For 29 minutes, we actually looked a bit like a football team. Then Cuti Romero decided he’d seen enough.

With Udogie hobbling off and the squad down to nine fit first-teamers (is that right, Cuti?) we’re officially in "looking over our shoulder" territory.

Inevitably the Poch rumours are back. We discuss the likelihood and desirability.

Also in this episode:

• Flappy: Letting in a trundler before turning into Gordon Banks. Plus ça change.

• Souza & Simons: So good, we wonder why we signed them.

• Dr. Tottenham: Newcastle are at their lowest ebb - 'nuff said?

• Room 101: More footy nonsense for the bin

• Stupid Tweets: So many, so little time.

Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Lee Brown, and Kevin Acott break down the chaos.

COYS THFC

The window has slammed shut and Cuti Romero hasn't held back. We dive into the Captain’s "disgraceful" Instagram broadside.

And we ask: What does Johan Lange actually do?

Plus

• The Vinai Era: Is the new CEO staying "on message," or just managing the decline?

• Academy Paradox: Why are we signing 18-year-old James Wilson from Hearts just to play Academy football while Mikey Moore is tearing it up at Rangers?

• United Away: We look ahead to a massive clash at Old Trafford.

It’s messy, it’s petty, and it’s very Tottenham.

The City game was a tale of two halves: pathetic to dynamic, chalk to cheese. Was the formation shift down to Thomas Frank’s genius or forced by injury?

We break down the "moral courage" of Xavi Simons, praise 'man possessed' Palhinha and a veteran-style shift from Archie Gray, and look into the "Giant Redwood" that is Flappy in goal.

Inside this episode:

• The Solanke Saviour: Even an atheist can thank God for that goal.

• The 75-Minute Walkout: Principled protest or utter nonsense?

• Twitter Jury: We shred the week’s most idiotic tweets

• Room 101: Binning off "we go again" and other footballing sins.

• Stat or Fiction: Did VDV really drive home in his kit before the final whistle?

• Man Utd Preview: Which Spurs will show up—the Chalk or the Cheese?

Strap in. We go again.

Fourth in the CL table, above “tiddlers” like Real, Barça, City and PSG. Second-best defence, Flappy apparently the best keeper on earth.

We examine the performance and ask whether this was progress or just another glorious one-off.

Are Spurs going to suprise us before the window closes? And if so, can they please not surprise us with bloody Raheem Sterling on a free?

City to come. Another easy ride?

With Kev Acott and Simon Lipson

COYS THFC

Burnley: missed chance or gritty point? Either way, we didn’t end their miserable run, so… progress? We dig into the numbers (not boringly, promise) and explore whether our best attackers are also our biggest problem.

Plus: Odobert shows promise, Tel gets messed about again and Gallagher’s written off before he’s unpacked. Transfer chat goes suspiciously quiet, ITKs come up empty and we ask whether it’s possible to hate Arsenal too much ahead of City.

Strap in. It’s Nice One Cyril.

We're thrilled to welcome Mike Leigh from the brilliant Spurs Show podcast to Nice One Cyril. He and Simon Lipson discuss:

- The Dortmund miracle

- Muani downing tools

- Thomas Frank's gabbling

- Transfers

- Burnley

And lots more besides.

#COYS #THFC

Home defeat to that useless lot. Frank said we were “close to something very good.” Romero called it “a disaster.” One of them is right.

We cover baffling tactics, Tel hooked and dumped from the Champions League squad again, Bissouma’s return, Ben Davies’ brutal injury, and the eerie silence from the hierarchy. regarding a failing manager. Where's Levy when you need him?

Dortmund with half a squad, City, United, Newcastle, Arsenal coming up. It's not getting any easier;

⚠️ Slightly shorter episode this week after we discovered, during the edit, that Lee Brown’s microphone had gone full Norman Collier., so we had to can him. Shame, he was bloody good.

Nice One Cyril.

Kev and Simon chat about Gallagher, sift through the latest transfer noise, the club’s ever-expanding executive org chart, and ask why Ange’s name still won’t go away.

Also, who gives a toss about Gary of Harlow's wet dream Spurs line-up? Kev, as it turns out.

Plus, would defeat to West Ham mean bye-bye Thomas?

Irreverence, speculation, nonsense, therapy.

COYS