Episode Description

"You may not get to choose what you feel. But you do get to choose what you practice."

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, breaks down something most grievers have never been told:

You have choices in your grief.

After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief feels automatic. The memories. The body reactions. The waves that hit before you're even fully awake. It can feel like something is happening to you — and you are stuck.

But what if you are not stuck?

This episode walks through 10 real choices every griever faces — not fluffy mindset shifts, but nervous-system level decisions that shape whether you stay in survival mode or begin moving toward healing.

From avoidance vs. engagement, to isolation vs. regulated support, to surviving vs. living again — Sharon challenges the belief that time alone heals and invites you into active participation in your own healing.

This episode is not about forcing feelings.
It is about practicing safety.

Because grief healing is not passive.
It is something you participate in.

• Why you cannot always choose your emotions — but you can choose your response
• The difference between avoidance and true engagement
• How isolation keeps the nervous system in threat mode
• Why intellectualizing grief is not the same as processing it
• What it actually means to retrain your nervous system
• How survival mode becomes a habit — and how to slowly shift out of it

Questions to Sit With After Listening

You do not need to rush these.

• Where am I avoiding instead of engaging?
• Am I waiting for time to fix this — or am I participating in healing?
• Who feels safe enough to witness my grief without trying to fix it?
• What am I practicing daily — survival or safety?

Write this at the top of a page:

"What am I practicing in my grief?"

Then list your honest answers.

No shame.
No judgment.

Just awareness.

Then circle one choice you are ready to practice differently this week.

Healing does not happen by accident.
It happens by repetition.

👉 Find everything at https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool