Recommended Episodes

• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame with Carolyn Allard
• Secret #79: Fierce Compassion with Dr. Dennis Tirch
• Secret #65: The Self-Help Paradox with Joe Oliver

Why are we so much harsher with ourselves than we are with the people we love?

In this episode, Holly Yates and Shawn Costello-Whooley join Chris and Emma to explore the powerful role of the inner critic. Together, they unpack where self-critical thoughts come from, why they often masquerade as protection, and how they can quietly shape our relationships, confidence, and sense of self-worth.

Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), compassion-focused approaches, and their new book The Inner Critic Workbook, Holly and Shawn explain how self-criticism often develops as an attempt to keep us safe, connected, and accepted. The conversation explores shame, belonging, perfectionism, social comparison, parenting, and the courage required to respond to ourselves with kindness rather than cruelty.

This episode offers practical tools for recognizing your inner critic, understanding its function, and developing a healthier relationship with the thoughts that tell you you're not enough.

Key Takeaways

• The inner critic often develops as a misguided attempt to protect us.
• Shame thrives in secrecy and disconnection.
• Self-compassion is not self-indulgence or letting yourself off the hook.
• Values can help distinguish between a helpful coach and a harmful critic.
• Responding is different from reacting.
• Connection is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame.
• We can learn to relate differently to self-critical thoughts without eliminating them.

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #12: Imposter Syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard
• Secret #73: Confidence with Michael Herold
• Secret #80: The Anxiety Advantage with Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary

Why is asking for help so hard?

For many people, needing support feels like failure. Whether it's therapy, medication, weight loss surgery, or asking others for assistance, we often carry the belief that we should be able to do everything on our own.

In this candid conversation, Dr. Jill Stoddard shares her lifelong struggle with body image, dieting, and shame. She discusses the decision to pursue weight loss surgery, the judgment she faced afterward, and why society often labels support as "cheating."

Together, Chris, Emma, and Jill unpack the complicated intersection of weight, identity, appearance, values, and cultural expectations. They explore the role of uncertainty, discomfort, self-compassion, and psychological flexibility in creating lasting change.

Ultimately, this conversation isn't really about weight loss—it's about giving ourselves permission to ask for help, challenge shame, and pursue the life we want without needing anyone else's approval.

Key Takeaways

• Asking for help is not weakness—it is often wisdom.
• Weight loss tools, medications, and surgery are not "cheating."
• Shame often drives unhealthy relationships with food and body image.
• Values provide a more sustainable path than willpower alone.
• Learning to tolerate discomfort is essential for long-term change.
• The goal isn't perfection—it's psychological flexibility.
• We can support others without judging the choices they make for their bodies.

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #50: Happy High Achievers with Dr. Mary Anderson
• Secret #57: Conflict Resilience with Bob Bordone and Dr. Joel Salinas
• Secret #73: Confidence with Michael Herold

What if anxiety isn’t the enemy we think it is?

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary challenges the modern belief that anxiety is something to eliminate, suppress, or “fix.” Instead, she reframes anxiety as an essential human emotion that helps us prepare for uncertainty, pursue meaningful goals, and navigate life with courage and hope.

Chris and Emma explore why we’ve become increasingly intolerant of discomfort, how avoidance fuels chronic anxiety, and why emotional resilience requires learning how to move through difficult feelings rather than around them. The conversation also explores parenting anxious children, performance anxiety in athletes, social support, and the powerful difference between fear and anxiety.

This episode offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding anxiety differently and for building a healthier relationship with discomfort, uncertainty, and emotional struggle.

Key Takeaways

• Why anxiety is essential for growth and resilience
• The difference between fear and anxiety
• How avoidance fuels chronic anxiety
• Why emotional discomfort builds psychological flexibility
• How the “3Ls” framework helps manage anxiety

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes:

• Secret #56: Spirituality with Dr. Matthieu Villatte
• Secret #65: The Self-Help Paradox with Joe Oliver
• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame with Carolyn Allard

What if compassion isn’t about being kind or soft, but about becoming stronger and more courageous?

In this episode, Dr. Dennis Tirch challenges common misconceptions about compassion and introduces a more powerful and grounded understanding. Compassion is not about avoiding discomfort or being agreeable. It is about developing the strength to face suffering, set boundaries, and act in alignment with what truly matters.

This conversation explores how compassion relates to fear, threat, and safety, and why it can be so difficult to embody in everyday life. From parenting and relationships to therapy and cultural divides, this episode offers a deeper, more honest look at what it really means to live with compassion.

Key Takeaways

• Why compassion is often misunderstood as weakness
• The connection between compassion, courage, and psychological flexibility
• How the threat system limits empathy and perspective-taking
• Why real compassion includes boundaries and strength
• How to train compassion through perspective-taking and awareness

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #26: Victim Blame with Dr. Amy Beddows
• Secret #74: The Cost of Pretending with Jonathan Kanter
• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame with Carolyn Allard

Why are people drawn to horror, especially those who have experienced trauma?

In this episode, Dr. Amy Beddows explores the surprising connection between horror films and healing. What seems counterintuitive at first actually reveals something deeply human. Horror can provide language for the unspeakable, offer a sense of control, and create space to process experiences that are otherwise difficult to articulate.

This conversation challenges the stigma around horror and reframes it as a meaningful psychological and cultural tool. From catharsis and metaphor to social connection and survivor validation, this episode opens up a new way of understanding both trauma and the stories we tell about it.

Key Takeaways

• Why horror can help process trauma and difficult emotions
• How horror provides language for the unspeakable
• The role of metaphor and representation in healing
• Why horror can create validation for survivors
• How culture and society shape the horror we create

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #76: Ageism
• Secret #75: Impossible Masculinity
• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame

Why does it feel like no matter how much we do, it’s never enough?

In this episode, Kerry Makin-Byrd breaks down the paradox of overwhelm and why so many of us feel stuck between doing too much and still feeling like we’re falling behind. We explore the difference between stress, burnout, and overwhelm, and why overwhelm isn’t just about having too much to do.

Kerry introduces a practical framework to navigate overwhelm in real time, helping us understand how our nervous system, environment, and expectations all contribute to feeling overloaded. This conversation is both deeply validating and immediately actionable for anyone feeling stretched too thin.

Key Takeaways

• What overwhelm actually feels like in the body and mind
• The difference between overwhelm, burnout, and stress
• Why burnout is often driven by systems not individuals
• How to soothe, transcend, and move through overwhelm
• Why doing more is often the trap that keeps us stuck

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame
• Secret #74: The Cost of Pretending
• Secret #75: Impossible Masculinity

What if aging isn’t the problem—but our beliefs about aging are?

In this episode, we discuss ageism with Dr. Claudia Drossel. Together, we explore how aging is often misunderstood as decline, when in reality many of the challenges we associate with aging are shaped by cultural bias, environment, and access to support.

This conversation reframes aging as a form of diversity, challenges common myths about loneliness, health, and capability, and explores how our environments, relationships, and societal structures influence quality of life across the lifespan.

We also examine how subtle forms of ageism show up in everyday language, healthcare, and social systems—and what we can do to change them.

Key Takeaways

• Why ageism is one of the most overlooked forms of bias
• The difference between aging and disease
• How culture shapes our experience of getting older
• Why quality of relationships matters more than quantity
• How to create more inclusive, intergenerational communities

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)

Recommended Episodes

• Secret #73: The Confidence Paradox
• Secret #72: Transforming Guilt and Shame
• Secret #74: The Cost of Pretending

What does it actually mean to raise boys in a culture that both expects masculinity and criticizes it?

In this episode, journalist and author Ruth Whippman joins Chris McCurry and Emma Waddington to explore the pressures boys face in the age of “impossible masculinity.” Drawing from her book BoyMom, Ruth explains how cultural narratives about masculinity shape boys’ emotional lives, relationships, and sense of identity.

The conversation explores the surprising science of boys’ emotional development, the cultural contradictions boys must navigate today, and why many young men feel lost when it comes to friendship, vulnerability, and connection. Ruth also shares practical guidance for parents raising boys today and introduces her framework of curiosity, critical thinking, and connection.

• Raising boys in the age of impossible masculinity
• Why boys may be more emotionally vulnerable than we assume
• How cultural stereotypes shape boys’ emotional lives
• The importance of curiosity and connection when raising boys

View extended shownotes here

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)