How to Make and Keep Friends as an Adult

Why does making friends as an adult feel so much harder than it did in college or your early 20s, and what actually helps?

In Part 2 of our Friendship in America series, Maria Eliades talks with Alexandra Friedman, founder of Connection Feast, about adult friendship, loneliness, making new friends, keeping old ones, and what healthy friendships actually look and feel like.

After moving back to Seattle and struggling to build meaningful friendships, Alex started hosting structured dinners for strangers. Those gatherings eventually grew into Connection Feast, a company focused on helping adults build deeper connections and stronger social skills.

In this episode, Maria and Alexandra talk about why just meeting more people doesn’t always lead to the friendships we want, why friendships aren't convenient, and why finding the right people may mean leaning harder into the things that make you just a bit weird.

They also discuss:

• Why people can feel lonely even when they have friends or romantic partners
• How to make friends as an adult when you’re starting over in a new city
• Why the places we choose to meet people matter
• How many times to initiate activities before giving up
• Why “Hey, how are you?” can sometimes make reconnecting harder
• Why friendship breakups can hurt as much as romantic breakups
• How friendships change through marriage, parenthood, moves, and other life transitions

Plus, Alex answers a listener question about how to tell if a friendship has red flags, especially when disagreements happen.

If you’ve ever wondered how to make friends as an adult, how to keep friendships alive through life changes, or how to know if a friendship is worth repairing, this episode is for you.

About Alexandra Friedman

Alexandra Friedman is a Friendship and Connection Coach, community builder, and founder of Connection Feast, a social wellness company helping adults and people-focused companies build deeper friendships and strong social skills. Since 2018 she has guided close to 3,000 people through workshops, events, and coaching experiences that teach adults how to move past small talk, create meaningful relationships, and build a more connected life.

Our Pandora’s Box is a podcast for women in their late 20s (and late 20s at heart) who want to live life on their own terms.

Subscribe to the Our Pandora’s Box Substack and join the conversation at ourpandorasbox.substack.com.

Our Pandora’s Box is taking a short mid-season break.

We’re six episodes into Season 1, with four more conversations still to come on friendship, sex and eroticism, dating and relationships, and reproductive health and self-advocacy.

The podcast returns Thursday, October 1 with Part 2 of our Friendship in America series, featuring Alexandra Friedman, founder of Connection Feast and a Seattle-based friendship coach. Maria and Alexandra talk about adult friendship, building deeper connection, and some of the practical skills that can help us become better friends.

The final stretch of Season 1 will also include conversations about sex, eroticism, modern dating, relationships, and how women can better understand and advocate for their reproductive health.

If you’re attending Podcast Movement in New York City on September 17 or 18, Maria will be there and would love to meet listeners and fellow podcasters.

Follow Our Pandora’s Box so you don’t miss the return on October 1.

In the meantime, remember to stay hopeful and stay curious.

Are we actually in a friendship crisis—or is something more complicated happening?

Americans have been hearing about a “loneliness epidemic” for years. But research from The American Friendship Project suggests that most Americans do have friends. So what's happening in this mismatch of data and perceptions?

To find out, in this episode Maria talks with Dr. Natalie Pennington, Associate Professor of Communication Studies at Colorado State University and co-lead of the American Friendship Project, about what the research actually tells us about friendship in the U.S., and how to make and maintain meaningful friendships as an adult.

They explore why adult friendships take time to build, how vulnerability creates closeness, and why the pandemic, moving, and the decline of third places can make maintaining a social life harder. They also tackle how technology has changed friendship: when it’s okay to let an old friendship go, whether texting is actually good for connection, where voice notes fit, and what AI can—and can’t—offer as a substitute for human friendship.

This is Part 1 of Our Pandora’s Box’s two-part exploration of friendship and loneliness in America. Join us for Part 2 in two weeks as Maria talks with friendship coach and Connection Feast creator Alexandra Friedman about the practical work of making friends and building community.

For show resources, head over to the Substack.