Charles Kingsley's The Water-Babies, made a big splash in 1863. It may have helped end child labour in Britain, but is it actually readable? In this episode, Eleanor and Alasdair encounter a children's classic that's allegorical, didactic, flippant, Christian, scientific and obsessively anti-Irish.

Will Alasdair be able to contain his exasperation? Did Eleanor cheat and read the abridged version? And Charles, mate, what did the Irish ever do to you?

No aspiring orphan should be without a copy of Gertrude Chandler Warner's 1924 classic, The Boxcar Children. Her bafflingly successful mystery adventures were a huge part of ABK's childhood. But what will Eleanor make of these candy-sweet tramps and their highly-idealised life on the run?

Content Warning: Like edgy comedian Ricky Gervais, we do not censor this whimsical kid-lit podcast. Please don't play it to your children unless you're a cool parent who lets them swear and stuff.

They're soft, they're white, they're somewhere between cute and creepy — it's Eleanor and Alasdair. And for this episode, we read Tove Jansson's 1946 adventure Comet In Moominland (Kometjakten) translated by Elizabeth Portch.

We ask, what does it feel like to touch a Moomintroll? How do you pronounce Tove? And is there any better response to environmental catastrophe than baking a cake?

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Here are Eleanor and Alasdair, coming down the stairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head. That's right, Eleanor has murdered Alasdair. But not before recording this month's episode all about A. A. Milne's 1926 classic Winnie the Pooh.

Will Eleanor be able to contain her disdain for the 1966 Disney movie? Will Alasdair's Alan Bennett impression comes out more like Les Dennis doing Mavis from Coronation Street? And are ANY Winnie the Pooh quotes genuine?

In the words of A. A. Milne, "I pity the fool who gets on a plane."

Just like women be shopping, E. B. White. And White's 1952 novel Charlotte's Web is a blackly comical tear-jerker about a spider coming to the aid of a pig who doesn't want to be eaten. Are Eleanor and Alasdair fans of spiders? Or are we absolutely terrified of them?

Well, what do you think? Based on everything you know about us, do you think we like spiders?

Eleanor and Alasdair step into the trousers of time, with Terry Pratchett's 1996 novel Johnny and the Bomb. Five inept British teens find themselves in World War Two with bags of time on their hands.

Was Johnny and the Bomb "The Bomb"? Or will it bomb in our estimation? And who were the real baddies in WW2?

(It was the Nazis.)

1957–1968 was a golden age of big cats breaking into kids' houses and smashing up the joint. For this episode, Eleanor & Alasdair read Dr Seuss's The Cat in the Hat and Judith Kerr's The Tiger Who Came to Tea. We aim to decide, scientifically, which of the two books is best (with absolutely no favouritism shown towards the one we obviously like more).

Will we like the American one?

Perhaps we'll find it much more fun?

Of course, there's not much chance of that.

'Cos Eleanor hates that creepy cat.

Eleanor and Alasdair are fighting! Eleanor is in love with Kenneth Grahame's The Wind in the Willows, but for Alasdair... it's complicated. The 1908 classic is a tale of motorcars, misadventure and yearning glances on the riverbank. But is it really a kid's book? Or is it a boring work of art?

Poop! Poop!

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