What happens when the person who says they love you suddenly turns cold, making you question your own reality? Therapist Darren Elliott pulls back the curtain on narcissism, revealing it's not just a label we throw at difficult people, but a profound emotional disconnection that affects everyone to some degree.

After experiencing the bewildering pain of narcissistic relationships firsthand, Elliott found himself on an unexpected journey – from victim to therapist specializing in treating the very people many clinicians avoid. His compassionate approach challenges our understanding of narcissism as he explains "the split" that causes narcissists to operate in two disconnected emotional states. "When they're in that negative energy, they've literally forgotten all the stuff that happened in their positive energy," Elliott reveals, describing how someone can adore you one moment and seem to hate you the next.

Through his innovative "Love Loops" concept and the Narcissism Recovery Project, Elliott offers hope for both those affected by narcissistic relationships and those struggling with narcissistic traits themselves. The conversation takes surprising turns, exploring how traditional masculinity even the pressure to maintain a "perfect family" narrative can contribute to narcissistic patterns. Elliott also shares how his drag persona, Doreen Devine, uses comedy to make these difficult topics accessible, helping people recognize narcissistic behaviors without shame.

Whether you've been called a narcissist, loved someone who displays these traits, or simply want to understand the emotional dynamics at play in difficult relationships, this episode provides eye-opening insights about our human need for connection. As Elliott reminds us, "We are just a bunch of human pack animals, and our natural state is loving each other." Join us for this transformative conversation about healing the disconnection at the heart of narcissism.

Darren's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/darren-elliott/

https://www.thenarcissismrecoveryproject.com/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Resilience takes many forms, but few journeys demonstrate its power quite like Julie Barth's story of survival and transformation. After losing her first husband to pancreatic cancer while raising four children including a special needs daughter, Julie found herself vulnerable and seeking escape from grief. This led her directly into the arms of an emotional abuser who would spend the next decade systematically dismantling her confidence, isolating her from support systems, and convincing her she was "crazy."

With remarkable candor, Julie reveals the insidious nature of emotional and financial abuse. She describes how her abuser would deliberately provoke her until she reacted, then use those reactions as evidence of her instability—even going so far as to strategically place chairs around their property to watch her break down and record her at vulnerable moments. These calculated actions served to further isolate Julie and make her question her own sanity. The financial manipulation was equally devastating, as her abuser sabotaged household items, refused to contribute financially, and created obstacles that prevented her from maintaining stability for her children.

What makes Julie's story particularly powerful is her insight into why people stay in abusive relationships. "Everyone always asks, 'Why did you stay so long?'" she reflects. "But from the inside, when you're making that choice, you feel like you're going to lose everything if you leave." Julie's breaking point finally came when her son confronted her about the impact her abuser was having on the family—a moment of clarity that pushed her to choose her children's wellbeing over her fear of the unknown.

Today, Julie has transformed her painful experiences into purpose through the Colin James Barth Outreach, named after her first husband. The organization aims to help women in crisis before they lose everything, recognizing that support systems often only offer help after someone has hit rock bottom. Through her books, advocacy work, and direct support to women in need, Julie embodies the resilience she hopes to inspire in others.

Listen to this episode if you've ever felt trapped in a situation that seemed impossible to escape, or if you want to understand how to support someone who might be experiencing abuse.

Julie's Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/julie-barth/

https://hope4tayt.com/

https://www.juliebarthauthor.com/

https://www.amazon.com/Notes-BlackBerry-Julie-Barth/dp/B0CY6DMP5W

https://www.instagram.com/julie_barth_author/

https://www.facebook.com/julie.e.barth/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliebarthauthor/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

What happens when a survivor decides that no one else should face the same isolation and roadblocks she encountered? Ali Allred joins 1 in 3 for a second powerful conversation to reveal how she's building a lifeline for those trapped in domestic violence and human trafficking situations.

After escaping her own abusive relationship, Ali began sharing her story online. The response was overwhelming—survivors reaching out from everywhere, desperate for help. "I just got pissed," she says. "This is not happening on my watch." That determination birthed Survivors to Safety, a crisis response organization now spanning the US and Canada.

Unlike traditional hotlines, Ali's team doesn't just provide a list of resources and wish callers good luck. They become advocates and liaisons, walking alongside survivors through their entire journey. They've helped women pack emergency bags while abusers sleep, arranged transportation to shelters, and supported them through rebuilding their lives. "We may not be certified therapists," Ali explains, "but we can tell you how to pack a bag. We can tell you where to store your keys if he tries to take them from you."

This survivor-led approach addresses a critical gap in services. When survivors exhaust all available resources—when shelters are full or legal options fail—Survivors to Safety steps in with practical solutions born from lived experience. As federal grants diminish and resources dwindle, Ali's response was characteristic: "If there aren't these resources, I'm going to f---ing make them."

Beyond direct intervention, Ali co-hosts the Pain to Power podcast, creating another platform for survivors to reclaim their voices. The name reflects her philosophy: "Abusers want to take your power away. They want to dim your light because that makes you manageable. You have to get up, get angry, get your light back."

Ready to support a survivor or need help yourself? Find Pain to Power on Spotify and connect with Survivors to Safety on Instagram, Facebook, or their website. Follow Ali's personal journey @tappedASF on Instagram and TikTok

Ali's links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/ali-allred/

https://open.spotify.com/show/3Qg6bzW8VJagFxcOw7muin?si=_h9TooqrRqujVzEsx1FCTg&nd=1&dlsi=bf0c0da41865411e

https://www.facebook.com/ali.allred.3?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=Fjn2s7xO8dT6jZW9&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1AiJsfkB4e%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr#

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to 1in3podcast@gmail.com
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe