding something meaningful without burning everything down.43:32 — A Father’s Proud MomentWhen Aaron’s son confidently joined an interview—and what it represented.45:19 — Becoming a Girl DadHow having a daughter softened and strengthened him at the same time.49:33 — Raising Boys vs. Raising GirlsMasculinity, protection, and emotional presence.52:51 — Vows to Your ChildrenWhy fathers should commit publicly to their kids, not just spouses.55:46 — Wild Ops Box as a Ritual, Not a ProductUsing skill-building to create meaningful family conversations.57:42 — Letting Kids Define Family ValuesWhy ownership creates accountability.58:49 — Connection vs. IndependenceHelping kids balance closeness with autonomy.01:01:59 — Modeling Matters More Than TeachingWhy kids follow what we do—not what we say.01:04:33 — A Message to Disconnected FathersStart with intention, presence, and small daily actions.01:06:45 — The Critical Window: Ages 7–14Why these years shape who children become.01:08:56 — When Kids Handle ConflictWhy parents sometimes need to step back.01:12:30 — Guidance Without ShameHow to correct behavior without damaging trust.01:16:07 — “Eat Last” as a Life PrincipleService, discipline, and modeling leadership at home.01:19:24 — Community, Responsibility, and LegacyWhy men must guide not just ...
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    1 Std. und 20 Min.
  • Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink

    Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink
    Jan 21 2026

    In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jennifer L.W. Fink—writer, nurse, mother of four boys, and author of Building Boys. Jennifer brings decades of lived experience and research to help us understand what boys really need: space, presence, and parents who see them as they truly are. Together, they explore why boys are often misunderstood, how parents can respond with calm instead of fear, and what it means to raise great guys in a world full of mixed messages.

    Topics Covered

    1. Developmental differences between boys and girls – Why boys aren’t behind or broken; they simply develop on a different timeline.
    2. Why boys are often misunderstood – From poop drawings to impulse-control moments, adults misinterpret normal development as misbehavior.
    3. Parenting through fear – How cultural narratives (MeToo era) cause parents to overreact to boy behavior.
    4. How to respond with connection – Curiosity over punishment; presence over panic.
    5. Healthy masculinity – Risk-taking, independence, protectiveness, physical play.
    6. Letting boys lead – Facilitating interests instead of rejecting them (e.g., Minecraft, gaming, tinkering). raising-men-podcast-recording-w…
    7. How parents can model calm leadership – High standards + connection = growth.
    8. Why boys disconnect – When they are shamed for their instincts, they stop trying.


    Pull Quotes

    “Look at the boy in front of you. Not the boy you fear he might become — the boy who’s here right now.”


    “Boys aren’t broken. They’re developing on a different timeline, and when we don’t understand that, they start believing they’re the problem.”


    “When boys feel like who they are is wrong, they check out. When they feel seen, they thrive.”


    Books, Ideas & Content Mentioned


    • Jennifer’s Website: jenniferlwfink.com
    • Story of his youngest son crawling around the bases https://buildingboys.substack.com/p/building-boys-bulletin-7-3-23
    • A recent post talking about some of the positive impacts of gaming https://buildingboys.substack.com/p/video-games-arent-bad-really
    • Jennifer's article about gaming: https://www.enttoday.org/article/from-video-game-controllers-to-ors-the-surprising-role-of-gaming-in-modern-medical-practices/
    • ON BOYS podcast, w 7 yrs worth of episodes & show notes https://www.on-boys-podcast.com/
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    58 Min.
  • How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix

    How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix
    Jan 14 2026

    Paul Kix built a career telling powerful human stories—from ESPN to bestselling books. But becoming a father pushed him to rewrite the narrative of masculinity itself. In this conversation, Paul shares what he’s learned about raising boys to be strong and gentle, confident and vulnerable. We go deep on identity, authenticity, inner courage, and why sometimes the bravest thing a dad can do is admit he doesn’t have all the answers.

    Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

    • Masculinity must include kindness, empathy, and emotional presence, not just strength.
    • Modeling repair, not perfection — kids learn by watching how we handle mistakes.
    • Vulnerability is true tensile strength — like bridges built to flex without breaking.
    • Therapy, reflection, and emotional self-awareness are part of modern fatherhood.
    • Raising biracial sons means helping them define identity from the inside out, not from labels society imposes.
    • Saying no to broken systems (raffles, rewards, status pressure) teaches kids integrity and independence.
    • Authentic storytelling builds connection — peers relate more to flaws than achievements.
    • Reinvention is possible — pivot your skillset instead of clinging to dying industries.
    • Courage = pushing past fear while staying grounded through reflection and spiritual guidance.

    Pull Quotes

    “If all you do is project strength, you become brittle. Vulnerability is what keeps you from breaking.”


    “We connect more to each other’s flaws than to each other’s victories.”


    “Remember that the kingdom of God is within you — live out the purpose planted inside.”


    Timestamps / Chapter Markers

    • 00:22 Official Introduction (Introducing Paul Kix, journalist and author)
    • 00:54 Storytelling and the Narrative of Fatherhood (Holistic masculinity, kindness, and modeling repair)
    • 02:44 Pivoting to Partner: A Wife's Need
    • 04:20 From Farmer to Modern Man (Embracing therapy and vulnerability)
    • 07:51 The Tensile Strength of Bridges (Flexibility vs. brittle tension)
    • 11:21 Performative vs. Quiet Confidence (The ultimate flex: Barry Sanders)
    • 14:55 Reinventing Career After Corporate Media (Starting the newsletter/digital course)
    • 20:29 Staring Down Fear and Catastrophizing (The path to true self)
    • 24:05 The Power of Authenticity and Chronicling Flaws (Finding "the gripe")
    • 28:34 Raising Biracial Sons (Identity, the "one-drop rule," and the shift in discourse)
    • 35:36 The School Fundraiser Dilemma (Principled stand vs. bullying)
    • 38:57 Similar Stand in Little League (Questioning the raffle)
    • 44:36 The Decision: Legoland and Life Lessons (Minimizing hardship)
    • 46:58 Kids Absorb What You Do (Henson quote)
    • 47:51 One Principle for Raising Men (The Kingdom of God is within you)
    • 52:43 Closing Remarks

    Supporting Content

    • You Have to Be Prepared to Die Before You Can Begin to Live https://www.paul-kix.com/books
    • The Saboteur https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/533685/the-saboteur-by-paul-kix

    Paul’s Storytelling Newsletter (highly praised in the episode!) https://paulkix.substack.com/

    Storytelling Course: Storytelling You https://www.paul-kix.com/storytelling-you

    https://www.storytellingyoukickstarter.com/


    Other references

    • Brooklyn Bridge tensile strength metaphor (via therapist)
    • Ralph Waldo Emerson on purpose & self-trust
    • Luke 17: “The kingdom of God is within you”
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    54 Min.