What happens when your abusive ex turns the courtroom into their new battleground? For many domestic violence survivors, escaping the relationship is just the beginning of a harrowing journey through family court systems that weren't designed to handle complex abuse dynamics.

Lisa Johnson knows this battlefield intimately. After spending 10 years navigating 100+ court appearances across two states and successfully defending herself against a $4 million defamation lawsuit from her ex-husband, she's transformed her traumatic experience into a lifeline for others. As co-founder of Been There Got Out and author of books on toxic relationships and high-conflict divorce, Lisa specializes in helping survivors outwit legal abuse—when abusers weaponize the justice system to continue control, drain finances, and punish their victims.

In this eye-opening conversation, Lisa shares crucial strategies for documenting patterns of behavior, communicating strategically, and navigating alienation attempts when children become pawns in the power struggle. She explains why staying "for the kids" often causes more harm than protection, how to develop critical thinking in children facing manipulation, and the delicate balance of working with attorneys, guardian ad litems, and court evaluators who may not understand the dynamics of coercive control.

Most importantly, Lisa reminds listeners that abusers target strong, capable people—the "shining stars" who make them look good. "It's not because you're a loser that this is happening; it's because you're amazing," she emphasizes. For anyone facing the daunting prospect of family court after domestic violence, this episode offers practical tools, validation, and a reminder that with the right support, there is a path forward through seemingly impossible circumstances.

Lisa's Links:

https://beentheregotout.com/

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/lisa-johnson/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

What happens when the person who says they love you suddenly turns cold, making you question your own reality? Therapist Darren Elliott pulls back the curtain on narcissism, revealing it's not just a label we throw at difficult people, but a profound emotional disconnection that affects everyone to some degree.

After experiencing the bewildering pain of narcissistic relationships firsthand, Elliott found himself on an unexpected journey – from victim to therapist specializing in treating the very people many clinicians avoid. His compassionate approach challenges our understanding of narcissism as he explains "the split" that causes narcissists to operate in two disconnected emotional states. "When they're in that negative energy, they've literally forgotten all the stuff that happened in their positive energy," Elliott reveals, describing how someone can adore you one moment and seem to hate you the next.

Through his innovative "Love Loops" concept and the Narcissism Recovery Project, Elliott offers hope for both those affected by narcissistic relationships and those struggling with narcissistic traits themselves. The conversation takes surprising turns, exploring how traditional masculinity even the pressure to maintain a "perfect family" narrative can contribute to narcissistic patterns. Elliott also shares how his drag persona, Doreen Devine, uses comedy to make these difficult topics accessible, helping people recognize narcissistic behaviors without shame.

Whether you've been called a narcissist, loved someone who displays these traits, or simply want to understand the emotional dynamics at play in difficult relationships, this episode provides eye-opening insights about our human need for connection. As Elliott reminds us, "We are just a bunch of human pack animals, and our natural state is loving each other." Join us for this transformative conversation about healing the disconnection at the heart of narcissism.

Darren's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/darren-elliott/

https://www.thenarcissismrecoveryproject.com/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Resilience takes many forms, but few journeys demonstrate its power quite like Julie Barth's story of survival and transformation. After losing her first husband to pancreatic cancer while raising four children including a special needs daughter, Julie found herself vulnerable and seeking escape from grief. This led her directly into the arms of an emotional abuser who would spend the next decade systematically dismantling her confidence, isolating her from support systems, and convincing her she was "crazy."

With remarkable candor, Julie reveals the insidious nature of emotional and financial abuse. She describes how her abuser would deliberately provoke her until she reacted, then use those reactions as evidence of her instability—even going so far as to strategically place chairs around their property to watch her break down and record her at vulnerable moments. These calculated actions served to further isolate Julie and make her question her own sanity. The financial manipulation was equally devastating, as her abuser sabotaged household items, refused to contribute financially, and created obstacles that prevented her from maintaining stability for her children.

What makes Julie's story particularly powerful is her insight into why people stay in abusive relationships. "Everyone always asks, 'Why did you stay so long?'" she reflects. "But from the inside, when you're making that choice, you feel like you're going to lose everything if you leave." Julie's breaking point finally came when her son confronted her about the impact her abuser was having on the family—a moment of clarity that pushed her to choose her children's wellbeing over her fear of the unknown.

Today, Julie has transformed her painful experiences into purpose through the Colin James Barth Outreach, named after her first husband. The organization aims to help women in crisis before they lose everything, recognizing that support systems often only offer help after someone has hit rock bottom. Through her books, advocacy work, and direct support to women in need, Julie embodies the resilience she hopes to inspire in others.

Listen to this episode if you've ever felt trapped in a situation that seemed impossible to escape, or if you want to understand how to support someone who might be experiencing abuse.

Julie's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/julie-barth/

https://hope4tayt.com/

https://www.juliebarthauthor.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Notes-BlackBerry-Julie-Barth/dp/B0CY6DMP5W

https://www.instagram.com/julie_barth_author/

https://www.facebook.com/julie.e.barth/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliebarthauthor/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

What happens when a survivor decides that no one else should face the same isolation and roadblocks she encountered? Ali Allred joins 1 in 3 for a second powerful conversation to reveal how she's building a lifeline for those trapped in domestic violence and human trafficking situations.

After escaping her own abusive relationship, Ali began sharing her story online. The response was overwhelming—survivors reaching out from everywhere, desperate for help. "I just got pissed," she says. "This is not happening on my watch." That determination birthed Survivors to Safety, a crisis response organization now spanning the US and Canada.

Unlike traditional hotlines, Ali's team doesn't just provide a list of resources and wish callers good luck. They become advocates and liaisons, walking alongside survivors through their entire journey. They've helped women pack emergency bags while abusers sleep, arranged transportation to shelters, and supported them through rebuilding their lives. "We may not be certified therapists," Ali explains, "but we can tell you how to pack a bag. We can tell you where to store your keys if he tries to take them from you."

This survivor-led approach addresses a critical gap in services. When survivors exhaust all available resources—when shelters are full or legal options fail—Survivors to Safety steps in with practical solutions born from lived experience. As federal grants diminish and resources dwindle, Ali's response was characteristic: "If there aren't these resources, I'm going to f---ing make them."

Beyond direct intervention, Ali co-hosts the Pain to Power podcast, creating another platform for survivors to reclaim their voices. The name reflects her philosophy: "Abusers want to take your power away. They want to dim your light because that makes you manageable. You have to get up, get angry, get your light back."

Ready to support a survivor or need help yourself? Find Pain to Power on Spotify and connect with Survivors to Safety on Instagram, Facebook, or their website. Follow Ali's personal journey @tappedASF on Instagram and TikTok

Ali's links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/ali-allred/

https://open.spotify.com/show/3Qg6bzW8VJagFxcOw7muin?si=_h9TooqrRqujVzEsx1FCTg&nd=1&dlsi=bf0c0da41865411e

https://www.facebook.com/ali.allred.3?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=Fjn2s7xO8dT6jZW9&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1AiJsfkB4e%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr#

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Nobody grows up thinking they'll become a human trafficking survivor. For Ali Allred, life began with childhood instability that created the first cracks in her foundation. Sexual assault at age three and eventual substance abuse as a teenager that formed a perfect storm of vulnerability that traffickers would later exploit.

Ali's raw, unflinching account reveals how trafficking often begins not with kidnapping, but through calculated manipulation. What followed was a nightmare of control, violence, and exploitation that spanned years and multiple traffickers. Making up to $10,000 daily while being allowed only $5 for herself, Ali experienced firsthand how thoroughly traffickers can strip away autonomy and identity.

The path to freedom proved treacherous. Multiple escape attempts, psychiatric hospitalizations, substance relapses, and system failures marked her journey. When she finally broke free, she faced the overwhelming challenge of rebuilding from scratch—without even basic identification documents. Yet through this impossible struggle, Ali discovered her purpose. "I never thought I would be a human trafficking, kidnapping, sexual assault or domestic violence survivor," she says. "It just happened and I have to live with it. At the end of the day, I want to take my pain and turn it not only into power but purpose."

Join us for this powerful conversation about survival against impossible odds. Ali's story isn't just about the horrific reality of trafficking—it's about reclaiming voice, agency, and meaning after unimaginable trauma. As she reminds us, "We've survived 100% of our worst days." If you or someone you know is struggling with exploitation or trafficking, resources are available. You are not alone.

Ali's links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/ali-allred/

https://open.spotify.com/show/3Qg6bzW8VJagFxcOw7muin?si=_h9TooqrRqujVzEsx1FCTg&nd=1&dlsi=bf0c0da41865411e

https://www.facebook.com/ali.allred.3?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=Fjn2s7xO8dT6jZW9&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1AiJsfkB4e%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr#

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

What happens when the chaos of abuse finally ends, and you're faced with the possibility of new love? For many survivors, this terrain feels more frightening than familiar.

Dating after domestic violence isn't just about meeting someone new—it's about rewiring your entire understanding of what relationships should feel like. When you've spent years walking on eggshells, genuine kindness can feel suspicious. When you've learned to anticipate mood swings, a stable partner might seem boring. When you've been conditioned to perform gratitude, authentic appreciation feels foreign.

In this enlightening conversation with life coach and podcaster Kimberly Mathis, we unpack the complex reality of finding love after trauma. Rather than offering simplistic advice, we dive into the nuanced challenges: How do you distinguish between legitimate red flags and your own trauma responses? When should you disclose your abuse history? How do you recognize love bombing versus genuine interest?

Kimberly brings both professional expertise and refreshing candor to these questions. "You can't say the wrong thing to the right person," she notes, offering a powerful litmus test for potential partners. The way someone responds to your boundaries, concerns, and authentic self reveals far more than any dating profile ever could.

We explore practical strategies for navigating new relationships, from creating code words with partners to identify when old patterns arise, to recognizing that compatibility matters more than intense feelings. After all, as Kimberly wisely observes, "We can love people who are terrible for us."

Whether you're actively dating, considering returning to the dating world, or simply working to understand healthy relationship dynamics, this episode offers both validation and practical guidance. The journey toward healthy love starts with choosing yourself first—and understanding that you're never "too much" for the right person.

Ready to transform your approach to relationships after abuse? Listen now, and discover how to open your heart again without abandoning your boundaries.

Kimberly's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/kimberly-mathis/

https://www.kimberlymathis.com/

https://open.spotify.com/show/5HZ9s0n0rfoje9MeOn39TI?si=d32f3d84e6f44b61&nd=1&dlsi=4e881e36108a4e67

https://www.instagram.com/thekimberlymathis/

https://www.facebook.com/thekimberlymathis

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

The words "narcissist" and "gaslighting" get thrown around a lot these days, but do we truly understand what they mean? In this powerful conversation with Nova Gibson, author of the bestselling book "Fake Love" and host of "Fake Love and Flying Monkeys" podcast, we dive deep into the insidious world of narcissistic abuse and why recognizing it could literally save your life.

Nova shares her expertise as both a survivor and therapist who exclusively works with victims of narcissistic abuse. She explains how these relationships follow predictable patterns—from the initial love bombing phase that hooks victims with a false persona, to the devastating devaluation that leaves them questioning reality. Using the chilling "frog in boiling water" analogy, Nova illustrates how abuse escalates so gradually that victims become acclimatized to increasingly harmful behavior without realizing they're in danger.

What makes this episode particularly eye-opening is Nova's breakdown of specific manipulation tactics. We explore how gaslighting systematically destroys a victim's ability to trust their own perceptions, how triangulation creates artificial competition between people, and how flying monkeys and smear campaigns work to isolate victims from support. Nova emphasizes that these aren't random behaviors but calculated strategies used by abusers across cultures and contexts.

The conversation takes an empowering turn when we discuss the growing legal recognition of coercive control as domestic violence, with Australia recently implementing legislation that has already led to criminal charges. Most importantly, Nova delivers the crucial message that narcissists don't change—and understanding this truth is the first step toward healing.

Whether you've experienced narcissistic abuse firsthand, know someone who might be suffering, or simply want to understand these dynamics, this episode provides validation, clarity, and hope. Connect with Nova's work through her book "Fake Love" or her counseling services to continue your journey of understanding and healing.

Nova's links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/nova-gibson/

https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/

https://mybook.to/F3gm

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/fake-love-and-flying-monkeys/id1748520586

https://www.facebook.com/NovaGibsonNarcissisticAbuseExpert?rdid=77rdx0a1r4NZ2SHB&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1AkDxb1x77%2F#

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Sometimes the shortest messages carry the most profound weight. After the controversial Diddy verdict sent ripples through survivor communities, many wondered if speaking truth to power still matters in a system that often protects the wealthy and influential. This episode stands as both shield and sword—defending those feeling discouraged while cutting through the noise with a message of unwavering resolve.

"They still don't understand the resilience of a survivor," I remind my listeners, speaking directly to warriors at every stage of their journey. Whether you're the loud voice demanding legislative change, the quiet support for a friend in crisis, or someone still trapped in the fight of your life, this community sees you. We acknowledge the brutal reality of 2025's challenges: protection rollbacks, resource cuts, and systems that weren't built for survivors. Yet these obstacles only strengthen our determination.

The heart of this episode beats with a simple truth: survivor resilience isn't accidental but forged through fire. When powerful men escape consequences, we don't retreat—we regroup. We carve paths for those still lost in darkness, carry those too tired to stand, and speak for those reduced to whispers. If you're exhausted today, let the rest of us shoulder the weight until you're ready to rejoin the fight. Because after everything we've survived, do they really think another disappointment will silence us now?

Between heartfelt gratitude for your continued support and exciting announcements about upcoming guests and community initiatives, this episode serves as both balm and battle cry. Whatever brought you to this community—whether personal experience or professional commitment—remember that your voice matters, your presence strengthens us all, and you are never, ever alone in this fight. Subscribe now to join our growing community of warriors committed to creating the change we need to see.

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe