
83.In the Moment: Supporting Your Person Through a Spiral
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In this week’s episode of Love Conquers, Kaz and Matt take a close-up look at what it really means to intervene in real time when your autistic partner (or loved one) starts to dysregulate. It's the stuff that doesn't get taught in diagnostic handbooks or relationship guides—what to do when someone you love is spiraling, shutting down, or quietly drowning in overwhelm.
With candid examples from their own lives, they explore the art of stepping in without stepping on—how to offer grounding, safety, and regulation while honoring autonomy and avoiding the dreaded “fixer” mode. From non-verbal cues to pre-agreed comfort rituals, this episode breaks down practical strategies for recognizing escalation, navigating the tension, and creating space for recovery without shame.
Kaz and Matt also reflect on what it takes to build trust in these moments—how to talk about needs before things go sideways, and how to debrief afterward without adding fuel to the fire. It’s part love language, part emotional first aid, and fully essential for anyone in relationship with an autistic partner.
If you’ve ever felt helpless in the face of a loved one’s meltdown or shutdown, or unsure how to actually help—this episode is for you.