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Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

The Olympics are getting WILD 😳

This week on Dam Internet, You Scary!, we break down:

• Ski jumpers accused of using injections for aerodynamic advantage
• Curling cheating caught on secret cameras
• A man who broke into Little Caesars… just to make pizzas
• Etsy finally banning witches and spellcasters
• The Louvre getting scammed out of $11 MILLION
• Singapore punishing scammers with mandatory caning
• A church miracle that turned out to be sewage water 🤢

Plus chaotic hypotheticals like:
Would you survive 30 days alone in the woods for $1 million?
Would you let a stranger control your life for 24 hours for $100K?

🎟️ TOUR DATES

Tahir Moore – Detroit & NYC
Keysha E – Detroit & Atlanta
Check their socials for ticket links!

00:00 Atlanta Glow Up + Booty Club Salmon Debate
00:03 Show Intro + Keesha E Joins
00:07 Keesha’s Husband Requirements
00:12 True Crime Couple Ad
00:15 $1 Million Survival Question
00:20 Would You Let a Stranger Control You for $100K?
00:24 Olympic Ski Jumper Injection Scandal
00:28 Curling Cheating Exposed
00:30 Factor Ad Read
00:41 Man Breaks Into Little Caesars to Sell Pizza
00:44 Etsy Bans Spellcasters
00:46 Weirdest Things Bought Online
00:49 BlueChew Ad Read
00:52 The Louvre $11M Tour Scam
00:57 Singapore Scammers Get Caned
01:02 Anonymous Boss Call-Out Service
01:02 “Holy Water” Turns Out to Be Sewage
01:05 Show Outros + Tour Dates

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

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Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by Kali Scott for one of the wildest episodes yet.

https://www.instagram.com/likekaliscott

👍 Like
💬 Comment your wildest jury excuse
🔔 Subscribe for weekly episodes
🎧 Available on all podcast platforms

We cover:

• Finding out your friend secretly has an 18-year-old
• Jury duty chaos and suing people
• Would you cut off your finger to survive?
• Dating a “feeder” (yes, that’s real)
• 71 witnesses who ALL claimed they were in the bathroom
• A man who filled golf holes with human poop for 13 years
• Nike’s new sneaker tech that might end reselling
• Vasectomy horror stories (yes, he was awake)

This episode goes from hilarious to unhinged very quickly.

00:00 – Secret 18-Year-Old Daughter Reveal
04:15 – Suing People & Jury Duty Stories
08:40 – Crazy Horse Trial & School Field Trips
13:50 – Sacramento Love & Icebreakers Begin
15:15 – Would You Cut Off Your Finger to Survive?
21:40 – Bedroom Turn-Offs & Sex Playlist Confessions
28:55 – Tribe Called Quest Sex Story
31:30 – Dating a “Feeder” (Wild Trend Explained)
38:25 – BetterHelp Ad
42:00 – 71 Witnesses Claimed They Were in the Bathroom
46:45 – The Golf Course Poop Mystery (13 Years)
51:40 – Nike’s Secret Sneaker Authentication Tech
56:40 – Cash App Ad
59:35 – James Van Der Beek & Health Scare Talk
01:01:00 – Vasectomy Story (Graphic Details)
01:08:55 – In The Cloud Ad
01:12:10 – Vasectomy Procedure Continued
01:16:15 – Condoms vs Vasectomy Debate
01:19:35 – Guest Plugs & Netflix Is A Joke Announcement
01:23:00 – Outro

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

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Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

Guest: https://www.instagram.com/sydneyisfunny

Some places feel weird.
Some people feel off.
And sometimes… your cactus dying is a reflection of your spirit.

On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by comedian Sydney Castillo to break down bad vibes, strange energy, judgmental stores, plant-filled Airbnbs, and whether you can feel when something just isn’t right.

They also dive into:

Killing succulents (and what that says about you)
The Doomsday Clock
A doctor saving a man’s hand by attaching it to his leg
Self-driving cars hitting pedestrians

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

👍 Like this episode
💬 Comment: Do you believe in bad vibes?
🔔 Subscribe for new episodes of Dam Internet, You Scary!
🎧 Listen on all podcast platforms

00:00 – Cold Open/Intro
03:45 – Plants, Energy & Being a Bad Plant Parent
08:55 – The Joshua Tree Airbnb With Unreal Energy
13:35 – People With Bad Vibes
17:40 – Stores With Weird Energy (Trader Joe’s)
22:10 – Checking Receipts After Arguments
26:00 – Text vs Call vs FaceTime
30:05 – City Life vs Quiet Living
34:45 – PrizePicks Ad
38:05 – The Doomsday Clock
43:10 – Hand Saved by Being Attached to a Leg
50:30 – BlueChew GO Ad
53:40 – Waymo Self-Driving Car Hits a Child
58:55 – Sydney Castillo Show Plug
01:00:10 – Outro

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In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the wildest real internet stories you couldn’t make up if you tried. From a Florida woman arrested with drugs in a bag labeled “Definitely Not Drugs,” to a man who panicked and cut off his own finger after a snake bite that wasn’t even venomous, the chaos is nonstop.

We also get into:
Internet icebreakers gone wrong
Dating honesty that went way too far
Canceling plans, food discipline, and pizza relapse
Rubber duck mind games that made a cleaner quit
Theme park tragedy and real-life consequences
Why social media might actually be frying our brains

00:00 Cold Open: Diets, Bone Broth, and Anchovy Trauma
04:41 Politics, Fear, and Feeling “Too Adult”
11:08 If You Had to Leave the Country Right Now…
14:53 Icebreaker Chaos: When to Say the Truth
20:26 Getting Kicked Out Mid-Hookup (Twice)
24:42 Canceling Plans vs Getting Canceled On
28:18 Food Discipline, Pizza Relapse, and Aging
31:15 Ad Break: Mint Mobile (50% Off Unlimited)
37:08 Social Media Addiction & Celebrity Overexposure
42:08 Florida Woman Arrested With “Definitely Not Drugs”
44:38 Cleaner Quits After Rubber Duck Scavenger Hunt
50:22 Woman Dies on Universal Studios Ride
55:09 Man Cuts Off Finger After Snake Bite Panic
58:14 Final Thoughts + Tour Dates + Outro

🔔 SUPPORT THE SHOW

👍 Like the video
💬 Drop a comment (Which story messed you up the most?)
📺 Subscribe for weekly episodes
🔔 Turn on notifications so you don’t miss the chaos

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

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https://www.instagram.com/brandideniseboyd

Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud is joined by comedian Brandi Denise for an episode packed with wild science facts, unhinged internet stories, and brutally honest takes on therapy, food, and technology.

We’re talking:
• Sea slugs that cut off their own heads to survive
• Chess robots that break kids’ fingers
• Why gas station food might actually be elite
• Therapy being overrated (sometimes)
• AI voices changing on people
• South Korea’s real-life “relaxation prison”

Plus travel stories from Japan, childhood confessions, and why robots might already be plotting against us

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

00:00 Holiday Trees, Travel Chaos & Brandi Denise Joins
03:05 Japan Travel, Osaka Stories & Culture Shock
09:11 What’s Overrated? Therapy Takes Get Real
11:25 What’s Underrated? Gas Station Food Debate
16:38 Things People Pretend to Like
19:29 🔔 Ad Break: Factor Meals
23:03 Sea Slugs That Decapitate Themselves to Survive
29:09 Childhood Animal Stories Get Dark
34:44 Why Salt Kills Slugs (Science Explained)
36:28 🔔 Ad Break: BlueChew
38:43 Chess Robot Breaks a Kid’s Finger
44:26 AI Voices, Privacy & Tech Anxiety
52:13 South Korea’s Relaxation Prison Explained
56:42 Where Would You Move If Money Didn’t Matter?
01:04:05 Brandi Denise Projects & Tour Dates
01:06:15 Final Thoughts & Sign-Off

Subscribe for more episodes of Dam Internet, You Scary!
New episodes weekly featuring comedians, wild stories, and internet chaos.

🎟️ Tour Dates & Tickets
🎙️ Podcast Clips
📲 Follow the Hosts

#DamInternetYouScary #PatrickCloud #BrandiDenise #ComedyPodcast #WeirdInternet #AIStories #AnimalFacts #GasStationFood

Download Cash App Today: [https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/crftch8p] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

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The internet is already doing too much in 2026.

In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore sit down with Khleo Thomas to break down everything from dating expectations and social media overstimulation to AI robots, dystopian futures, and the wildest news stories on the internet right now.

We talk:

Why dating feels like a monthly expense
How social media drains your energy before noon
AI robots replacing humans (and using up our water)
A man arrested with over 100 skeletons in his basement
Internet fame, clickbait beef, and why nothing shocks us anymore
Tech nostalgia, childhood dreams, and adult money

Khleo Thomas’ NAACP Image Award nomination
Vote Here: https://naacpeoty.judge.live/categories/6ef87081-d4ec-405a-ac86-08de4c8933d8/entrants

This episode is funny, uncomfortable, and way too real.

00:00 – Cold Open: Dating Expectations & “Paying for Everything”
02:01 – Welcome to Damn Internet, You Scary!
03:14 – Guest Intro: Khleo Thomas
05:10 – Social Media Overstimulation & Morning Phone Habits
10:41 – Dating Costs, Red Flags & Relationship Expectations
18:40 – Selena Powell, Rappers & Internet Villain Energy
25:02 – Why Men Ignore Warnings in Dating
31:12 – Would You Rather: Late With an Excuse or On Time Miserable?
40:15 – Being Early, Airports & Anxiety
47:10 – Tech Unboxings, Collecting & Organization
55:20 – Living Childhood Dreams as Adults
01:02:55 – Disneyland Turkey Leg Debate
01:06:35 – Kraft Mac & Cheese vs Homemade (Conversion Story)
01:12:05 – Cash App Ad Read
01:15:50 – Robot Club Sightings in Vegas
01:19:40 – AI Robots Replacing Humans
01:23:05 – AI Using Water & Dystopian Future Talk
01:29:00 – Internet Fame, Clickbait & Manufactured Beef
01:35:10 – Man Arrested With 100 Skeletons in His Basement
01:43:45 – Why Nothing Surprises Us Anymore
01:47:50 – In The Cloud Ad Read (THC Gummies & Drinks)
01:52:35 – Cookie Monster’s Real Name
01:58:40 – Tickle Me Elmo & 90s Toy Chaos
02:06:20 – Old Cell Phones, Razr Era & Tech Nostalgia
02:18:30 – Khleo Thomas NAACP Image Award Nomination
02:24:50 – Where to Vote for Khleo
02:27:45 – Upcoming Shows & Closing

— SPONSORS —
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
🧠 BetterHelp
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💪 BlueChew
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Code: DIYS

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In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, We break down some of the wildest stories making the rounds online — from Japan attempting pizza delivery by reindeer, to a bar serving whiskey with a real human toe, to debates about eating bugs, camel meat, and where food curiosity should stop.

Along the way, the conversation turns into something deeper:
emotional control, discipline, internet outrage, authenticity, viral clips taken out of context, and why trying to please everyone online is a losing game.

This episode blends comedy, culture, and commentary — exactly the way the internet delivers it.

👇 Use chapters to jump to the stories you want

00:00 – New Year Kickoff & Live Chat Chaos
02:08 – Diet Changes, Weight Loss & Discipline Talk
09:27 – No Drinking, Vegas & Lifestyle Shifts
11:35 – Texting Back: Immediately or On Purpose?
14:03 – Blocking vs Muting People Online
18:10 – Did Jesus Drink? Internet Theology Debate
20:44 – Playing It Safe vs Being Authentic Online
26:03 – Why You Can’t Please Everyone on the Internet
33:31 – Emotional Control & Viral Altercations
39:07 – Embracing “Boring” & Morning Routines
45:59 – Japan Tried Pizza Delivery by Reindeer
50:23 – Whiskey Served With a Real Human Toe
55:02 – Eating Bugs While Traveling
58:28 – Camel Meat, Camel Hump & Food Limits
01:09:04 – Are Cats Linked to Schizophrenia?
01:14:56 – Tour Dates & Episode Wrap-Up

💬 Question for the comments:
Which story crossed the line for you — reindeer pizza, toe whiskey, or camel hump?

👍 Like
📺 Subscribe
📤 Share with someone who loves weird internet stories

#DamInternetYouScary #WeirdNews #InternetCulture #ComedyPodcast #StrangeStories