What happens when an 8th-grade math teacher, who often felt more comfortable in the presence of women than talking sports with men, enters the deep woods of Minnesota and reconnects with his own sense of masculinity?

In this twenty-sixth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Ken Beck for an incredibly honest and refreshing conversation about his 2013 initiation at Osprey Wilds. Ken shares his journey of overcoming his intimidation by other men, discovering his own unique "flavor of masculinity," and the profound relief of releasing a long-held secret shadow in council.

Ken reflects on the Midwest "John Wayne" stoicism he grew up with, the slow "ironing board" process of true transformation, and the power of learning to hold space for others without trying to cure or fix them. Whether you are a young man still building your container or an older man feeling stuck despite your outward accomplishments, Ken’s insights offer a beautiful invitation to step into radical vulnerability.

Episode Highlights

• The Ticks and the Boulder: Ken recalls finding a liminal rock between the forest and the plains for his wilderness solitude. He spent the time sharing the space with ticks that had fallen from the oak trees where the deer fed.
• A Different Shadow: Ken attended the rites intending to grieve his father's death, but unexpectedly found himself releasing a hidden, shameful story from his teaching career instead.
• His Own Flavor of Masculinity: Moving past the cultural expectation of the "protector/fixer," Ken discusses finding comfort in his unique identity and moving past the fear of male spaces.
• The Ironing Board: Why transformation isn't always a sudden light switch, but a slow, gradual process of smoothing out the wrinkles over time.
• Advice for Young Men: The importance of building a strong container in your 20s and 30s, while recognizing that those achievements won't save you when a real crisis eventually hits.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Ken Beck for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when an academic who built his entire identity around achievement suffers a major heart attack, only to be found sitting in his hospital bed still frantically emailing his co-workers?

In this twenty-fifth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Dave Kraybill for a profound conversation about his 2024 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon, Arizona. Dave, a retired agricultural economist who spent 11 years working in Africa, shares how a therapist’s simple recommendation led him to discover Illuman after years of treating his body like a machine and overworking to earn esteem.

Dave reflects on his journey from a Mennonite farming community—where rhythm and drumming were viewed as "potentially evil"—to crossing the creek at Aravaipa and entering a completely different, deeply somatic world. He speaks movingly about overcoming performance anxiety during a grief ritual, finding a powerful metaphor in a resilient desert plant, and applying Richard Rohr's wisdom that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted". Whether you are struggling to stay present in your relationships or wondering if you should attend the Men's Rites or the Elder Rites, Dave’s wisdom provides a brilliant roadmap for the second half of life.

Episode Highlights

• Not Performance, But Prayer: How a single piece of instruction from a ritual leader shattered Dave's lifelong performance anxiety.
• The Plant in the Rock: Discovering a beautiful metaphor for flourishing in impossible circumstances during his desert solitude.
• The Hospital Wake-Up Call: Realizing his foundation was flawed when he immediately resumed working after a major cardiac event.
• The "Glow": Returning to his men's group after the rites radiating an unexplainable, transformative energy.
• Men's Rites vs. Elder Rites: Dave's practical counsel on how to discern which initiation experience is right for you based on your unresolved wounds.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)
• Aravaipa Canyon Ranch and Retreat Center

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Dave Kraybill for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a retired engineer sitting in the Arizona desert suddenly starts singing Doris Day, only to realize he's being called to help heal the brokenness of other men?

In this twenty-fourth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Al Selder for an inspiring conversation about his 2005 initiation at a YMCA camp in Oracle, Arizona. Al shares how trusting the invitation of other men led him to one of the very first rites held outside of Ghost Ranch, where Weaver Richard Rohr guided him into a profound period of self-reflection.

Al recounts a mystical vision of quaking leaves and running water he experienced in the desert—a vision that ultimately led the Arizona chapter to discover the sacred, liminal grounds of Aravaipa Canyon. He speaks about his transition from simply attending the rites to taking on the monumental task of running the kitchen for over 90 men, eventually becoming the chapter's convener. From the poignant "starfish story" of helping just one person, to the beautiful realization that his own adult son is now seeking out council circles, Al's story is a testament to the quiet, generational power of service.

Episode Highlights

• "Que Sera, Sera": Why a Doris Day song and the memory of his late father-in-law sparked a lifelong commitment to men's work.
• The Vision of Aravaipa: A mysterious desert vision of running water that led to finding a sacred retreat space with a deep, complex history.
• The Starfish Story: Remembering that you don't have to change the whole world—you just have to make a difference for the man standing in front of you.
• Feeding the Brotherhood: The logistical feat of managing a kitchen and camp for 92 men in the middle of a remote canyon.
• Generational Ripples: The joy of witnessing his son decide to start his own council circle after years of observing the work.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor)
• Practicing Presence App
• Illuman MROP
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr
• Brian Mueller (Host)
• Doris Day - Que Sera Sera
• Aravaipa Canyon Ranch and Retreat Center

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Al Selder for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams