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What if your body treats calm like a threat — and a full calendar like safety?
We open the hood on why quiet moments feel uneasy, why a clear calendar can spike anxiety, and how hustle sneaks in as a substitute for safety. This isn’t a willpower problem or an ambition problem. It’s a nervous system pattern that equates urgency with worth — and once you see it, you can change it.
We trace how the nine-to-five narrative gets normalized as the only “safe” path and how many of us outsource our sense of stability to schedules, paychecks, and other people’s approval. Renae shares a candid story about relying on music gigs while building a business, a partner’s stress over an unfilled calendar, and the deeper conditioning that makes “packed equals safe” feel logical.
From there, we unpack the brain science — like the reticular activating system and familiarity bias—and why your attention keeps finding chaos simply because chaos feels like home.
This conversation also zooms out to the system level. Workplaces quietly benefit when people are slightly anxious: longer hours, fewer questions, and more tolerance for misalignment. We name the cultural scripts that glorify exhaustion and label boundaries as laziness, then offer simple, durable ways to push back—unapologetic lunch breaks, delayed non-urgent replies, spotting manufactured urgency, and asking better questions like “Is this sustainable?” and “Who benefits from this pace?”
If calm has felt suspicious, this episode is your map to making peace feel safe — without blowing up your life.
Free Access to Week One: Burn the Blueprint
If this episode helped you recognize how much of your stress is rooted in conditioning—not personal failure—you can go deeper with Burn the Blueprint, my 4-week self-paced course.
It’s designed to help you identify the beliefs, patterns, and nervous system responses you’ve been running on autopilot—and start changing them from the inside out.
You can access Week One for free to explore the conditioning you’ve been living inside before deciding what comes next.
http://wayward-wellness-coaching.kit.com/burn-the-blueprint-week-one
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15 Min.