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In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the wildest real internet stories you couldn’t make up if you tried. From a Florida woman arrested with drugs in a bag labeled “Definitely Not Drugs,” to a man who panicked and cut off his own finger after a snake bite that wasn’t even venomous, the chaos is nonstop.

We also get into:
Internet icebreakers gone wrong
Dating honesty that went way too far
Canceling plans, food discipline, and pizza relapse
Rubber duck mind games that made a cleaner quit
Theme park tragedy and real-life consequences
Why social media might actually be frying our brains

00:00 Cold Open: Diets, Bone Broth, and Anchovy Trauma
04:41 Politics, Fear, and Feeling “Too Adult”
11:08 If You Had to Leave the Country Right Now…
14:53 Icebreaker Chaos: When to Say the Truth
20:26 Getting Kicked Out Mid-Hookup (Twice)
24:42 Canceling Plans vs Getting Canceled On
28:18 Food Discipline, Pizza Relapse, and Aging
31:15 Ad Break: Mint Mobile (50% Off Unlimited)
37:08 Social Media Addiction & Celebrity Overexposure
42:08 Florida Woman Arrested With “Definitely Not Drugs”
44:38 Cleaner Quits After Rubber Duck Scavenger Hunt
50:22 Woman Dies on Universal Studios Ride
55:09 Man Cuts Off Finger After Snake Bite Panic
58:14 Final Thoughts + Tour Dates + Outro

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👍 Like the video
💬 Drop a comment (Which story messed you up the most?)
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🔔 Turn on notifications so you don’t miss the chaos

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Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud is joined by comedian Brandi Denise for an episode packed with wild science facts, unhinged internet stories, and brutally honest takes on therapy, food, and technology.

We’re talking:
• Sea slugs that cut off their own heads to survive
• Chess robots that break kids’ fingers
• Why gas station food might actually be elite
• Therapy being overrated (sometimes)
• AI voices changing on people
• South Korea’s real-life “relaxation prison”

Plus travel stories from Japan, childhood confessions, and why robots might already be plotting against us

Join our Patreon now!!
https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

00:00 Holiday Trees, Travel Chaos & Brandi Denise Joins
03:05 Japan Travel, Osaka Stories & Culture Shock
09:11 What’s Overrated? Therapy Takes Get Real
11:25 What’s Underrated? Gas Station Food Debate
16:38 Things People Pretend to Like
19:29 🔔 Ad Break: Factor Meals
23:03 Sea Slugs That Decapitate Themselves to Survive
29:09 Childhood Animal Stories Get Dark
34:44 Why Salt Kills Slugs (Science Explained)
36:28 🔔 Ad Break: BlueChew
38:43 Chess Robot Breaks a Kid’s Finger
44:26 AI Voices, Privacy & Tech Anxiety
52:13 South Korea’s Relaxation Prison Explained
56:42 Where Would You Move If Money Didn’t Matter?
01:04:05 Brandi Denise Projects & Tour Dates
01:06:15 Final Thoughts & Sign-Off

Subscribe for more episodes of Dam Internet, You Scary!
New episodes weekly featuring comedians, wild stories, and internet chaos.

🎟️ Tour Dates & Tickets
🎙️ Podcast Clips
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#DamInternetYouScary #PatrickCloud #BrandiDenise #ComedyPodcast #WeirdInternet #AIStories #AnimalFacts #GasStationFood

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The internet is already doing too much in 2026.

In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore sit down with Khleo Thomas to break down everything from dating expectations and social media overstimulation to AI robots, dystopian futures, and the wildest news stories on the internet right now.

We talk:

Why dating feels like a monthly expense
How social media drains your energy before noon
AI robots replacing humans (and using up our water)
A man arrested with over 100 skeletons in his basement
Internet fame, clickbait beef, and why nothing shocks us anymore
Tech nostalgia, childhood dreams, and adult money

Khleo Thomas’ NAACP Image Award nomination
Vote Here: https://naacpeoty.judge.live/categories/6ef87081-d4ec-405a-ac86-08de4c8933d8/entrants

This episode is funny, uncomfortable, and way too real.

00:00 – Cold Open: Dating Expectations & “Paying for Everything”
02:01 – Welcome to Damn Internet, You Scary!
03:14 – Guest Intro: Khleo Thomas
05:10 – Social Media Overstimulation & Morning Phone Habits
10:41 – Dating Costs, Red Flags & Relationship Expectations
18:40 – Selena Powell, Rappers & Internet Villain Energy
25:02 – Why Men Ignore Warnings in Dating
31:12 – Would You Rather: Late With an Excuse or On Time Miserable?
40:15 – Being Early, Airports & Anxiety
47:10 – Tech Unboxings, Collecting & Organization
55:20 – Living Childhood Dreams as Adults
01:02:55 – Disneyland Turkey Leg Debate
01:06:35 – Kraft Mac & Cheese vs Homemade (Conversion Story)
01:12:05 – Cash App Ad Read
01:15:50 – Robot Club Sightings in Vegas
01:19:40 – AI Robots Replacing Humans
01:23:05 – AI Using Water & Dystopian Future Talk
01:29:00 – Internet Fame, Clickbait & Manufactured Beef
01:35:10 – Man Arrested With 100 Skeletons in His Basement
01:43:45 – Why Nothing Surprises Us Anymore
01:47:50 – In The Cloud Ad Read (THC Gummies & Drinks)
01:52:35 – Cookie Monster’s Real Name
01:58:40 – Tickle Me Elmo & 90s Toy Chaos
02:06:20 – Old Cell Phones, Razr Era & Tech Nostalgia
02:18:30 – Khleo Thomas NAACP Image Award Nomination
02:24:50 – Where to Vote for Khleo
02:27:45 – Upcoming Shows & Closing