What happens when a Catholic priest steps away from his vocation, moves to the cornfields of Ohio, and seeks out a new kind of spiritual initiation?

In this thirty-fifth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Joe Grilliot to discuss his June 2025 initiation at Osprey Wilds in Sandstone, Minnesota. Joe, a former priest turned farmer, shares his journey of navigating a major life transition—from ministry to marriage, fatherhood, and farming—and why he sought out the rites to make an intentional transition into true manhood.

Episode Highlights

• Ticks as Teachers: Joe recounts his solo time in the wilderness, where avoiding ticks and mosquitoes taught him how to push through his fear with humor.
• A Unique Crossroads: The massive life transition that brought Joe to the rites: leaving the priesthood, getting married, having a son during COVID, and becoming a farmer in Ohio.
• The Ritual Bond: The powerful, immediate connection Joe formed with his partner, John, during their very first ritual on Friday night.
• A Broader Sacramentality: How Joe's background as a Catholic priest influenced his experience, and how the rites helped him realize God's presence extends far beyond specific words and rituals.
• Fatherhood and the Live Edge: Joe's ongoing work to manage his anger—a trait inherited from his own father on the farm—so he can be a healthier, safer presence for his young son.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Joe Grilliot for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a highly successful, Enneagram 3 Carmelite priest confesses to being an "inadequate son" and strips down in the woods?

In this special encore presentation of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller brings back his conversation with Bob Colaresi. As Brian heads to the Illinois Men's Rites of Passage this week, we revisit Bob's powerful 2005 initiation in Minnesota. Bob, the founder emeritus of these rites, shares his journey of overcoming his fear of mosquitoes, discovering the profound impact of drumming, and confronting the false self that drove his messianic need to fix everything.

Episode Highlights

• The Mosquito Fear: Bob admits he almost backed out of the rites after reading Adam's Return, only to be lovingly guilted into going by his spiritual director, Susan, who made him a drum.
• The Inadequate Son: How a profound grief ritual forced an Enneagram 3 administrator to publicly name the deep inadequacy driving his worldly success.
• Heaven Smiled: Spending a day in the woods on the three-year anniversary of his father's funeral, Bob finally heard the words he had waited his whole life to hear.
• Moses and the Veil: The powerful story of returning home in tears, and Susan's beautiful recognition that she had looked right into the heart of his soul.
• Dropping the Messianic Complex: How the rites helped Bob stop treating people like projects to be fixed and instead listen to them with genuine, self-emptying love.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Bob Colaresi for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a corporate executive caught in the rat race sits in silence by a pond and finally lets his guard down?

In this special encore presentation of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller brings back his very first conversation on the podcast with Chester Trocha. As Brian heads to the Illinois Men's Rites of Passage this week to stand with the men crossing the threshold, we revisit Chester's powerful 2012 initiation at Pilgrim Park. Chester, a co-convener for Illuman of Illinois, shares his journey of leaving behind the superficial containers of the corporate world to discover a deeper spiritual churning.

Guided by the wisdom of Weaver Belden Lane, Chester recalls the profound impact of intentional rituals, the beauty of a diverse council group featuring a Franciscan friar and a Mennonite minister, and the uncontainable joy that led him to buy coffee for a stranger on the drive home.

Episode Highlights

• The First Encounter: Reliving the very first episode of the podcast as a special encore presentation.
• Belden Lane's Wisdom: The incredible impact of nature, silence, and an authentic storyteller.
• Sobbing by the Pond: The overwhelming mix of emotions Chester experienced immediately after the rites concluded.
• The Starbucks Joy: Driving home and feeling an uncontainable happiness that spilled over to a stranger.
• The Slow Burn: How the rites initiated a slow spiritual churning that led to daily centering prayer and the CAC's Living School.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Chester Trocha for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when you retire and realize you don't have any in-depth male relationships outside of your professional life?

In this thirty-second episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Steve Duncan to discuss his 2015 initiation at Camp Tamarack in Northern California. Steve shares his journey of taking a huge leap of faith into men's work, arriving at the rites in a carpool "clown car," and the transformative power of vulnerability.

Episode Highlights

• The Leap of Faith: How retiring and wanting a deeper relationship with his new son-in-law led Steve to seek out male connection.
• Supported in the Struggle: Steve recalls a deeply moving moment during a physical ritual when a team member gently supported him.
• Awakening to Contemplation: How the first morning sit around a campfire opened the door to a rich, ongoing contemplative practice.
• MROP vs. Elder Rites: Steve compares the multi-generational bonding of his men's rites to the profound, specific grief work of the Elder Rites.
• Holding the Thread: A beautiful reflection on William Stafford's poem "The Way It Is," and why Steve's marriage is the thread that keeps him grounded.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Steve Duncan for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

Why am I sharing an episode from another podcast on our feed? Because understanding the Enneagram is an incredibly powerful tool for the masculine spiritual journey—and I wanted to share a conversation that dives deep into it! Rest assured, there is also plenty of relevant discussion here about Illuman and the Men's Rites of Passage.

In this special thirty-first episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, the tables are turned as host Brian Mueller becomes the guest on Nine Lives with Jeff King: Live Your Best One. Jeff, a counselor and coach with the Narrative Enneagram, interviews Brian about his experience navigating life, faith, and community as an Enneagram Type One (The Reformer).

Episode Highlights

• The Enneagram as a Spiritual Tool: Why understanding your personality type is essential for growth, and how the "Type One" drive for perfection can be both a gift and a heavy burden.
• What is Mine to Do?: Learning to discern the difference between healthy responsibility and codependent fixing.
• The Origins of Illuman: Brian reflects on Richard Rohr’s early New Jerusalem community in Cincinnati, the history of the MROP, and the deep, universal hunger for authentic brotherhood.
• Poetry and the type 1-to-4 connection: How stepping into creative expression through mystic poetry allowed Brian to silence his inner critic and process the grief of his divorce
• Choosing Presence: Reclaiming meditation and contemplative prayer as a deeply Western, Christian tradition of the heart.

Links & Resources

• Jeff King
• Nine Lives with Jeff King (podcast)
• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Jeff King for allowing me to share an episode of his podcast - Nine Lives with Jeff King: Live Your Best One.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when you spend five years pouring your heart and soul into building a business, only to have it completely fall apart through no fault of your own?

In this thirtieth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mike Clawson from Austin, Texas, to discuss his 2022 initiation at Johnsonburg, New Jersey. Mike opens up about arriving at the rites carrying the heavy grief of a lost "passion project" and a suddenly unmoored identity. As a former administrator for Illuman, Mike offers a unique behind-the-scenes perspective on the organization, while reflecting on the challenges of dropping his own guard to be truly vulnerable with other men.

Episode Highlights

• The Disorienting Loss: Navigating the grief of a failed business venture and learning that "it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose."
• Lover and Magician: Why the MROP focuses more on the emotional depth of the Lover and Magician archetypes, rather than the traditional King and Warrior energies.
• The Rain and the Woods: The somatic, visceral power of sitting alone in the freezing rain to excavate unresolved grief.
• Human Work vs. Men's Work: Mike’s perspective on why the inner work of the rites transcends gender, even if men specifically need a male-only container to feel safe enough to begin it.
• Redefining Ikigai: Shifting away from the Western obsession with "grand purpose" to find meaning in the simple, everyday things that get you out of bed.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Mike Clawson for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a retired naval pilot—who used to schedule his Saturday naps days in advance—steps out of his head and into his heart?

In this twenty-ninth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Jay Gallamore to discuss his 2024 initiation at Shrine Mont, Virginia. Jay shares his journey of navigating PTSD, divorce, and the unraveling of his life, ultimately finding a tighter steering wheel for his spiritual path through Illuman. He opens up about the shock of the "mirror gauntlet," balancing his "three buckets" of life, and why the radical inclusivity of men's work needs to consciously make space for military veterans and first responders.

Episode Highlights

• The Wide Road: How hitting rock bottom with PTSD and a crumbling marriage sparked a profound spiritual journey.
• The Mirror Gauntlet: The emotional shock of witnessing the deep childhood wounds of other men during ritual.
• Head to Heart: Transitioning from a highly analytical, schedule-driven life to a grounded morning meditation practice.
• Military Men & Radical Belonging: A candid discussion on the tension conservative or military men might feel in progressive spiritual spaces, and the need for true inclusion.
• The Three Buckets: Learning the hard way to balance family, religion, and volunteer work without overcommitting.

Links & Resources

• Brian Mueller (Host)
• BriansPoems.com
• Illuman MROP
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
• Trust Stillness by Brian Mueller

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Jay Gallamore for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a touring worship leader from Dodge City leaves his intellectual scaffolding in the woods and realizes that "dead men don't swat flies"?

In this twenty-eighth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Jared Adams for a fascinating conversation about his 2012 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Jared, a freelance creative and touring singer-songwriter, shares how he arrived at the rites exhausted by the cognitive dissonance of his Reformed and Evangelical upbringing. Guided by the "apophatic" shepherding of Weaver Belden Lane, Jared learned the profound power of putting down his notepad, embracing beginner's mind, and surrendering to the magic of the woods.

Episode Highlights

• Dead Men Don't Swat Flies: Jared recounts laying prostrate in a meadow during his day of death, realizing he had to surrender his physical comfort and let the ants crawl over him to truly honor the ritual.
• The "I Am" Breakdown: The terrifying moment in his first council circle when he ran out of polite, dictionary-ready adjectives and was forced to drop his facade.
• Ruined for the Show: How the profound authenticity of sitting in a circle of men made it impossible to return to the performance-driven "fog machines" of Sunday morning worship leading.
• Building the Youth Rites: Jared's decade-long involvement in helping create a 24-hour initiation for teenage boys, and his excitement to finally experience it with his own son, Cohen.
• The Locksmith Epilogue: Accidentally locking his keys in the car after the rites, leading to hours of profound reflection on a stump with Father Bob.

Links & Resources

• Annagail
• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• The The Solace of Fierce Landscapes: Exploring Desert and Mountain Spirituality by Belden Lane
• Brian Mueller (Host)

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Jared Adams for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams