Mini AJ Soapbox Moment

This goes out to survivors and to those going through an abusive situation. Experiencing the disbelief, dismissal, and witnessing the ignorant support a sinister being who abused you and/or still continues to do so.

After the humiliation, the confusion, and self-doubt, you find the courage to voice the truth. AND you get told it isn't possible because that sinister person who abused you was nice to them and has never been mean to them. I know many have experience that example.

That being said,

it's for the ignorant who are in disbelief that a person who is nice and helpful toward them cannot be abusive. Congratulations...you are just as cruel as the offender a.k.a. the abuser.

Everyone experiences jealousy and envy at times in their lives.

Abusive narcissists take jealousy to a whole 'nother level.

Through manipulation, ridicule, criticism, gaslighting, and their other calculated tactics to maintain control over you, abusers will go as far as sabotage...even if they are still in a relationship.

They will attempt to destroy you.

-AJ

Introducing the social saints, martyrs, selfless, helpful beings of friend groups, communities, family gatherings and work...

Well, they pretend to be all that and 12 bags of chips.

It's about the rep, praise and admiration for the acts of moral good deeds and kindness.

The portrayal of being the martyr without wanting anything in return.

The saint who goes above and beyond to help his fellow man.

Sounds like a superhero, a righteous and just human committing selfless acts for all of humanity.

Not to say that there are not people who go above and beyond to commit selfless acts for others...

BUT

In the case of abusive narcissists, sorry to break it to everyone,

it's all smoke and mirrors...

illusions...

delusions...

it leaves the victims of narcissistic abuse in a state of confusion, self-doubt, and codependency

the communal narcissist builds his/her status to being a great human being so when the victims and survivors call them out on it or speak up about the abuse no one believes them, no one will question them about what happened to them, and they defend (hello flying monkeys) the narcissist because they are always kind, helpful, and portray themselves as the perfect spouse and/or parent.

It happened to me, is still happening as far as my kid situation. Please take a listen. It is obvious this is not AI.

Thanks for listening and may this reach those who need and want to hear it.

-AJ

Love bombing is a real thing. Love bombers charm to disarm to the extreme when trying to hook, line, sinker and reel you in. It's the first phase for the predator to gain control and manipulate you into a relationship.

Here, I go over some definitions, characteristics, signs, and examples of love bombing. This ain't no fairy tale, folks.

Thanks for listening! AJ

Well, here they are defined. Characteristics of an abusive narcissist & more.

Don't know about you, but I'm tired of terminology related to narcissistic abuse being thrown around and downplaying narcissistic, emotional, and psychological abuse.

Definitions, characteristics, and a few examples/explanations are thrown in here. Thanks for listening. Hopefully, this reaches someone who needs to hear it.

REMEMBER most abusive narcissists do not seek you out because you are weak, it's because you're not. They just look for one vulnerability and play on it like a sinister being because your character is authentic and genuine. They most definitely are not.

AJ - real-life warrior maven-warriormaven1

I'm baack. This is AJ again, my apologies it's been rough and almost gave up. BUT here I am again.

This episode is about flying monkeys and some of what I experienced.

I know I speak at length and wander off here & there, but everything links together.

Thanks for listening!

What is gaslighting? What is manipulation?

Anyone else sick of hearing people throwing around words like narcissist, gaslighting, and the like around like it’s the norm and downplays the abuse you survived? Sick of the influencers using these terms out of context? Well, if you are, you’re in the right place…

Well, I recorded this several times and still think I should have redone it. Hopefully, I do not sound like a total whackadoodle.

This is for those who have had people "listen", lend a shoulder, an ear to talk about the abuse they endured AND for those who wanted to be supportive of those who have survived narcissistic, emotional, psychological abuse. The truth is that those who have never experienced it have no clue. I cannot stress enough the importance of just listening with no judgement and that I was not grateful for the support. However, unwarranted advice, interrupting to compare your past to the person you're trying to help, and so-on, leaves someone feeling small and as if what they are going through and did go through is nothing. Again, I am truly grateful for those who actually wanted to support, but sometimes you just need to stay quiet and only ask questions to better understand to some extent a survivor's situation. No unwarranted advice. No judgement. No comparisons. Just listen.

Thanks for listening, and apologies if you are unable to get my point of all this.