• Life After Bipolar & Depression, Getting Locked in a Rubber Room, Quitting Alcohol and Picking Up Crack
    Jan 7 2026
    Doug experienced abuse in early childhood, and at age 12 when his father left, he spiraled into severe depression, suicidality, and repeated psychiatric hospitalizations. As a teenager, he discovered alcohol and used it to manage his symptoms while earning a master’s degree in social work and working at a suicide hotline, even as hospitalizations and heavy drinking continued.In his mid-30s, after a suicide attempt and abruptly quitting alcohol, Doug was introduced to crack cocaine, triggering years of intense addiction, medical crises, psychiatric admissions, and failed treatment attempts. During this period, he lost his marriage, access to his child, and his freedom, eventually serving nearly six years in Texas prison for robbery-related charges.While incarcerated, Doug found purpose in peer leadership, serving as a sexual-assault-prevention educator, 12-step sponsor, and chapel volunteer. After his release, he experienced relapses but reframed them as part of recovery rather than failure, rebuilding his life, his mental health, and his relationship with his daughters through honesty and accountability.Doug later remarried, adopted his stepdaughter, and built a career training peer specialists and advising states on mental-health, recovery, and justice-system reform. He authored The Path of Rocks and Thorns, blending his personal story with leadership and recovery insights, and continues to speak, train, and return to prisons as a free man to help others find a path forward.GUESTDoug SmithDouglas Smith, MSSW, is a leadership development trainer, certified trauma‑informed coach, and author of The Path of Rocks and Thorns: Leadership Lessons from a Prison Cell. He has over a decade of experience in mental health and justice policy, including roles at the Texas House of Representatives, the Texas Center for Justice and Equity, and as an adjunct professor at the University of Texas at Austin. Doug’s trauma‑informed leadership work is shaped by his master’s in social work, professional coaching training, and his own lived experience with mental illness, addiction, and incarceration.Learn more about Doug’s Book, The Path of Rocks and ThornsConnect with Doug Smith on LinkedInLearn more about D-Degree Coaching & TrainingMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Chris MannTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art: DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    2 Std. und 12 Min.
  • Life After Being an Ecstasy “Connoisseur” & MDMA-Fueled Raver, and the K-Hole That Scared Me Straight
    Dec 30 2025
    Born in Italy to Russian parents, Dan came to the U.S. as a baby and grew up in a highly driven immigrant community near Princeton, New Jersey. An only child, he was pushed hard to be successful in academics and athletics, with video games becoming an early escape. As a teenager, he turned to marijuana and alcohol, escalating after his mother passed away during his senior year. He headed to college in 2013, where he bounced between fraternities for drug- and alcohol-related issues while throwing himself into lifting and bodybuilding. At a rave, he was introduced to MDMA, soon followed by cocaine, ketamine, and psychedelics. Despite the severe anxiety waves and emotional volatility that followed, he completed a mechanical engineering degree, stayed for a master’s in financial engineering, and moved to New York to work on Wall Street.There he tried to balance long finance hours with heavy drinking, cocaine use, compulsive dating, and intense strength training. As he dove deeper into raves and festivals, he began to refer to himself as an ecstasy “connoisseur.” In 2022, he relocated to Los Angeles for a new job, still using while adding jiu jitsu, running, and competitive bodybuilding. A frightening ketamine episode, a collapsed relationship, and months of white-knuckle abstinence pushed him toward change. Inspired by discipline-focused figures online, in 2024 he found a sponsor in Studio City and began working the 12 steps. After a relapse on MDMA in May 2024, he restarted his sobriety on May 21 and returned to the steps with urgency. He left banking for full-time personal training, completed a full inventory with a new sponsor, and eventually began sponsoring others.In May 2025, he stepped back on the bodybuilding stage sober—this time pairing competition with a life grounded in discipline, service, and the steps.GUESTDan VaysburdDan is a Certified Personal Trainer (NASM) and Nutrition Coach (Precision Nutrition). His strength-based system helps clients achieve success without intense workouts, extreme diets, and expensive supplements. He offers online coaching to anyone worldwide through phone and video conference.Learn more about personal trainer and nutrition coach Dan VaysburdFollow Dan on Instagram @dan.vaysburdMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Chris MannTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art: DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    2 Std. und 20 Min.
  • Life After Splitting a Cop’s Head Open and Getting Dumped in a Desert Wilderness Camp at 15
    Dec 23 2025
    Seeing him on this podcast for the first time in 13 years, Matt admits to his old friend Austin York that he robbed him during the chaos of their using days in Southern California.

    Like Matt, Austin got into trouble very young, fighting in school and using drugs at a young age. His parents sent him away several times to try to get him back on track. He bounced around multiple high schools but never graduated, spending most of his teen years in juvenile rehabs like Phoenix House in San Diego and a wilderness camp in Idaho.

    He was arrested multiple times, including once for battery on a peace officer, which led to alternative sentencing at a wilderness camp. He spent time in solitary confinement in a Utah treatment facility before being sent home when insurance stopped paying.

    At 16, Austin got sober for the first time and built a strong sober community through Young People’s AA, but then at 18 he relapsed, got fired from his job and lost his chance to graduate high school.
    After living on the streets and facing violence, he reconciled with sober friends who brought him back to meetings to rebuild his life.

    In sobriety, he found purpose working in event production for major music festivals like Coachella and Lightning in a Bottle. Today, Austin stays active in recovery and focuses on his business, family, and community, crediting the support and accountability of his sober network for helping him stay on track.

    GUEST

    Austin York
    Freelance Project & Site Manager for Live Events

    Austin York rebuilt his life after years of addiction, homelessness, and time in juvenile rehab and prison. Today, he works in event production for major music festivals and runs a fishing charter business in Texas with his friend. Austin is dedicated to recovery, family, and helping others find hope and stability after hardship.

    Connect with Austin on LinkedIn

    Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.

    Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.

    My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.

    For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.

    Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com

    Find us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17

    Host: Matthew Handy
    Producer: Eva Sheie
    Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah Burkhart
    Engineering: Voltage FM, Victoria Cheng
    Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon
    Cover Art: DMARK

    My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    3 Std. und 24 Min.
  • Life After Beating Bulimia, Escaping an Abusive Alcoholic Marriage, and Repeated Exposure to Black Mold
    Dec 17 2025
    After Cynthia was molested in childhood, she used food as a coping mechanism, developing bulimia and extreme body dysmorphia. As a teenager, vaccinations triggered hormonal and immune imbalances, causing mood changes and hives.

    When she became pregnant as a young adult, it motivated her to stop smoking and make healthier choices. She later married an alcoholic, leading to domestic violence and emotional turmoil. Because of her faith as a Jehovah’s Witness, she stayed in the marriage for years before eventually divorcing.

    When her son was diagnosed with autism and severe developmental delays, she discovered mold exposure and metal toxicity were key factors. Through years of targeted interventions, he went from being severely delayed to earning A’s and B’s in high school.

    That journey inspired Cynthia to study functional nutrition and lifestyle medicine. She founded Biomentals to help others uncover the biological roots of mental illness and continues to educate through her podcast, Crazy Gutsy, where she explores how gut health, environment, and mindset shape long-term wellness.

    GUEST

    Cynthia Pereira, CFNC, FNLP
    Founder and Director of Biomentals, Inc

    Cynthia is a functional nutrition and lifestyle practitioner who helps people uncover the root causes of their physical and emotional health challenges. She specializes in gut health, hormone balance, and detoxification from environmental toxins like mold and heavy metals. Through her practice and podcast “Crazy Gutsy,” she educates others on restoring the body’s natural ability to heal and thrive.

    Listen to Cynthia’s podcast, Crazy Gutsy by subscribing to her Substack

    Connect with Cynthia on LinkedIn

    Learn more about Biomentals

    Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.

    Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.

    My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.

    For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.

    Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com

    Find us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17

    Host: Matthew Handy
    Producer: Eva Sheie
    Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah Burkhart
    Engineering: Voltage FM, Spencer Clarkson
    Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon
    Cover Art: DMARK

    My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    2 Std. und 42 Min.
  • Life After Burning 13 Holes in My Leg & 2 in My Junk, and Escaping a Life Sentence, and Killing Myself in the Hospital
    Dec 10 2025
    Chris grew up in Odessa, Texas, in a home where alcohol and drugs were part of everyday life. At 15, he altered his birth certificate to work in the oil fields. By 19, he was drilling, and by 25, he was running crews—building a successful career.Substance use resulted in four incarcerations, and by his last conviction he faced a potential life sentence. In prison, he began seeking faith and direction but his addiction destroyed his family. When an 86-year-old lawyer offers to take Chris’s case and be paid later, he miraculously gets his sentence reduced to a six‑month state jail deal, which he sees entirely as divine intervention.After he’s released, rather than changing his life he spirals again, overdosing in a hospital bed. This is when he knew it was time to change.In 2009, he committed to sobriety and has stayed clean since 2012, but his tattoos and criminal record made it hard to find a job. He earned his CDL, became a truck driver, and saved more than $70,000. In 2016, he invested in Bitcoin and set about rebuilding his family life.Chris went on to start The Hopper House, a faith-based recovery program, became a pastor, and began speaking in prisons and meetings. Today, he leads a church where people in recovery share their stories and teaches faith and accountability as tools for lasting change.GUESTChris HopperFounder of The Hopper HouseChris Hopper is a pastor, speaker, and founder of The Hopper House, a faith-based recovery community dedicated to helping men rebuild their lives through structure, service, and spiritual growth. After overcoming incarceration and personal loss, he turned his life toward ministry and mentorship, inspiring others with a message of redemption and purpose. Through The Hopper House, Chris continues to guide people toward healing, responsibility, and lasting transformation.Learn more about The Hopper HouseSubscribe to Chris’ YouTube channelMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Voltage FM, Spencer ClarksonTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art: DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    2 Std. und 57 Min.
  • Exposing the Dark Side of Kratom. Is This “Natural” Supplement Fueling Addiction?
    Dec 3 2025
    Kratom is a plant-based substance that’s easy to find in smoke shops, gas stations, and even health food stores. Marketed as a natural remedy for pain, energy, or opioid withdrawal, it’s gained a reputation as a “safe” alternative.

    But according to Houston addiction medicine specialist Dr. Kamal Shah, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

    He’s seen firsthand how quickly people can become dependent, from those in long-term recovery to others simply looking for pain relief. What starts as something “natural” often ends with tough withdrawals and a return to addictive patterns. Because kratom isn’t FDA-regulated, there’s no consistency in dosing or purity, adding another layer of risk.

    Dr. Shah explains how kratom dependency develops fast and why withdrawal feels more like dopamine depletion than a classic opioid detox. He and Matt Handy discuss the growing concern around its easy access—especially for young people—and the misinformation that keeps it under the radar.

    For anyone in recovery, kratom isn’t a harmless supplement. It’s a slippery slope that can quietly pull people back into addiction.

    KETV NewsWatch 7, 'Worst thing I've ever been through": Finding out what kratom is and how it's addictive

    Eric B Zink, Day 3 Withdrawals Red Kratom (Vlogging My Withdrawals)

    Matt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.

    Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.

    My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.

    For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.

    Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.com

    Find us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17

    Host: Matthew Handy
    Producer: Eva Sheie
    Assistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah Burkhart
    Engineering: Voltage FM, Spencer Clarkson
    Theme music: Survive The Tide, Machina Aeon
    Cover Art: DMARK

    My Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com

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    48 Min.
  • Life After Pawning My Wife’s Wedding Ring To Buy Coke and Running My Multimillion Dollar Company Into the Ground
    Nov 26 2025
    Growing up in Spring, Texas, Jordan was a standout student and star athlete. Raised in a supportive, yet strict household, he excelled in sports and academics, graduated near the top of his class, and was inducted into his high school’s Hall of Fame for football.While attending Cornell University on a football scholarship, sports injuries shifted his focus from athletics to cocaine, ketamine, and marijuana. After graduation, he moved to Miami for law school and a master’s in sports administration. Cocaine became a daily habit, even as he finished near the top of his class. Moving back home to Texas, he clerked at a law firm but failed the bar exam after hiding out in a hotel room for 3 months to “study,” only to write his name on the test and walk out. Rather than try it again, he went to work in real estate, homebuilding, and briefly for the Houston Texans, but his addiction led to repeated firings.After he got married in 2015 and had a daughter in 2017, his substance use continued. Within a year, Jordan ran a multimillion-dollar homebuilding company into the ground, overdosed multiple times, and pawned his family’s most valuable possessions including his wife’s wedding ring. In a last ditch effort to start over he moved to a new city, but the cycle of job loss and relapse persisted.In 2020, Jordan entered detox and rehab, relapsed one more time while on campus, then finally achieved lasting sobriety in March. Two years later, he was hired as alumni director at the same facility where he completed treatment and now works in addiction recovery to help others rebuild their lives.GUESTJordan HaseSenior Clinical Liaison - Business Development at Sunshine Behavioral HealthJordan grew up in Spring, Texas, and attended Cornell on a football scholarship before addiction derailed his career. After entering treatment in 2020, he found lasting recovery and purpose. He now serves as Senior Clinical Liaison – Business Development at Sunshine Behavioral Health, helping others access life-changing care.Connect with Jordan on LinkedInLearn more about Sunshine Behavioral HealthMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Voltage FM, Spencer ClarksonTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art: DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    3 Std. und 14 Min.
  • Life After Skid Row at 19, Going to Treatment 60 Times, and My Dog and My Truck Getting Stolen by a Woman I Met in Detox
    Nov 20 2025
    At the age of 17, Robert entered treatment for the first time for heroin, painkillers, and Dilaudid addiction. Over the next few years, he cycled through nearly 60 detoxes and programs across the country, spending several years in and out of institutions. At 19, he moved to California for a fresh start—attending trauma therapy, enrolling in college, and playing football at Santa Monica College—until a fractured femur ended his athletic goals and he literally ended up homeless and living on Skid Row. Soon after, his plans to serve in the Texas Army National Guard abruptly ended with a medical discharge for a heart condition.He later moved to Florida, played arena football briefly, and relapsed into pill mills, drug dealing, and toxic relationships, including one that left him homeless after losing his truck, dog, and everything he owned. A severe health crisis landed him in the ICU, where he had to relearn how to walk. When his family finally cut off all financial support, Robert was forced to take full responsibility for his recovery.From there, he began to rebuild. He committed to treatment, fitness, and therapy, became a certified peer and family specialist, and built a career helping others navigate recovery. Along the way, he met his wife and found purpose through faith, structure, and service.Today, Robert is in long-term recovery and continues to advocate for higher standards in addiction treatment, supportive housing, and accountability-based recovery programs.GUESTRobert Braun, LCDC-IOwner/Manager/CEO at Healing House Mens Sober LivingRobert Braun is a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor Intern (LCDC-I) and serves as Owner, Manager, and CEO at Healing House Mens Sober Living, where he leads with personal experience and dedication to supporting men in recovery. He is also a case manager at Magnolia City Detox in Conroe, Texas.Learn more about Healing House Mens Sober LivingLearn more about Magnolia City DetoxMatt Handy is the founder of Harmony Grove Behavioral Health in Houston, Texas, where their mission is to provide compassionate, evidence-based care for anyone facing addiction, mental health challenges, and co-occurring disorders.Find out more at harmonygrovebh.com If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and help is always available. If you or anyone you know needs help, give us a call 24 hours a day at 844-430-3060.My Last Relapse explores what everyone is thinking but no one is saying about addiction and recovery through conversations with those whose lives have changed.For anyone disillusioned with traditional recovery and feeling left out, misunderstood, or weighed down by unrealistic expectations, this podcast looks ahead—rejecting the lies and dogma that keep people from imagining life without using.Got a question for us? Leave us a message or voicemail at mylastrelapse.comFind us on YouTube @MyLastRelapse and follow Matt on Instagram @matthew.handy.17Host: Matthew HandyProducer: Eva SheieAssistant Producers: Mary Ellen Clarkson & Hannah BurkhartEngineering: Voltage FM, Spencer ClarksonTheme music: Survive The Tide, Machina AeonCover Art: DMARKMy Last Relapse is a production of Kind Creative: kindcreative.com
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    3 Std. und 9 Min.