A boarding school for witches? Imagine that! No, not Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Bigotry. We're talking about Miss Cackle's Academy, from Jill Murphy's 1974 bestseller The Worst Witch. In this episode, Alasdair discovers the ropey TV Movie from 1986 and Eleanor learns that it's possible to identify with Mildred Hubble a bit too much.

Will the Worst Witch make the grade? Can we avoid talking about Harry Bloody Potter? And did Eleanor's childhood bullies have a point, actually?

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The Railway Children is an Edwardian children's classic and health & safety nightmare. Edith "E" Nesbit's novel is packed with unforgettable characters, railway mishaps and an exiled Russian dissident who no one remembers. In this episode, recorded live at the Edinburgh Fringe, we learn that trespassing on a train line is OK, as long as you're a middle-class child.

Will the book withstand the edgy, late-night comedy of Eleanor and Alasdair? What will we learn about the inevitable triumph of international socialism? And exactly how sexy was Bernard Cribbins in the film?

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Eleanor and Alasdair read The Story of Tracy Beaker. Jacqueline Wilson's 1991 hit has spawned numerous sequels and TV spin-offs, but Alasdair has missed out on all of them due to being a boy and man, in that order. The protagonist and narrator, Tracy Beaker, is an irrepressible kid in a care home and “the Millennial Holden Caulfield” (according to Eleanor).

Will Eleanor's childhood nostalgia survive re-reading the book? Will Alasdair “get narked” at the weirdly 1970s dialogue? And WHEN will we start a spin-off podcast called Bed-wet Buddies?

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