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Raising Men

Raising Men

Von: Shaun Dawson
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 Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world.© 2026 Shaun Dawson Beziehungen Elternschaft & Familienleben
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  • From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood

    From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood
    Mar 4 2026
    If you’ve ever had a toddler throw themselves on the floor because you cut their toast the wrong way, you know how intense those early years can be. But what if toddlerhood isn’t something to survive? What if it’s one of the richest seasons for growth—both for our kids and for us? Today on Raising Men, Shaun sits down with Devon Kuntzman, parenting coach, author of Transforming Toddlerhood, and the leading voice helping parents move from chaos to connection. Devon brings practical tools, mindset reframes, and compassionate strategies that help parents decode behavior, regulate themselves, and raise confident, emotionally healthy kids. Key Takeaways1. Reframing the “Terrible Twos”: Why culture primes us to expect chaos, and how fear shapes our experience of toddlerhood. 2. Behavior as Communication: Toddlers aren’t being “bad”—they’re expressing needs, emotions, and limitations in brain development. 3. Emotional Regulation for Parents: How to avoid jumping on your child’s “emotional roller coaster.” 4. Healthy, Developmentally Smart Discipline: Limits + connection + teaching skills = effective discipline. 5. Collaboration, Not Control: Using collaborative problem-solving with older toddlers (3–4+) to create buy-in and reduce conflict. All behavior is communication. Toddlers aren’t being bad—they’re having a hard time.Control is an illusion. Parenting through fear creates compliance, not skills.Practice makes progress. Every moment is another chance to try again.Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Observe and Describe, Not Catastrophise00:30 — Welcome & Meet Devin Kuntzman01:05 — Rethinking the “Terrible Twos”02:04 — When We Look for Problems, We Find Them03:10 — Problems as Opportunities for Growth03:38 — Toddlerhood as a Critical Developmental Window04:35 — Younger vs. Older Toddlers05:31 — Behaviour Is Communication06:20 — Lower Brain vs. Upper Brain07:04 — Why Toddlers Aren’t Manipulating You08:10 — Staying Out of the Emotional Roller Coaster08:56 — Establish Safety First09:40 — The Fear Loop Parents Fall Into10:40 — Ego, Judgment, and Parenting Stress11:25 — Observe and Describe in Action12:47 — Teaching Skills Instead of Punishing Behaviour13:35 — Responding Differently Based on Intensity14:22 — Emotional Skills Are Still Skills15:20 — Tantrums and Loss of Control16:34 — Less Is More During Meltdowns17:40 — Moving Forward After Setting a Limit18:31 — Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences20:31 — Waiting Until the Brain Comes Back Online22:30 — Fear-Based Compliance vs. Skill Building24:02 — Regulating Yourself First25:10 — Practical Grounding Techniques for Parents26:15 — Repairing After You Lose It28:02 — The Four-Step Repair Process30:13 — “Wind the Clock”31:32 — Disrupting the Stress Cycle32:40 — Giving Yourself Grace as a Parent33:51 — Windshield vs. Rearview Mirror Parenting35:00 — Control vs. Connection35:43 — When Control Becomes an Illusion37:58 — Compliance, Fear, and Hiding Behaviour39:20 — What Positive Discipline Really Means39:54 — Meeting Needs Within Limits41:36 — Collaborative Problem Solving43:40 — Coaching Instead of Refereeing45:45 — Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything46:45 — One Operating Principle: Everyone Is Doing Their Best47:29 — Closing ReflectionsSupporting ContentTransforming Toddlerhood (Book) — https://transformingtoddlerhood.com/book/(Referenced throughout the episode as Devon discusses its chapters, frameworks, and principles.) raising-men-recording-with-devo…Transforming Toddlerhood (Website) — https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhood — https://www.instagram.com/transformingtoddlerhood/Frameworks MentionedObserve & Describe — Nonjudgmental narration to interrupt assumptions. Recipe for Healthy, Effective Discipline:ConnectionLimitFollow-throughTeaching skills Four-Step Repair Process (from Devon’s book, pg. ~49): Take ownershipCheck in on impactApologizeRedo (state what you’ll do next time)Concepts ReferencedYounger vs. Older Toddlers (ages 1–2 vs. 3–4, differences in language + brain maturity)Collaborative Problem Solving — Inviting toddlers to generate solutions. Emotional Contagion — Why parent regulation is the first step in child regulation. Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences — And why toddlers don’t connect punishment with behavior. Grounding Strategies for Parents — Breathing, sensory check-ins, movement or stillness based on temperament.
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    48 Min.
  • What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North

    What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North
    Feb 25 2026
    Ryan North, co-founder of One Big Happy Home, shares his journey raising six children—four of whom were adopted from the child welfare system—and how those experiences shaped his trauma-informed approach to parenting. This episode explores the "connection-first" methodology, the essential balance between nurture and structure, and the vital distinction between raising "nice" boys and "good" men.1. Why Trauma-Informed Parenting Matters for Every DadRyan explains why trauma-informed principles apply far beyond adoption and foster care — because every child faces adversity, stress, and emotional wounds in today’s world. 2. Connection vs. ControlRyan breaks down why traditional discipline focuses on control, but healing and strong fatherhood come from prioritizing connection — without sliding into permissiveness. 3. The Power of “Yes When We Can, No When We Must”He shares the philosophy that shaped his home: saying yes when it builds relationship, and saying no only when it’s truly in the child’s long-term best interest. 4. Raising Boys in a Digital, Post-Pandemic, AI-Distracted WorldFrom screen addiction to AI “companions,” Ryan reveals why today is the hardest era in 100+ years to be a child — and how dads can anchor their sons in stability, presence, and emotional safety. r5. What It Means to Raise Good Men (Not Just “Nice” Ones)Ryan draws a powerful distinction between “nice” men and “good” men — and how fathers can raise sons who protect, provide, and lead with courage and compassion.Quotes by Ryan North“Authority isn’t about control — it’s about trust.”“The point of parenting is not to make my life easy — the point of parenting is to develop another person.”“We’re not trying to raise nice men. We’re trying to raise good men — the kind who run into the burning building, not film it for likes.”Timestamps 00:00 — Holding Kids to Adult Standards00:30 — Welcome & Meet Ryan North01:10 — What Drew Ryan Into Trauma-Informed Care02:10 — Parenting Adopted and Biological Children the Same Way03:20 — Connection vs. Compliance04:17 — Why This Isn’t Permissive Parenting05:10 — Parenting Isn’t Meant to Be Convenient06:06 — Saying Yes When You Can, No When You Must07:24 — The Swaddling Metaphor08:20 — Secure Attachment Creates Confident Exploration10:04 — Proof of Concept: Parenting Over Time12:19 — Challenging Limiting Labels12:46 — Small Traumas Still Matter13:30 — Harmful Parenting Beliefs We Inherit14:42 — Children Are Fragile and Capable of Resilience15:55 — Parenting in a Digital, AI-Driven World17:51 — Trauma vs. Adversity18:45 — You’re the Parent, Not Their Friend19:09 — Authority Without Fear or Control20:15 — Screen Boundaries Explained, Not Enforced21:30 — Calm Presence in Conflict23:13 — Saying Yes to Needs, Not Wants25:15 — Withholding Connection Is Not Discipline27:12 — Defiance vs. Addiction29:09 — Behaviour Is Communication30:41 — Why “Crying It Out” Causes Harm32:40 — How Behaviour Becomes a Strategy35:29 — Teaching Independence Through Dependence37:15 — The Danger of Raising “Nice” Men39:01 — Raising Men Who Protect and Lead41:02 — Protection, Provision, and Presence42:53 — Male Mental Health and Suicide44:45 — Choosing the Right Partner Matters47:09 — Parenting as a Partnership48:35 — The “Pineapple” Exit Strategy50:00 — Planning Outside the Moment53:12 — Kids Learn What We Model55:10 — Teaching the Art of Repair57:33 — Repairing Relationships After Rupture01:01:48 — What a “Happy Home” Really Means01:02:48 — Operating Principle: Curiosity Over Judgment01:03:17 — Final Reflections01:05:07 — Closing CreditsSupporting ContentSecure Base / Attachment Research – foundational attachment science discussed when exploring dependence → independence.Nurture + Structure = Felt Safety – illustrated through the “baby swaddle” metaphor.“Yes When We Can, No When We Must” Parenting Framework — Ryan’s family rule.“Pineapple Strategy” – A pre-agreed cue between Ryan and his wife to step out of heated moments with dignity.Apology Framework (Own it → Say sorry → Ask forgiveness → Commit to do better) — modeled to his children and now mirrored back by them.The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/730610/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt/One Big Happy Home Website https://www.onebighappyhome.com/One Big Happy Home Podcast https://www.onebighappyhome.com/podcast/
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  • Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

    Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst
    Feb 18 2026
    In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, a psychologist with decades of experience working with preschool boys often mislabeled as "problematic". They explore the "emotional desert" many boys are forced into by a culture that unintentionally shames their natural sensitivity. Dr. Vanderhorst explains how parents can move beyond surface-level behavior to address the root emotional needs of their sons, ultimately helping them grow into men of both strength and tenderness.Key TakeawaysThe Myth of the Stoic Infant: Contrary to popular belief, boys are born with a broader range of emotional expression than girls. However, because mothers and nannies often have a narrower emotional range, they may unintentionally discourage a boy's intense reactions, leading the infant to "narrow the room" and limit his own expressions for safety.Comfort vs. Brittleness: Shaming a boy for crying (e.g., telling a three-year-old to "stop being a baby") does not make him strong; it makes him "brittle". Providing comfort and strategies for handling injury or loss builds genuine resilience, allowing him to experience emotion without being overwhelmed by it.The "Conan" Brain vs. The Modern World: Society often trains boys to remain in a "Conan the Barbarian" state—aggressive, brave, and cut off from fear. While this was once adaptive for survival, it is maladaptive in modern life, making intimate emotional relationships nearly impossible for men who can only access irritation or anger.The Masculine Ritual of Safety: Unlike women, who often dive directly into emotional sharing, men typically require a "ritual" of posturing before feeling safe. They often need to establish their status or success in the room before they feel comfortable enough to bring their sorrows or worries into the light.Decoding the "Root Cause": Behavioral outbursts are often signals of underlying needs. For example, a child obsessing over a cell phone or a specific shirt may actually be expressing a powerful need to "belong" or feel included with their peers. Addressing the root cause can "flip the switch" and resolve the behavioral conflict immediately.Pull Quotes"Infants are emotionally brilliant—it's their only survival mechanism. So they read the room perfectly.""The culture that we live in tells us that boys are to narrow their emotional expression... We rob them of that capability, and we do it intentionally.""If you don't do it on purpose [reflection], it'll happen accidentally in ways that are usually bad."Timestamps / Chapter Markers00:00 — Therapy Is More Accessible Than You Think00:40 — Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst01:20 — The Emotional Desert Boys Grow Up In02:02 — Boys Are Born With a Broader Emotional Spectrum03:15 — How Caregiving Shapes Emotional Expression04:17 — A Classroom Example: Male vs. Female Emotional Response05:46 — Emotional Correction Starts in Infancy07:40 — Playground Parenting Reveals the Pattern08:18 — Emotional Sensitivity Is a Male Strength09:25 — When Culture Mislabels Emotion as a Problem11:05 — The Caveman Model of Masculinity11:48 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes13:44 — The Cost of Losing Tenderness14:12 — Anger as a Secondary Emotion15:36 — Why Anger Doesn’t Solve Modern Problems16:20 — The Core Emotional Wound in Men17:01 — Divorce, Prison, and Emotional Silence18:03 — Why Men Don’t Disclose to Other Men18:15 — Masculinity, Power, and the Fear of Softness19:37 — You Don’t Lose Strength—You Add to It20:45 — Introducing the Book: Read, Reflect, Respond21:39 — Why Words Aren’t Enough for Healing22:37 — Scribbling, Drawing, and Emotional Truth23:14 — “Are You Your Own Con Artist?”24:33 — When Unprocessed History Hijacks the Present25:51 — The Danger of Justifying Pain Instead of Healing It27:23 — Therapy Beyond the Couch29:06 — Men, Therapy, and Community29:58 — Posturing Before Vulnerability31:45 — Rituals of Emotional Safety for Men32:52 — Emotional Safety vs. Physical Safety33:34 — First Steps for Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys35:20 — A Story of Shame at the Playground36:05 — Why Suppressing Emotion Creates Fragility36:45 — Suicide and Emotional Suppression37:57 — Is Emotional Progress Happening?38:44 — The Hidden Cost of Screens39:45 — The Uncontrolled Experiment on Children41:03 — Limits Aren’t Enough—Engagement Matters42:34 — Creativity as Emotional Nutrition44:24 — Addressing the Root Need: Belonging45:07 — Meeting Needs Without Giving the Device46:00 — A Shirt, a Buffet, and Emotional Insight47:23 — Belonging as a Core Emotional Theme48:31 — Helping Kids Reframe Differences as Strengths49:41 — One Operating Principle: Expand Feeling Vocabulary50:51 — Emotions as a Learnable Language51:48 — Building Emotional Rituals at Home52:50 — Closing ReflectionsResources, Links, and Concepts MentionedBook: Read Reflect Respond: The 3 R's of Growth and Change by Dr. Gloria ...
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    53 Min.
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