In this episode of Dad Starts Now, we’re joined by Joel Sardi, a military veteran and dad of two who became a father after sustaining a spinal cord injury that left him with quadriplegia. Joel talks candidly about life before and after his injury, how his identity shifted and what it really means to show up as a dad when the physical side of parenting looks different. He shares how he and his partner navigated IVF, pregnancy and the early months of parenthood, including the challenge of feeling like a spectator at times and how emotional presence and support have become central to his role as a dad and partner.

Key takeaways:

• In 2014, a three-storey fall shattered his C5 and left him with quadriplegia, and he described the next year in hospital as “really dark” — but also the start of a long identity shift into “mark two” Joel
• When it came time to start a family, IVF was straightforward for them because his fertility wasn’t the issue — it was sexual function after the spinal injury
• Because he couldn’t “fix” things physically during his partner's pregnancy, he focused on empathy and listening
• He couldn’t do the usual hands-on baby care and said that made him feel like a “spectator” for the first six months, which was a real challenge
• He said what surprised him most was the relationship dynamic shift after the first baby — after years of it being just him and Elisa, everything changed overnight
• He's found more freedom and joy as the girls got more independent — like his youngest learning to do her seatbelt — and he loves being able to take them out solo
• He wants his girls to grow up with resilience and courage, and he links that back to his own mindset of “adapt and overcome” from the army and living with disability

More resources:

You can follow Joel on Instagram or check out his website here.

Got questions or feedback?

Email us at podcasts@healthymale.org.au. We love getting your voice notes.

The end bits:

This podcast was created by Healthy Male — an Australian not-for-profit that provides evidence-based information on men's health. You can find more from us on Instagram, TikTok and our website.

We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands on which this podcast was recorded — the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation, and the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples listening today.

This podcast is intended for general informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis, treatment and personalised medical guidance.

Dad Starts Now — a podcast from Healthy Male, helping men become — and be — the best dad possible. The responsibility of fatherhood starts well before the birth of your baby, with big decisions, plenty of uncertainty and sometimes a lot that goes unspoken.

In season two of Dad Starts Now — hosted by Dr Tim Moss — we discuss what it really means to prepare for fatherhood in honest conversations with well-known guests. Some are dealing with infertility, some are about to welcome their first babies, and others are in the thick of parenting. We'll cover topics including:

• Fertility and IVF
• Miscarriage and pregnancy loss
• Supporting a partner during pregnancy
• Relationship changes
• Mental health
• Identity shifts
• Pressure, expectations and masculinity
• Parental leave
• Preparing for fatherhood

Because becoming a dad starts now. But you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Subscribe to Dad Starts Now wherever you listen to your podcasts, or follow us on YouTube, to get the series when it drops on February 3.