In this episode of Last Date, I sit down with intimacy coach, tantra instructor, shibari teacher, and former professional dominatrix Rina Trevi to unpack one of the most misunderstood topics in modern relationships: kink and BDSM.

We explore what kink/BDSM is really about — and why it has far less to do with pain or shock value, and far more to do with curiosity, presence, attunement, and emotional safety.

We discuss:

- Why dominance and submission are about trust, not control

- How slowing down can completely transform your sex life

- The psychology behind humiliation and vulnerability

- Why vulnerability is a prerequisite for connection

- How role play taps into something deeper than physical sensation

- Red flags to watch for in the kink community- How to share fantasies with a partner (even if they’re not “kinky”)

- How to safely explore power dynamics and build trust

I also share how I became curious about BDSM after dating someone who challenged my assumptions — and what surprised me most when I attended Rina’s shibari workshop. What I thought would be about learning knots turned out to be about presence, nonverbal communication, and creating a space where your partner feels safe enough to let go.

This conversation isn’t about shock value.

It’s about depth.

It’s about trust.

It’s about learning how to slow down — in sex and in life.

Follow this channel for future conversations about modern dating and relationships.

Follow on YouTube: ⁠https://youtu.be/cNIcj9R5ycw

Follow Danny on Instagram for clips and insights: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/lastdatepodcast

https://www.instagram.com/cruxcompatible

Follow Rina Trevi: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/rina_trevi

Rina Trevi (formerly Ms. Renee Trevi) is a Vulnerability & Intimacy Guide, Shibari artist, and author. She is the originator of Shibari as Ritual - a ceremonial modality that approaches rope as a tool for presence, nervous-system attunement, and embodied transformation rather than performance or spectacle.

She is not a Dominatrix, not a masseuse, and not a psychotherapist - though her work draws from all three realms. Her vocation is guiding people back to themselves: raw, unmasked, and alive. Rina creates rigorously safe spaces for healing, self-discovery, and spiritual exploration through the body.

Her path includes 12 years as a full-time professional Domme in New York City and internationally, 10 years of extensive meditation and Tantric spiritual practice in Asia, and 7 years each devoted to Tantric bodywork for women and Shibari as an art of self-discovery.

What actually changes when you date across genders?

In this episode of Last Date, I sit down with Kate Telge to break down what dating men vs. dating women really looks like — beyond stereotypes and assumptions.

We talk about:

• Stepping into the pursuer role for the first time

• Limerence in same-sex relationships — and how quickly it can build

• The “U-Haul lesbian” stereotype — and why there's some truth to it

• How requiring a high-effort dinner date can unintentionally reward performative men

• Why identity and politics can “blow minds” in Austin’s dating scene

• And why communication issues aren’t a gender problem — attachment issues show up everywhere

This conversation doesn’t pretend men and women are the same in dating. There are real differences in dynamics, expectations, and social conditioning. But it also makes one thing clear: not everything can be reduced to gender. Attachment style, power dynamics, identity, and self-awareness still shape outcomes — no matter who you’re dating.

If you’ve ever wondered what actually changes when you date across genders — and what doesn’t — this episode is for you.

Follow the show for future conversations about modern dating and relationships.

Watch the full video episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lastdatepodcast

Follow Danny on Instagram for clips and insights:

https://www.instagram.com/lastdatepodcast

https://www.instagram.com/cruxcompatible

Follow Kate Telge: https://www.instagram.com/kate_telge

Kate Telge is a community builder with a background in tech. She’s led community strategy at companies like Meta, Supernatural, and Tonal, and now runs Open Spaces, a storytelling series in Austin, and Maiven Collective, a community for women founders. She is training for her next HYROX race, and she dreams of one day opening an animal rescue.