Joe Stabley is a Special Forces medic turned physician assistant — one of the most demanding career fields in the military, followed by a doctorate-adjacent civilian one. By any outward measure, he was a success. He also spent the better part of a decade managing suicidal ideation that started with a friend's death on a peacetime deployment before 9/11, and that he describes as something he still lives with today, not something he's recovered from. This conversation traces that whole arc: Jason's suicide in the Sinai when Joe was 19, two more friends lost in the years that followed, a breakdown in an ER that led him to the edge of a freeway overpass, an Adderall dependency that started as a PA-school fix, and the VA and Wounded Warrior Project support that ultimately got him here — now a member of WWP's national campaign team. Joe calls this the most raw interview he's ever given, and it shows. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or reach the Veterans Crisis Line at 988, press 1. This is Episode 4 of Still Here, a five-part series produced in partnership with Wounded Warrior Project for Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Catch up with Episodes 1–3 (Zach, Lindsey, and Sam) if you haven't yet. Episode 5 — Lyndsay Tkach, WWP's Director of Mental and Brain Health Services, closing out the series — drops next week. Chapters: 0:00 Welcome, and introducing Joe 0:17 Setting up the paradox: a celebrated medic who decided to die 2:38 Pre-9/11: Jason's suicide at a peacetime outpost in the Sinai 9:08 Iraq, 2007: losing Rob Perelli and carrying the weight forward 11:07 Coming home to a healthcare system that felt broken 13:12 Does military life itself brutalize people, combat or not? 14:31 Genetics, childhood, and service: combat as catalyst, not cause 18:06 Has suicide prevention actually improved since he was 19? 20:14 Was Jason's death alone enough to explain everything? 22:28 "I dedicated my entire life to medicine" — and the weight of not saving people 26:03 "This is the measuring stick by which I judge my existence" 26:52 Medical retirement, and the Green Beret actuarial tables 28:48 Eleven years in, and losing a second friend right after the first 32:48 How does a guy with everything going for him get here? 33:04 PA school begins 33:24 A panic attack in uniform, and the trigger that came out of nowhere 39:23 Diagnosis, Adderall, and a dependency he didn't see coming 40:47 The ER, a schedule with no rhythm, and the first suicidal moment 52:05 Did being a provider make it harder to see it in himself? 52:48 Getting help: the VA, Vet Centers, and finally talking 56:03 "A chronic condition you're managing in real time" 56:18 His advice: don't carry this alone 1:05:32 Closing thoughts Learn more about Wounded Warrior Project: woundedwarriorproject.org
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