This episode is dedicated to the memory of Donovan Vicha.

What happens when a man who spent 45 years carrying the pain of his father's rejection finally shatters the past to discover he is the "possibility of love, joy, and wonder"?

In this sixteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Rich Horton for a deeply moving conversation about his 2014 initiation at Pilgrim Park, Illinois. Rich arrived at the rites in his early 70s seeking to navigate a crossroads in his retirement. He shares the profound sense of welcome he felt on the first night—a deep acceptance he hadn't fully experienced since coming out as a gay man in 1989.

Rich reflects on the visceral experience of breaking a mirror to shatter his past, and speaks candidly about healing from the emotional wound of being told his father "didn't want a sissy for his sons". From finding his daily spirit guide in a red cardinal to honoring the memory of a recently passed brother, Rich's story highlights the transformative power of a welcoming, shoulder-to-shoulder male community.

Episode Highlights

• The Welcome of the Drum: Finding immediate acceptance and safety as a gay man entering the rites.
• Shattering the Past: The profound impact of the broken mirror ritual and looking into the eyes of other men.
• Overcoming the "Sissy" Wound: Healing from a father's painful words after 45 years.
• Love, Joy, and Wonder: A moment of meditation in the trees that defined his soul's true nature.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64P
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVp
• From Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmj
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Rich Horton for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when a man in formation to become clergy realizes his chosen spiritual path is lacking something essential because it isn't speaking to him as a man?

In this fifteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Rich Gierak for an engaging conversation about his 2006 initiation at Ghost Ranch, New Mexico. Rich shares how he embarked on a three-day motorcycle ride to reach the rites, intentionally setting aside expectations to embrace a "beginner's mind" and going "all in" on the experience.

Rich speaks with insight about transitioning from the boyhood foundational skills of the Scouts into a mature, adult understanding of masculinity. From reading Richard Rohr on a church retreat to helping establish the Northern California chapter of Illuman, Rich’s story highlights why winning stops teaching us anything in the second half of life, and why a healthy male identity must be nurtured shoulder-to-shoulder with other men.

Episode Highlights

• The Wild Man's Journey: How a book read on a church retreat sparked a 20-year involvement with men's initiation.
• The Motorcycle Pilgrimage: Setting the intentions of an open heart and a "beginner's mind" during a three-day ride to Ghost Ranch.
• Beyond the Boys: Transitioning from the valuable lessons of the Boy Scouts into the deeper work of mature adult masculinity.
• Iron Sharpens Iron: Why a healthy male identity must be nurtured in the shoulder-to-shoulder company of other men.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64P
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVp
• From Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmj
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Rich Gierak for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams

What happens when an Enneagram 7 psychotherapist who has spent his life running from grief finds himself howling in the desert, realizing he needs to trade his "rock-hard" exterior for a fleshy, fertile heart?

In this fourteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Jeffrey Batstone for a profound conversation about his 2016 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon. Jeffrey shares how he arrived at the rites as a curious young father and therapist, only to be "manhandled" and turned upside down by a wild God. He reflects on the archetypal symbol he received during his solitude—a rock cracking open with water pouring out—and how that image has evolved over a decade from jagged stone to a soft, open solar plexus.

Episode Highlights

• The Cracking Rock: How an archetypal image of water pouring from stone guided a decade of inner transformation.
• The Dropkick of God: Embracing the hard, meaningful, and gentle process of being turned upside down.
• Birthing Grief: Moving through physical postures to release decades of unwept tears and howling madness.
• Locking Horns: The powerful moment of pushing against a brother before finally allowing himself to fall apart and be held.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64P
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVp
• From Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmj
• Dr. Jeffrey Batstone: WaterWays Psychotherapy: https://waterwaystherapy.com
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Jeffrey Batstone for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams