Do you believe what you do is never enough—that you are not enough? If so, you are not alone. In this episode I explore the possible origins of the pressure women feel to gain approval and how my work with women led to the expression of, “Blooming Outside the Lines.” In this episode I share

• the connection between self-worth and approval in women who came to see me, no matter how bright, capable, and accomplished the woman.
• that based on our history as women, it is understandable that pleasing and appeasing would have been passed down both genetically, as well as through socialization.
• when constantly striving for approval, we are operating from a shaking foundation leaving us feeling insecure and not enough.
• what may seem like small steps will add up and help build a solid foundation, based on your wisdom.

To learn more from Deb,

¨ Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.

¨ To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guide athttps://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/

¨ If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

Are we designed to be calm? We certainly get that impression from the messages we receive. Anxiety is uncomfortable. I get it because I’ve been there. The problem is that expecting to be calm may be unrealistic and result in more symptoms. Join me as I discuss another set of lines we work hard to stay within that of being calm. I’ll share

• Studies suggesting that evolution favors anxiety and that trying to avoid stress may be detrimental.
• How we often misinterpret the support the body is providing as anxiety and something to be feared.
• A curiosity of what might happen if women offered the kindness and acceptance, to themselves when anxious that they so readily share with others.

To learn more from Deb,

• Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.
• To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guide athttps://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/
• If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

Learn why believing self-care is selfish backfires. If you are questioning whether you “should” be taking time out for self-care when our nation is in crisis, this episode will tackle that question by delving into the physiological repercussions of ignoring self-care. Go beyond “self-care is important” and understand why self-care is essential in dealing effectively with and contributing constructively during challenging situations.

Key points

• Women often view self-care as a reward rather than a requirement.
• Ignoring self-care can impact brain functioning and, as a result capability.

To learn more from Deb,

• Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.
• To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guide at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/
• If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

If you believe that being hard on yourself will foster change, this episode just might shake up that belief. In it, Deb tackles self-acceptance—exploring why it is so important and the resistance it typically stirs up. Some key points she shares include:

• Self-acceptance is often misunderstood and, as a result, avoided.
• We tend to be more accepting of others than ourselves.
• From a brain perspective, self-acceptance fosters growth and change, rather than hindering it.
• That it was self-acceptance and self-compassion that opened the door to more peace in her life after years of striving to be “good enough.”

To learn more from Deb,

¨ Visit her website https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information on her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.

¨ To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guidehttps://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/

¨ If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

Wish you knew your purpose in life and wonder what is wrong with you that you don’t? What if it wasn’t personal and had more to do with our socialization as women? Would that allow you to ease up on yourself? In this episode Deb uses her life, as well as the lives of the women she has worked with over the years, to share

• How as women, there are so many forces driving our attention outside of ourselves that we don't learn who we are or what we need.
• Instead we learn what makes others happy.
• Seeking validation from others often results in distress and changes in the functioning of the brain, which limit our self-knowledge.
• how the concept of blooming grew out of watching women bloom, while separating their worth from approval.

To learn more from Deb,

¨ Visit her website https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information on her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.

¨ To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guidehttps://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/

¨ If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines,you can do so here:ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

Are you afraid of being yourself in the world? Do you constantly struggle to feel “good enough”? If so, join me in talking about why we, as women, try so hard to stay within the lines of what is acceptable, the toll that striving takes on our lives, and the rewards of blooming outside the lines. Hosted by Deb Lang, a licensed psychologist who has worked with women for over 30 years. In this episode, Deb illustrates stepping outside the lines using her decision to start a podcast—something she said she would never do.

Key points:

Women are socialized to please and stay within the lines of what is seen as acceptable.

Stepping outside those lines is often difficult, as self-worth is often linked with approval and safety.

Disconnecting self-worth from approval is often expansive—allowing women to bloom and trust their own wisdom.

You deserve to be you—even if others disagree.

To learn more from Deb

¨ Visit her website https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information on her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.

¨ To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guide https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/

¨ If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.

To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how

—on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll

down and tap “Write a Review”

—on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars

Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show.

If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines

There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting this work.