Episode Description

"Healing happens in moments. And sometimes one moment changes everything."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Emily, founder of Moment Cares — a full-service recovery and mental health support organization helping individuals and families navigate substance use, trauma, and emotional crisis.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It lives in the body. It hides in addiction. It shows up as anxiety, avoidance, overworking, numbing, and survival mode.

And in this powerful conversation, Sharon and Emily connect the dots between grief, trauma, addiction, and the nervous system.

With 18 years of personal sobriety and 15 years of professional experience, Emily shares how her own recovery journey revealed something deeper: alcohol and drugs are often not the root problem — they are the symptom. Underneath is unprocessed pain. Unfelt grief. A nervous system stuck in fear.

Together, they explore the head–heart connection, why so many people live disconnected from their bodies, and how learning to sit with emotion — even for one minute — can begin to change everything.

This episode is not just about addiction.
It is about grief, trauma, community, and connection.

Because healing does not happen in isolation.
It happens when someone says, "Me too."

How addiction and numbing behaviors are often responses to unprocessed grief

Why sitting with emotion feels terrifying — and why it actually sets you free

The difference between intellectualizing pain and feeling it in the body

How trauma disconnects us from our own nervous system

Why community is one of the most powerful tools in recovery

How mental health, grief, and substance use are deeply connected

You do not need to answer these all at once.

What have I been using to avoid feeling?

Is my struggle really about the surface behavior — or something deeper?

Where did I learn that my emotions were not safe?

Who is safe enough for me to begin telling the truth?

The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause.

Ask yourself:

"What am I feeling in my body right now?"

Not what you're thinking.
Not the story.

Just the feeling.

Sit with it for one minute.

Watch what happens.

That minute might be your moment.

Learn more about Emily and Moment Cares at momentcares.com

👉 Find grief support and resources at https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Episode Description

"You may not get to choose what you feel. But you do get to choose what you practice."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down something most grievers have never been told:

You have choices in your grief.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief feels automatic. The memories. The body reactions. The waves that hit before you're even fully awake. It can feel like something is happening to you — and you are stuck.

But what if you are not stuck?

This episode walks through 10 real choices every griever faces — not fluffy mindset shifts, but nervous-system level decisions that shape whether you stay in survival mode or begin moving toward healing.

From avoidance vs. engagement, to isolation vs. regulated support, to surviving vs. living again — Sharon challenges the belief that time alone heals and invites you into active participation in your own healing.

This episode is not about forcing feelings.
It is about practicing safety.

Because grief healing is not passive.
It is something you participate in.

• Why you cannot always choose your emotions — but you can choose your response
• The difference between avoidance and true engagement
• How isolation keeps the nervous system in threat mode
• Why intellectualizing grief is not the same as processing it
• What it actually means to retrain your nervous system
• How survival mode becomes a habit — and how to slowly shift out of it

Questions to Sit With After Listening

You do not need to rush these.

• Where am I avoiding instead of engaging?
• Am I waiting for time to fix this — or am I participating in healing?
• Who feels safe enough to witness my grief without trying to fix it?
• What am I practicing daily — survival or safety?

Write this at the top of a page:

"What am I practicing in my grief?"

Then list your honest answers.

No shame.
No judgment.

Just awareness.

Then circle one choice you are ready to practice differently this week.

Healing does not happen by accident.
It happens by repetition.

👉 Find everything at https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

Episode Description
"Your grief is not a burden. Your silence is."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, asks a hard but necessary question:

What is your grief costing you?

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief does not just take the person you love. It takes your energy. Your focus. Your sense of self. And when you start hiding it, it takes even more.

Many grievers believe staying quiet makes them strong. They believe pretending to be "okay" protects the people around them. But silence does not protect you. It isolates you. It disconnects you. It keeps you stuck in survival mode.

This episode explores the hidden cost of emotional suppression and why grief needs a place to land.

This episode is not about falling apart.
It is about telling the truth.

Because healing does not happen in hiding.
It happens when your pain is seen.

• Why hiding your grief drains your energy and disconnects you from support
• How silence keeps you stuck in survival mode
• The difference between protecting others and abandoning yourself
• Why grief needs space, air, and honesty to begin healing
• Simple, practical ways to start telling the truth about your pain

You do not need to rush these.

• What has my grief been costing me emotionally?
• Where have I been pretending instead of telling the truth?
• Who feels safe enough to hear even a small piece of my pain?
• What is one thing I need to say out loud this week?

At the top of a page, write:

"What my silence is costing me."

Be honest.
No performing.
No minimizing.

Just tell the truth.

Then circle one small step you can take this week to let your grief have a place to land.

That is where the shift begins.

👉 Find everything at https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool

"Grief does not disappear when you ignore it. It just gets heavier when you carry it alone."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens an honest conversation about men, grief, and emotional pain.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief is not just sadness. It is a full-body experience that affects thoughts, emotions, and the nervous system. And while grief impacts everyone, many men are taught early that strength means silence.

This episode challenges the belief that "big boys don't cry" and explores what really happens when men are never given space to feel, talk, or be witnessed in their grief.

Sharon is joined by Coach Martize of The Frazier Group, who brings his personal story and professional experience into the conversation. Together, they unpack how emotional suppression is learned, why avoidance is not weakness but survival, and how outdated beliefs keep people stuck long after the loss.

This episode is not about fixing grief.
It is about creating space for it.

Because pain does not need to be handled.
It needs to be held.

• Why emotional pain is often avoided, not because of weakness, but because of conditioning

• How men are taught to survive instead of feel

• The difference between strength and emotional suppression

• Where beliefs about toughness and vulnerability come from

• Why grief needs space, not silence

You do not need to answer these quickly.

• Where did I learn that showing emotion was unsafe?

• What feelings have I been pushing down instead of listening to?

• How has "being strong" shaped the way I grieve?

• Where do I need space instead of advice?

Write this at the top of a page:

"What I was taught about emotions."

Now finish the sentence honestly.
No fixing.
No explaining.

Just notice what comes up.

That awareness matters.

👉 Find everything at clickhereforhope.com

"She was more than her ending. And healing didn't mean letting her go. It meant letting the pain stop running the show."

In Part 2 of this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues the raw conversation with Nikki about grieving a mother who was also her best friend.

This episode moves beyond the loss and into what happens after the world keeps spinning and you're still stuck.

Nikki shares what it was really like to resist grief work, to believe that suffering was the only way to honor her mom, and to carry guilt she didn't even realize she was holding. Together, Sharon and Nikki unpack one of the most painful grief lies of all: "If I heal, it means I didn't love them enough."

You'll hear how healing finally began when Nikki stopped protecting the pain and allowed herself to tell the truth about what she lost, what she carried, and what she deserved next.

This episode is about releasing unhealthy grief, honoring the full life of your person, and learning how to live again without betraying the love that came before.

• Why many grievers believe suffering equals loyalty

• How guilt hides inside grief and keeps you stuck

• What it means to be "more than their ending"

• Why healing doesn't erase love, memories, or connection

• How letting the pain soften creates space to celebrate your person again

You don't have to answer these perfectly. Just honestly.

• Where have I believed that my pain is protecting my person?

• What part of my grief feels unhealthy, even if I don't want to admit it yet?

• Am I afraid that healing means leaving them behind?

• If my person could speak to me right now, what would they want for my life?

• What would it look like to grieve and live at the same time?

Write this sentence at the top of a page:

"They were more than their ending."

Now finish it without rushing.
Let memories come. Let truth come. Let the love show up.

You're not erasing them.
You're letting their whole life matter again.

"You were never meant to grieve quietly. Your emotions didn't show up to hurt you. They showed up to help you process what just happened."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Nikki to talk about a kind of loss that cuts straight to the core. The loss of a mother who was also a best friend.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn't one-dimensional. There are layers. And one of the most overlooked layers is the grief that comes from losing the person who knew you, guided you, and helped you make sense of life.

In this conversation, Nikki shares the story of her mom Cheryl. Not just who she was, but how deeply intertwined she was in every part of her life. From daily texts and phone calls to faith, caregiving, unanswered prayers, and the shock of having no time to prepare.

This episode explores what happens when grief collides with faith, when anger at God feels unavoidable, and when the foundation you were raised on both supports you and breaks your heart at the same time.

We talk about the reality of caregiving, the trauma of watching someone you love decline, and the quiet ways people stay connected after loss. Keeping a phone on. Sending messages that will never be answered. Letting grandchildren leave voicemails. Choosing connection instead of rules.

This is an honest, raw conversation about layered grief, unfinished moments, and learning how to live in a world where your anchor is gone.

You're not doing grief wrong.
You're responding to something that mattered deeply.

Let's grieve that shit together.

• Why losing a mother who was also a best friend creates a second layer of grief
• How caregiving changes the grief experience before death even happens
• What it's like to have no time to process before everything changes
• How faith can both comfort and anger you after loss
• Why staying connected in your own way is not wrong
• The difference between healing and erasing the relationship

Take your time with these. There's no rush.

1. Who was your person to you beyond the title they held in your life?

2. What part of your grief do you feel most people don't understand?

3. Where has faith supported you, and where has it felt complicated or painful?

4. What unfinished moments or conversations still live in your body?

5. What connection are you holding onto that brings you comfort, even if others wouldn't understand it?

6. If you stopped judging your grief, what would you allow yourself to feel?

Write this sentence at the top of a page:

"What hurts the most about losing them is…"

Let yourself finish it without fixing, explaining, or softening the answer.
That honesty is part of your healing.

🎥 Watch Sharon's grief teachings and video overviews
🎧 Explore deep-dive podcast episodes like this one
📘 Access study guides, journal prompts, and grief education
🧠 Continue your work inside The Grief School

👉 Everything lives at clickhereforhope.com

You don't have to rush this.
You don't have to be okay.
You just have to be honest.

"Your brain didn't break when your person died. It's just doing what it knows—trying to protect you from pain. But grief doesn't live in your brain. It lives in your heart."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, dives deep into one of the biggest truths about grief: you can't think your way out of it.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered firsthand that grief isn't logical—it's emotional. Your brain tries to reason, fix, and explain the unexplainable, while your heart just breaks wide open. That war between the head and the heart? It's exactly why you feel like you're spinning.

This episode unpacks the difference between intellect, emotion, and sensation—and shows why healing can only happen when you stop trying to "figure it out" and start feeling it. Sharon shares the same lessons that inspired her book This Is Grief and walks you through how to finally calm your mind so you can listen to your heart.

Because the truth is: your heart already knows what your brain keeps trying to solve.

• Why grief is emotional—not intellectual—and how that changes everything

• The silent war between your brain and your heart after loss

• Why logic and reason can't fix what's broken in your soul

• How thoughts like "Why didn't I go?" or "I should have done more" keep you stuck in pain

• What it really means to "drop into your heart" and let it speak

If you've been spinning in your thoughts, here's your assignment:
Grab a sheet of paper and write down one question that won't stop looping in your mind—like "Why me?" or "Why didn't I answer the phone?"

Now write your honest answer. Don't edit. Don't analyze. Just let your heart respond.

Then underneath that answer, finish this sentence:
"What I really feel is…"

That's where your healing begins—not in your thoughts, but in your truth.

🎥 Get the 4-Part Video Series "This Is Grief" — Walk through Sharon's full teaching on what grief is, where it lives, and how to heal.
📖 Read the Book "This Is Grief" — The definition Sharon needed when Austin died.
🧠 Join The Grief School's Study Hall — Weekly live support where you can share, learn, and heal together.

👉 Download or watch it all at clickhereforhope.com

In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal.

This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option.

They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people's expectations.

The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being "good" in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work.

This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing.

1. Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck

2. The difference between pain and suffering in grief

3. How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness

4. Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment

5. The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch

6. Why being angry at God does not block healing

7. The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter

8. Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong

9. How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm

10. Why healing requires action, not waiting

11. The importance of boundaries when you are grieving

12. Why emotions need time and space to do their job

1. Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices?

2. What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it?

3. In what moments do I notice my joy being "sold off" to other people or situations?

4. What emotions am I afraid to feel fully?

5. How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve?

6. Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly?

7. What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work?

Grief is not a script.
It is not a performance.
And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love.

You are allowed to feel anger.
You are allowed to question faith.
You are allowed to heal.

This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again.

This is Grieve That Shit.
And this is where healing continues.